Little Miss Jocelyn

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Little Miss Jocelyn
Genre Comedy sketch show
Running time 28 minutes
Starring Jocelyn Jee Esien
Country of origin UK
Original channel BBC Three
Original run August 22, 2006–September 26, 2006
No. of episodes 6
Official website
IMDb profile

Little Miss Jocelyn is a comedy sketch show series written by Jocelyn Jee Esien, who also plays all the main comedic characters. The show aired on BBC Three in the United Kingdom, with the first episode broadcast on August 22, 2006. The show was also available to people in the UK via Internet streaming. Mostly consisting of comedy sketches, the show also featured some hidden camera footage where unsuspecting members of the public were involved in a scene. The first series was released on DVD on September 25, 2006.

[edit] Characters

  • Madam President, the first Black female President of the United States (clearly modelled on Condoleezza Rice), who when asked a question at press conferences, always replies in English heavily laced with Ebonics and references to African-American culture (such as Diff'rent Strokes and Cab Calloway).
  • Mrs Omwukuopopo, a Nigerian woman who openly practices polyandry, but seeks marriage counselling with her multiple husbands.
  • Jiffy, a Nigerian parking attendant, who constantly finds people that she can write parking tickets for, each time delivering a lengthy speech and stating that she works "for Queen and Country". Prior to writing out the ticket, she says, "This will take a long time", sometimes stressing the word "long". Jiffy sometimes shows up in rather unexpected places, including on the screen of a cashpoint machine or in the glove compartment of an illegally parked car. Jiffy wears un oversized police uniform, has an afro and wears bright blue eye shadow.
  • Fiona, a woman that works in an office where the other staff are white, and she is convinced that no one knows she is black, and so goes to any lengths to keep it quiet. She often believes that her "secret" will be compromised due to the presence of another black person, and will believe that everything spoken by this person is related to a Black stereotype, when this is rarely the case. She often is brought to sing urban music or speak local slang in the presence of a black person. It is later revealed that her boss, Brian, truly does not know that Fiona is Black, much to the surprise of his Black wife, despite the fact that he's worked with her for seven years.
  • Paulette, a sophisticated upper class business woman. When she is refused something, she will resort to acting like a child, crying and throwing a tantrum, usually until such a time where what she wants is given to her or granted. Is the only character to appear in every episode.
  • Florence is an overweight nurse working in a clinic, but always deals with her patients with voodoo, her idea of complimentary medicine otherwise (according to her)they are beyond help. She mainly deals with patients that are over weight or obese and explains their ideal wieghts by saying "you must not be in the red. If you want you can be teracota - but not red". After that she says "This is your last appointment" along with "Save yourself" thus scaring the supposed victim away.
  • Ignatius, an overweight male Nigerian, who works as a driving instructor for the Nigerian School of Motoring, and also works as a taxi driver, using the same car. He doesn't have a UK driving licence, as can probably be gathered from his dangerous high-speed driving and his extensive usage of obscenities.
  • Helen, a woman who at the least convenient time scratches the lower half of her body on the floor, stating that she has worms.
  • Gladys Kingston, a 40 year old Jamaican woman who is portrayed to fit the Jamaican stereotype, speaking to and cussing people in Patois. She has a strong hate of males, including her nephew, after her husband left her for a younger woman. She later gets a job as a lolipop lady after refusing a job that involved the interaction with males.
  • Sharonisha, a north London schoolgirl with attitude that is always seen on a bus with one or more friends, making a lot of noise and annoying the other passengers. Sketches involving Sharonisha often parody the fact that the names of many Jamaican people end with the letter "a".
  • Justine, a woman that when asked for something that requires that she gives a verbal response, yawns while replying, and when finished expects that the person understood what was said.
  • Sheson, a bus driver that speaks with a Cockney/Nigerian accent. She sings when driving; strongly enforces the rule that says passengers mustn't speak to the driver while the bus is in motion; and refuses to help passengers, often saying that she isn't an A to Z. She says she's lived in London for a year, and that she learnt English at a pub. She often sings christain songs while driving the bus. "In the name of jesus" is what she often sings at the beginning of the sketch. In one episode, she tells some male passengers to move away from her saying, "Eh are you a parrot? Am i long John Silver?!"
  • Shirley, a woman that always appears with the same two friends, always engaged in conversation. She says that she was about to say something, but that she has forgotten what it was. While trying to remember what it was, she asks her two friends to repeat the conversation that previously happened, repeating the phrase "back back back back". While trying to remember what she's forgotten, she'll often remember other things that one of her two friends said, sometimes something embarrasing about the other person. She eventually says that she remembers what she wanted to say, often something major, such as one of her friends leaving her car keys in the ignition; and then says that this isn't what she meant to say, again asking her friends to repeat past conversation.
  • The New Parents New parents who have a small baby, the mother (Jocelyn) often makes remarks about the baby saying that she 'bites' or 'screams' an abnormal amount. The father doesn't believe this claims until he sees them first hand, e.g havinghisfinger bitten off or seeing the windows smashed by the baby's screaming. The baby also reveals that he isn't her real dad, that 'Uncle Tony is'. At the end of every sketch the mother says, 'See..I'm calling my Mum...that ain't right!'
  • Lillian is a hairdresser whose hair salon is across the street from another hairdresser's salon. The two hairdressers are in direct competition with each other, and one often visits the other to start a fight. Their fights end in the style of a Western, and they use their customers' newly done over-the-top hairstyles as their guns. After unveiling the hairstyles, Lillian always wins, and the other hairdresser(known as Claudette) reacts as though she has been shot with a gun bullet, choking and passing out.
  • Shop Assistant, a woman who works in a clothes shop. She considers folding clothes a priority over helping customers, and thus is very unhelpful to customers, repeating what they are saying over them and relaying things that are said to other people that are already involved in the conversation. This often gets more complicated as more customers and staff arrive on the scene, including the manager, who does the same thing.
  • Toilet Attendant, a toilet attendant that works in a womans' toilet. When people leave a toilet cubicle, the attendant will ask what they did, usually first with numbers and then explanations for each one, ie #1 (urination), #2 (defecation), #3 (vomiting), #4 (sexual intercourse), #5 (menstruation). The attendant tries to get the toilet user to buy something for her, and will often make ridiculous requests for £1 GBP. The person will often leave the toilets in disgust, and the attendant goes to the door asking if they want a lollipop, food or Nigerian movies.
  • Deborah, a feral hairdresser, unrelated to Lillian, who is kept on a chain and is isolated from society by her twin sister, who is also a hairdresser. Before being let out of the cupboard or van that she is locked in, she needs to be given something that carries the scent of her next client. Once let out, her sister insists that she must cut something. Though her technique looks wild and sloppy, the end result looks professional. When finished, Deborah "marks her client" by rubbing herself against them, possibly in an attempt to arouse herself. She is then pulled back into the van or cupboard by her sister; but in the final episode, she gnawed through the chain, apparently not for the first time, and was able to run around London by herself, where she was in a scene that involved the general public.
  • WPc Lisa Rogers, a police constable that sits in on interrogations conducted by her superior officer. When the superior finds it difficult to understand what the person is saying, Lisa will volunteer to translate, saying she speaks fluent "street". When told at the end of the interrogation to tell the person to stay out of trouble, Lisa will physically attack the person, saying it is the only way they would understand it.
  • Customs Officer A customs officer that works at London City Airport.When she stops people to have a look at what is in their luggage she will ask the person if they have anything edible in their luggage.When asked a question herself, she replies "I won't be questioned".Before she eats anything in the bag she asks him/her if they have a licence for certain things.Then she munches her way in the bag, before asking that person to leave.
  • Jamaican woman An elderly jamaican woman whom asks passing mothers to show her their baby in a pram. The woman's politeness then disappears when she describes the baby as ugly or compliments something else at last minute.One woman seems to call her Auntie Hortense, suggesting her name is Hortense.
  • Julia, who in each sketch tries to avoid a difficult social situation but just as someone has convinced her not to worry about it, she ruins the moment by attacking the person she was supposed to talk to (such as biting her new boss on the nose, or licking a recently bereaved friend's face) and then saying "Sorry, I just couldn't stop myself."
  • Salon Customer, a woman who screams obscenities while having her bikini line waxed. When the worried beautician asks if she'd like some pain relief, the customer says she's "fine" and it "didn't hurt at all", then continues to shout and swear during the procedure. In one sketch, the customer asks for an all - over wax because she's found a "new way" to deal with the pain - then instead of shouting, punches the beautician in the face, knocking her out.

[edit] External links

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