List of The Simpsons chalkboard gags

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The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.

Contents

[edit] Season 1

Episode Number Airdate Production Code Gag
1 December 17, 1989 7G08 no gag
2 January 14, 1990 7G02 I will not waste chalk
3 January 21, 1990 7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls
4 January 28, 1990 7G04 I will not burp in class
5 February 4, 1990 7G05 no gag
6 February 11, 1990 7G06 I will not instigate revolution
7 February 18, 1990 7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class
8 February 25, 1990 7G07 I did not see Elvis
9 March 18, 1990 7G11 no gag
10 March 25, 1990 7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
11 April 15, 1990 7G13 Garlic gum is not funny
12 April 29, 1990 7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me
13 May 13, 1990 7G01 I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom (a reference to shouting fire in a crowded theater)

[edit] Season 2

Episode Number Airdate Production Code Gag
14 October 11, 1990 7F03 I will not encourage others to fly (And during the episode: I will not fake my way through life)
15 October 18, 1990 7F02 Tar is not a plaything
16 October 25, 1990 7F04 no gag
17 November 1, 1990 7F01 I will not Xerox my butt
18 November 8, 1990 7F05 I will not trade pants with others
19 November 15, 1990 7F08 I am not a 32 year old woman (though at the time, the voice of Bart, Nancy Cartwright was)
20 November 22, 1990 7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue
21 December 6, 1990 7F06 I will not drive the principal's car
22 December 20, 1990 7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
23 January 10, 1991 7F10 I will not sell school property
24 January 24, 1991 7F11 I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)
25 January 31, 1991 7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude
26 February 7, 1991 7F13 I will not make flatulent noises in class
27 February 14, 1991 7F15 I will not belch the national anthem
28 February 21, 1991 7F16 I will not sell land in Florida
29 March 7, 1991 7F14 I will not sell school property
30 March 28, 1991 7F17 I will not grease the monkey bars
31 April 11, 1991 7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
32 April 25, 1991 7F19 no gag
33 May 2, 1991 7F20 I will not do anything bad again
34 May 9, 1991 7F21 I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.)
35 July 11, 1991 7F22 I will not sleep through my education

[edit] Season 3

Episode Number Airdate Production Code Gag
36 September 19, 1991 7F24 I am not a dentist
37 September 26, 1991 8F01 Spitwads are not free speech
38 October 3, 1991 7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers
39 October 10, 1991 8F03 High explosives and school don't mix (And during the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner)
40 October 17, 1991 8F04 I will not squeak chalk (Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)
41 October 24, 1991 8F05 I will finish what I sta (written only once)
42 October 31, 1991 8F02 no gag
43 November 7, 1991 8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
44 November 14, 1991 8F07 I will not fake rabies
45 November 21, 1991 8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside
46 December 5, 1991 8F09 The Christmas pageant does not stink
47 December 26, 1991 8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail
48 January 9, 1992 8F11 I will not carve gods
49 January 23, 1992 8F12 no gag
50 February 6, 1992 8F14 I will not spank others
51 February 13, 1992 8F16 no gag
52 February 20, 1992 8F13 I will not aim for the head (In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a "softball", actually baseball, game.)
53 February 27, 1992 8F15 I will not barf unless I'm sick (And during the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty)
54 March 12, 1992 8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
55 March 26, 1992 8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills
56 April 9, 1992 8F20 Funny noises are not funny
57 April 23, 1992 8F21 I will not spin the turtle
58 May 7, 1992 8F22 I will not snap bras
59 August 27, 1992 8F23 I will not fake seizures

[edit] Season 4

Episode Number Airdate Production Code Gag
60 September 24, 1992 8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless
61 October 01, 1992 8F18 My name is not "Dr. Death"
62 October 08, 1992 9F01 I will not defame New Orleans (This was due to complaints regarding the previous episode's song about New Orleans.)
63 October 15, 1992 9F02 I will not prescribe medication
64 October 29, 1992 9F04 no gag
65 November 03, 1992 9F03 I will not bury the new kid
66 November 05, 1992 9F05 I will not teach others to fly
67 November 12, 1992 9F06 I will not bring sheep to class
68 November 19, 1992 9F07 A burp is not an answer
69 December 03, 1992 9F08 Teacher is not a leper
70 December 17, 1992 9F09 Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.)
71 January 14, 1993 9F10 I will not eat things for money
72 January 21, 1993 9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
73 February 04, 1993 9F12 The principal's toupée is not a frisbee
74 February 11, 1993 9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head"
75 February 18, 1993 9F14 Goldfish don't bounce
76 March 11, 1993 9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
77 April 01, 1993 9F17 No one is interested in my underpants
78 April 15, 1993 9F16 I will not sell miracle cures
79 April 29, 1993 9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog
80 May 06, 1993 9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity
81 May 13, 1993 9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom

[edit] Season 5

Episode Number Airdate Production Code Gag
82 September 30, 1993 9F21 I will never win an Emmy (Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date)
83 October 07, 1993 9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
84 October 14, 1993 1F02 no gag
85 October 21, 1993 1F01 no gag
86 October 28, 1993 1F04 no gag
87 November 04, 1993 1F03 no gag
88 November 11, 1993 1F05 no gag
89 November 18, 1993 1F06 no gag
90 December 09, 1993 1F07 All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (A reference to the saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" from the movie "the Shining")
91 December 16, 1993 1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
92 January 06, 1994 1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
93 February 03, 1994 1F11 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
94 February 10, 1994 1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
95 February 17, 1994 1F12 no gag
96 February 24, 1994 1F13 no gag
97 March 17, 1994 1F14 I am not delightfully saucy
98 March 31, 1994 1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
99 April 14, 1994 1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
100 April 28, 1994 1F18 I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (100th episode)
101 May 05, 1994 1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business
102 May 12, 1994 1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
103 May 19, 1994 1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

[edit] Season 6

[edit] Season 7

[edit] Season 8

[edit] Season 9

[edit] Season 10

[edit] Season 11

[edit] Season 12

[edit] Season 13

[edit] Season 14

[edit] Season 15

[edit] Season 16

[edit] Season 17

[edit] Season 18

[edit] References

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