List of QI episodes

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This is a list of episodes of QI, the BBC comedy panel game television show hosted by Stephen Fry.

The first series started on 11 September 2003. Although most viewers did not notice at the time, all of the questions (with the exception of the final "general ignorance" round) were on subjects beginning with "a" (such as "arthropods", "Alans" and "astronomy"). A second series of 12 programmes started on 8 October 2004, with subjects beginning with the letter 'B' (except in two special episodes, one about music and one about colour). The C series started on 30 September 2005 and the D series started on 29 September 2006.

The dates in the lists are those of the BBC Two broadcasts. The episodes were also broadcast on BBC Four, generally a week earlier (as soon as one episode finished on BBC Two, the next was shown on BBC Four). Aside from Alan Davies, there are five guests that have appeared ten or more episodes (out of 48), they are Jo Brand (14), Rich Hall (14), Phill Jupitus (12), Bill Bailey (11), and Sean Lock (10). In total there have been 47 different guest panellists in the three series to date.

Disclaimer: Some facts stated during the series have since been found to be incorrect, in some cases due to a mistake and others by becoming outdated. Where possible these entries have been highlighted.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details about the points scored by the participants follow.

Contents

[edit] A series (2003)

[edit] Episode 1

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Sheep are castrated without breaking the skin.
Tangent: Discussion of Prince Albert's libido and the Prince Albert piercing.
  • Finocchio (fennel) is Italian street slang for a homosexual.
  • Andrew Marshall's writings on Burma in The Trouser People describe Burmese idioms and quote from the diary of Victorian adventurer Sir George Scott.
  • Edward Woodward has four 'd's in his name to prevent it becoming 'Ewar Woowar'.
Tangent: Kiwi fruit use up more than their own weight in aviation fuel getting from New Zealand to Europe.
  • Actor John Barrymore regretted not being able to see himself perform on stage.
Tangent: A drunken Peter O'Toole once went to see a play, having forgotten that he was supposed to be in it.
Tangent: The average graphite pencil can write for thirty-five miles.
General ignorance
  • The country with the highest suicide rate is Lithuania. (Forfeit: Sweden)
Tangent: A ship's captain cannot marry people, and lemmings do not jump over cliffs: both are urban myths concocted by the film industry.
Tangent: The Romans believed that buggery caused earthquakes.
  • The twenty-third tallest tree in the world is a Giant sequoia called 'Adam'.

[edit] Episode 2

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Claims that Ikea stores have no windows to decrease customers' awareness of the passage of time.
Tangent: William James' exchange with a woman who believed the Earth was balanced on top of a giant turtle.
General ignorance
  • Krung Thep is the proper name for the capital of Thailand. (Forfeit: The capital of Thailand is Bangkok)
  • Brides do not walk down the aisle of a church; they walk down the central passageway.
  • The earliest known soup is made from hippopotamus.
  • The Great Wall of China cannot be seen from the Moon, nor can any man-made object. Even the Earth's continents are difficult to make out from the Moon.

Fry ends the show with an anecdote about the Stephens Island Wren, about the lighthouse keepers' cat killing the entire species. However, in 2004, the same year this episode was first aired, this was found to be untrue.

[edit] Episode 3

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Baron Mackay of Clashfern and his apparent meanness with honey.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 4

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Charles Dickens despised Chelmsford, describing it as "the dullest and most stupid spot on the face of the Earth." He also invented the word 'boredom'.
General ignorance
  • King Henry VIII technically had either three or four wives, depending on the source. His marriage to Anne of Cleves was annulled, the Pope declared his marriage with Anne Boleyn to be void as he was still married to Catherine of Aragon, and the marriage to Catherine of Aragon was declared void by Henry himself as it was illegal to marry the widow of one's brother (Catherine had previously been married to Henry's older brother Arthur). After his death, the king's body swelled in the heat and exploded. (Forfeit: Henry VIII had six wives)
Hans Holbein the Younger painted various royal portraits. His painting 'The Ambassadors' contains the image of a human skull, which can only be seen properly when viewed from an angle.
  • The world silver rhymes with 'chilver'. (Forfeit: Nothing rhymes with silver)
  • All diamonds are created beneath the Earth's surface, and brought to the surface in volcanoes. Diamonds and graphite are both made of pure carbon, but appear at opposite ends of the Mohs scale of mineral hardness. (Forfeit: All diamonds are from South Africa)
  • When travelling through sodium at -270 degrees, light slows to 38 miles per hour. The speed of light is only constant in a vacuum.
  • A chameleon changes colour depending on its mood. Their eyes can swivel independently, and it was once believed that they lived on air. (Forfeit: A chameleon changes colour to match its environment)

[edit] Episode 5

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Strand cigarettes' "You're never alone with a Strand" advertising campaign was a spectacular failure. Queen Victoria smoked when in Scotland, in order to keep the midges away.
Tangent: The chief architect of the London Eye shares a birthday with Gustave Eiffel.
  • The Toyota MR2 provoked muck amusement in France, as "MR2" sounds like merde. The Ford Pinto is equally amusing to Brazilians, as "pinto" is Brazilian slang for a small penis.
  • Playwright Brendan Behan was asked to devise an advertising slogan for Guinness. He came up with "Guinness makes you drunk." (Forfeit: "Guinness is good for you"—actually written by Dorothy L. Sayers)
Tangent: Alec Guinness allegedy predicted James Dean's death.
Tangent: Subbuteo was named after the Latin word for 'hobby'.
Tangent: Discussion of the (legendary) Pope Joan.
Tangent: Michael Portillo's exploits as a young Conservative candidate.
General ignorance
  • A centipede has between 30 and 382 legs. None has ever been found with 100 legs.
  • In 1994, 35,000 Americans insured themselves against alien abduction.
  • Purple rhymes with 'hirple' and 'curple'. (Forfeit: Nothing rhymes with purple)

[edit] Episode 6

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
  • Physicist Niels Bohr hung a horseshoe on his wall as "I understand it brings you luck whether you believe in it or not".
Tangent: Edith Evans purchased a painting by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, and hung it low down behind a curtain simply because "there was a hook" there.
Tangent: Discussion of the Schrödinger's cat problem.
  • Barbara Cartland, when asked whether British class barriers had broken down, replied "Of course they have, or I wouldn't be sitting here talking to someone like you". She also invented the aeroplane-towed glider.
  • When asked if he forgave his enemies, the dying Spanish Captain-General Ramon Blanco y Erenas said "I have no enemies, I've had them all shot".
  • Pliny the Elder:
    • believed that epilepsy could be cured by eating the heart of a black jackass, outside on the second day of the moon. Alternatively, lightly poached bear testes, a dried camel brain with honey, or gladiator blood.
    • suggested incontinence could be cured by touching the tips of the genitals with linen or papyrus. Alternatively, drinking a glass of wine mixed with the ash of a pig's penis, then urinating in your (or your neighbour's) dog's bed.
    • also suggested haemorrhoids could be cured with a cream made with pig lard and the rust from chariot wheels. Alternatively, swan's fat or the urine of a female goat.
    • thought that headaches were supposedly cured by a fox's genitals tied to the forehead.
    Tangent: British bees died out after World War I – new bees were introduced from Mexico.
    • claimed that choking on a piece of bread could be cured by placing pieces of the same loaf in the ears.
    • died investigating the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.
  • Twenty four people every year are murdered by the Swiss Army, due to the relatively free availability of handguns.
  • During the Vietnam War, the US Military prevented wounded soldiers from swallowing their tongues by pinning the tongue to the cheek. More soldiers committed suicide after Vietnam than died in combat.
  • Costa Rica has no army: it was disbanded in 1949. The constitution now specifically forbids the country from having an army.
  • Alsatians are forbidden from serving in the Spanish Army, as they have an IQ of 60: an IQ of 70 is the minimum required.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 7

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
  • Discovery of Australia by the Chinese (forfeit: James Cook)
  • Aborigines - the term comes from the Latin meaning "from the origin" and was first used to describe a pre-Roman people
Tangents: the scrotum and sperm
Tangents: stupid answers given in trivia games
General Ignorance

[edit] Episode 8 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 9

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Syllogisms, Queen Elizabeth and Kylie Minogue; the bongo-player of T. Rex was Steve Peregrin Took; Marc Bolan was dyslexic but obsessed with The Lord of the Rings novels
Tangent: the common cold
General ignorance
  • The first King of England was Athelstan from 924 to 939
  • Aristotle claimed that hedgehogs had sexual intercourse face-to-face (forfeit: carefully)
  • The most dangerous creature in history is the mosquito, having killed half of the people on Earth
  • The lords of shouting are angels that sing to God every morning, according to the Jewish faith
  • Samson's hair was cut off by a servant of Delilah and not Delilah herself

[edit] Episode 10 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 11 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 12 – Christmas special

Broadcast date
Panellists
Theme
  • The general theme of all the questions was Christmas, with the panellists asked to draw a Christmas tree. Alan Davies drew a traditional childlike portrayal of a Christmas tree – a triangular style tree showing (incorrectly) that the branches point downwards.
Topics
  • A gripple is a gripping device made in Sheffield. Thousands of gripples hold together the Dingo Fence, the worlds longest fence.
  • One of the first domesticated animal was the reindeer.
  • Another common name for a reindeer (in North America) is caribou.
  • Santa's reindeers must be either female or castrated – male reindeer lose their antlers during winter.
  • In "days of yore" Yorkshiremen would gather around their beehives during Christmas because they believed that the bees would start humming at midnight (the time of Christ's birth), even when the calendars changed.
  • Mince pies were banned by Oliver Cromwell because they symbolised Catholicism.
  • From 1814 to the start of World War I, the German village of Lauscha in Thuringia provided the world with baubles, with 90% of US houses.
  • The 1908 ban of candles on Christmas trees.
Tangent: Insurance companies and their avoidance of paying out
  • During the 1870 siege of Paris by the Prussians the Parisians ran out of food and so one restaurant used rats in their cooking.
General ignorance

[edit] B series (2004)

[edit] Episode 1

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: the difference between bugs and beetles is that bugs have sucking mandibles
  • There are around 2000 coleopterists in the world, and 10 million different species of beetle – around two thirds of all insects are beetles
General ignorance
Tangent: Stephen Fry's school's tailor, who was named Gorringe
  • What colour is Mars? (forfeit: "red")
    • Brown
    • Recent NASA images were tweaked using filters to make it appear red
  • What prevented Henry the 8th from marrying Lord Pembroke? (forfeit: "gay marriages were illegal")
  • There are no green mammals
  • In ancient Greece dildos were made from bread

[edit] Episode 2 "Birds"

Broadcast date
Panellists
Task
  • At the start the panel were asked to draw a kiwi, paying particular attention to the position of the nostrils. Alan correctly drew its nostrils at the end of the beak.
Topics
Tangent: Johnny Cash was attacked ferociously by an ostrich.
  • The tongue of a woodpecker can extend to 2/3rds of its body-length, and has an ear at the end of it.
  • Since they have only 20-30 taste-buds, birds can't distinguish the taste of chocolate, which is toxic to them anyway.
Tangent: The lethal dose of chocolate for a human is about 22lbs
Tangent: Fry once kicked a hamster-ball through a friend's window. The rodent survived.
  • Skin, the largest organ in the body, weighs 6lbs and covers 18 square feet on average. A person will get through around 900 'skins' in a lifetime. (Forfeit: Speak for yourself.)
  • Sperm can 'smell' the aroma of lily of the valley.
  • Chang and Eng Bunker were siamese twins. Chang was once convicted of general assault on a member of the audience during one of the twins' variety acts. However, the judge in the case could not hold Eng in prison as well, so he set them both free.
General ignorance
  • The loudest thing in the ocean is a "shrimp layer" (Forfeit: Blue Whale)
  • Statistically in the UK, one is more likely to be killed by an asteroid than by lightning.
  • Camels originated from the continent of America, 20 million years ago. (Forfeits: Asia, Africa)
  • Despite being pink, the Flamingo eats blue-green algae. (Forfeit: shrimp)

[edit] Episode 3

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
  • In World War II the American forces planned to equip Mexican free-tail bats with napalm-filled 'waistcoats' so they could blow up Japanese towns. In testing, however, the wind changed and the bats instead flamed a US army base.
  • Zeppo Marx contributed to the design of release clamps used to hold the Hiroshima bomb inside the Enola Gay
  • Russian forces trained dogs with bombs attached to hide under tanks in order to blow them up.
  • The first postcard sent from Antarctica featured a penguin being serenaded by a bagpiper.
Tangent: 50% of bagpipers suffer from RSI
  • The common name for Ursus arctos is grizzly bear. (Forfeit: Polar bear)
Tangent: Arctos is from the ancient Greek word for bear. The Arctic region gets its name from the constellations of the Great Bear and Little Bear.
  • Polar bears do not disguise themselves by covering their noses!
General Ignorance
Tangent: Hawaii is the only state not to have a straight line along one of its borders.
  • During World War II, the only six Americans to lose their lives on home soil did so on a church picnic in Bly, Oregon. They were killed by Japanese fugos - balloon bombs.
Tangent: Not to be confsued with the Fugu fish.
Tangent: 800 Americans die in a McDonald's every year.
Tangent: Polar bears and penguins never meet in the wild.

[edit] Episode 4

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: There are 280,000 heroin addicts in Britain, 10,000 practising Druids and 50,000 practitioners of alternative medicine.
Tangent: The rulebook for Dutch prostitutes is about an inch thick.
  • A Birmingham screwdriver is slang for a hammer. (Forfeit: a drink)
  • The kingdom of Bhutan, having no television or cars, has the least use for Jeremy Clarkson.
Tangent: India has no speed limits, and every car bought there will be involved in a fatal road accident within 5 years.
Tangent: Britain and Finland are the only two democracies to have declared war on each other.
General ignorance
  • The English Civil War resulted in the highest proportion of British soldiers dying (85,000 on the battlefield, another 100,000 of wounds subsequently - 10% of the adult population)
Tangent: 90% of British people cannot name a battle in the English Civil War, 80% do not know which English king was executed by Parliament, and 67% of schoolchildren have never heard of Oliver Cromwell.
  • Less than 0.02% of the Earth is water. (Forfeit: two-thirds)
  • Andy Warhol always wore green underwear.
  • Robert Burns never wore a kilt, since kilt-wearing was illegal at the time.

[edit] Episode 5

Broadcast date
Panellists
Tasks
  • The panel's "QI Brainteaser" was to make interesting phrases from a collection of fridge-magnet letters. Answers included:
    • QI Is A Queer Idea (Stephen)
    • Quim (Jo)
    • Vagina Doom (Alan)
    • Fox (Alan)
    • I Love A Fryup (Jo)
    • Frodo Lap Shame (Bill)
    • Sit Look Rub Panda (Alan)
    • Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs Make Them Walk Like A Robot (Jimmy)
    • Gay Elf Romp (Bill)
    • Tiberius Can Look Mad (Alan)
    • Oh Bum (Jo)
Topics
  • Koalas make a kind of soup from their faeces for their young.
Tangent: Wombats have cubical faeces.
  • Bears do not defaecate anywhere in the winter, since it's during hibernation (Forfeit: In the woods)
  • Toothpaste makes bears go crazy with desire
  • The animal with huge teeth and only one facial expression is the Giant Panda. (Forfeit: Janet Street-Porter)
Tangent: A panda's penis points backwards
  • Bamboo has a tensile strength greater than steel and can grow up to 4 foot a day. It is also a grass.
  • Thomas Edison believed that 15 tiny people lived within the human mind. He did not invent the light bulb, although one of his letters contains the first written reference of the word hello.
Tangent: Due to government regulations, Stephen Fry will probably be the last official pipe-smoker of the year.
General Ignorance

[edit] Episode 6

Broadcast date
Panellists
Topics
  • The Pope could eat beaver on a Friday as it is designated as a fish
Tangent:Beavers excrete castorium, which is used to make aspirin
  • If aliens were looking to abduct Earth's most successful inhabitants, they would look to bacteria. There are 40,000 species in a gram of soil
Tangent: There is a named phoebia of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth (Arachibutyrophobia)
Tangent: Every phobia has an opposite philia (a love of something, e.g. arachnophilia is the love of spiders)
  • Bulges: In the Battle of the Bulge, the 'stomach division' were the soldiers with illnesses not deemed severe enough to prevent them fighting in battle
Tangent: German for diarrhoea = Durchfall literally "through fall"
Tangent: At one Paralympics the Spanish national basketball team pretended to be mentally ill so they could compete. They won the gold medal.
  • The Earth bulges by up to 20cm twice a day.
Tangent: To explain to Alan how the Moon causes the tides
General ignorance
  • The Earth has either 1 or 5 moons. (Forfeit: Two) Since the discovery of Cruithne in 1997, three more 'moons' have been discovered: (54509) 2000 PH5, (85770) 1998 UP1 and 2002 AA29. (If Cruithne is classed as a moon, then so must the others. Otherwise, Earth only has one moon.)
Tangent: No evidence of lunacy being related to the full Moon
  • Since 2003, only 11 points are required to win at table tennis. (Forfeit: 21 points)
  • Also in 2003, the regulation size of a table tennis ball was increased to make it slower and easier to watch on television
  • A kangaroo has three vaginas, but only two wombs.
Tangent:The clitoris is the only organ designed purely for pleasure
Tangent: Roman statues' eyes are blank because they were later painted
Tangent: Most common death row prisoner's last meal : Cheeseburger, Fries and Coke (A Happy Meal)
  • There are no offence for which you can be put to death in the UK. (Forfeits: Arson in the royal dockyards, treason)
  • Dead bodies are eaten by bacteria. (Forfeit: Worms)

[edit] Episode 7 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists
  • Alan Davies
  • Rich Hall 6th appearance
  • Dara Ó Briain 1st appearance (winner - however, second on appearance discovered that he should not have won, and as a forfeit had points deducted from his score on the second show to make up for his win on this show)
  • Arthur Smith 1st appearance

[edit] Episode 8 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 9

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Leopards take their dead prey up a tree and leave it for days, often returning and eating the rotting animal carcass
  • Butterflies are an evolution from moths – they came out during the daytime to avoid being eaten by bats (see also difference between a butterfly and a moth)
  • Bats use sonar, shown in an experiment using bells: a pitch black room with bells hung from the ceiling and bats flying around created no noise, but owls did run into the bells.
  • Batology is the study of brambles and blackberries, chiroptology is the study of bats
  • Batophobia is the fear of being close to tall buildings
  • Battology means pointlessly repeating the same thing over again
  • In Sweden on 1 January 1994 there was the same number of 8 year old girls (112,521) as there were 9 year old girls on 1 January 1995, with no migration or death
  • The biggest tourist attraction in Canada between 1934 and 1943 was the Dionne quintuplets. (Forfeit: Niagara Falls)
  • The first recorded Olympic Games in 776 BC did not include discus, javelin, the hammer throw or the 200m (all forfeits) – the only event was the 192m (600 ft) sprint, which was won by Koroibos
  • The length of the marathon (26 miles) was dictated by the one run at 1908 Olympic Games
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 10 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 11 (incomplete)

Broadcast date
Panellists

[edit] Episode 12 – Christmas special

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: Health & Safety will not allow a demonstration
Tangent: Aristotle believed that having sex while facing northwards led to stronger and healthier babies
  • People who smoke shorten their life expectancy by 5 years, while cutting off the testicles adds 13 years
  • Barbers did castrations as the practice was illegal – they explained it as an accident; castratos are people that sing in a high pitch because they have been castrated
  • There were no animals present at birth of Jesus
  • The bible does not state that there were three magi (or kings), nor that they were wise or even male; it just said that there were three gifts
Tangent: Fry talks about his interview with the president of Uganda (and David Frost)
  • The name of Herod's wife was Doris
  • In the Middle Ages the church simultaneously recognised seven different heads said to have been that of Saint Anne (Jesus' grandmother)
  • Water bears can die and come back to life after three days of being dead
Tangent: what special powers would panellist have?
  • The coldest place in the universe is in Louisiana – scientists took the temperature down to a fraction above absolute zero
General ignorance
Davies and Fry change place, Davies asks the questions
  • "Who plays in goal for Aston Villa?"
  • Mozart's middle name was not Amadeus (Fry receives the forfeit) – it was Wolfgang
  • There are six different states of matter (Fry's forfeit: Four)
  • In the southern hemisphere water drains in whichever direction you choose
  • Penguins do not, as often humorously depicted, fall backwards as they watch jets pass (Fry's forfeit)
  • The cow is not a sacred animal in India

[edit] C series (2005)

[edit] Episode 1

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Topics
Tangent: The gray squirrel has not made its way to the Isle of Wight
General ignorance
  • Taffy Pull (forfeit: Welsh chat-up line) – a form of toffee
Tangent: Salt water taffy isn't actually made from salt water

[edit] Episode 2

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • Opera - a 50 point bonus was offered to any contestant who could break a wine glass using only the power of their voice. It is almost impossible to achieve.
Topics
  • Doon swam the channel in 1998; Captain Webb was the first man to do so in 1875, smothered in goose-fat in order to insulate himself.
Tangent: Captain Webb died in 1883 attempting to swim across the river at the foot of the Niagara Falls
Tangent: Fry's various anecdotes on the Scottish accent
  • Ordeal by bean is an (outlawed) Nigerian tribal custom whereby accused individuals are forced to eat a lethal strain of bean.(Forfeit: anything to do with Mr Bean)
  • Big Beard Wang was the name of the hairdresser to Chairman Mao (Mao in Chinese meaning cat)
  • According to one survey, the age people would most like to be is 17. From a man's point of view, a woman's perfect age is said to be half his own plus seven.
General ignorance
  • A platypus, technically speaking, is a genus of beetle, not to be confused with a duck-billed platypus. The latter has no nipples, but instead sweats milk.
  • A dialogue does not require only 2 people to take part.
  • The Queen's handbag contains some money, a comb, a handkerchief, a small gold compact and some lipstick.

[edit] Episode 3

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • "Common knowledge"
Topics
  • The commonest bird in the world is the domesticated chicken.
Tangent: according to the Kinsey report, 1 out of 6 men in Iowa has had sex with a chicken.
  • John Napier, inventor of the decimal point, kept a black cockerel which he used as a ploy to catch a thieving servant.
  • A chevin, or chavender, is a type of carp (forfeit: a chav called Kevin; a chav in Eastenders).
  • Fry stated that marsupials are not mammals, however this is incorrect.
  • The fingerprints of a koala are indistinguishable from those of a human.
  • 'Dermatoglyphics' and 'uncopyrightable' are the longest words in English language with no repetition of a letter.
Tangent: The Finnish word saippuakuppinippukauppias is one of the longest palindromes in the world.
  • The commonest metal in the human body is calcium ("Genius" award - 100 points). (Forfeit: iron, mercury).
Tangent: Rory's knowledge of all the atomic numbers.
General ignorance
Tangent: Rory and Stephen discuss Latin bird names.
  • The Queen's corgis are of the Pembroke variety, not the Cardigan.
  • Tweed used to be fixed with stale urine.
  • Mr Chicken was the last private resident of 10 Downing Street.

[edit] Episode 4

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Tasks
  • The panelists were asked to keep their own scores. An extra 100 points would be awarded for any contestant who recorded their score absolutely accurately.
Topics
  • Cheating - the 'winner' of the marathon at the 1904 Olympics, Frederick Lorz, went most of the way by car. Fourth place was awarded to a Cuban postman named Felix Carvajal, despite falling ill to apples he ate from an orchard en route. Len Tau, one of the first black African competitors in the Olympic Games, finished 9th despite being chased a mile or so off course by a large dog.
Tangent: George Eyser won six gymnastic medals at the 1904 games despite his left leg being made of wood.
Tangent: Cricket at the 1900 Summer Olympics
  • Many riders competing in the 1904 Tour de France were disqualified because of receiving illegal tows from motor vehicles during night races. Maurice Garin was disqualified for taking a train through part of the route.
  • Challenger, Tornado, Typhoon, Mustang, Hurricane, Starquest, Buccaneer, Jetstream, Superstorm, and Cobra are all makes of caravan. (Forfeit: tanks, jet-fighters, helicopters).
  • Patriot, Gladiator, Dagger, Javelin, Archer, Arrow, White King, Excalibur and Merlin are all variants of parsnip. (Forfeit: missiles).
Tangent: Boris Pasternak's surname means parsnip in Russian.
  • The first creature to be sent into space was a fruitfly. (Forfeit: monkey, dog).
Tangent: 65% of diseases found in humans are paralleled in the fruitfly.
  • The fruitfly has the largest sperm of any organism, with an uncoiled size of around 20 times its own length (5.8cm).
Tangent: The sperm is the smallest cell in the human body, and the ovum is the largest.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 5

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Topics
  • Women have been shown to be able to "smell fear". Animals can smell the fear of each other but not of another species.
  • "Cats-eyes" Cunningham shot down the very first plane by night in 1940 because he had airborne radar. (Forfeit: carrots).
Tangent: the tiny carrot museum in Berlotte, Belgium. [1]
Tangent: why children aged around 2 go off vegetables.
  • The curious sounds that can be heard in the desert.
Tangent: there are more molecules in a glass of water than there are grains of sand in the entire world.
Tangent: Stephen gave Prince Charles for his wedding present coffee made from Cambodian weasel vomit.
  • A centurion was in charge of around 83 men. (Forfeit: 100)
  • Nero never literally "fiddled while Rome burned". He blamed Christians for the great fire of Rome.
  • Elephants used to be caught by Ethiopian elephant catchers who would capture one, disable it and use it as a breeding animal. Methods used to frighten elephants included setting fire to oil-covered pigs and setting them at the elephants.
  • The memory of the goldfish has been shown to be far longer than the oft-believed three seconds.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 6

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
Topics
Tangent: the work "nylon" is not a combination of New York (ny) and London (lon), contrary to popular myth
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 7 (incomplete)

Broadcast dates
Panellists

[edit] Episode 8

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
Topics
Non sequitur: Stephen presents Alan with an Alan Potato Head
Tangent: MSG and umami
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 9

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • Animals/zoo
  • Difficult question bonus - one question is deemed "so impossible" that a correct answer would be rewarded with 200 points.
  • Spot the cuttlefish - concealed somewhere in the show there would be a cuttlefish or part of a cuttlefish.
Topics
This is also where part of the cuttlefish was hidden: Marie Curie's photo appeared on the screens in sepia tone, which was originally created using a pigment coming from cuttlefish. The Italian word for cuttlefish is sepia. However, this was not spotted by the panellists
General ignorance
Cuttlefish prize - Alan shouts out "cuttlefish" when the picture of Florence Nightingale appears in sepia tone
  • Most tigers in the world are in private hands in the United States (forfeit: asia, zoos)
  • Silly, Billy, Chilly, Pussy, Pissy, Corny, Punchy, Misery, Messy and Prat - French place names (forfeit: Dwarves)

[edit] Episode 10

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
Topics
Tangents around the table: one-leggedness
Luvvie Alarm: Stephen starts telling a story about his Champagne allergy at a party given by the Duke and Duchess of Westminster
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 11

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • Party/circus
  • One answer involved squirrels – if a panellist identified it correctly they would receive 50 points, with 10 points taken away for a miscall
Topics
Tangent by Clive Anderson: Woodland Trust
General ignorance
Tangent by Jo Brand: Croesus

[edit] Episode 12

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • One fact would be incorrect – the "doubt card" can be shown by any player when they think they have spotted it
Topics
Side swipe by Fry at the The Da Vinci Code
General ignorance
  • Balsa wood, one of the softest of woods, is not a softwood but Pine is
  • Contrary to popular belief if you cut an earthworm in two is does not become two living worms, it becomes two halves of a dead worm – the confusion is due to the length of their death throes.
  • The debunking of the theory that Americans spent millions developing the Space pen while the Russians relied upon pencils
  • Neil Armstrong and the Mr Gorski story – told as a fact but then shown to be fictional
  • The triple point of water is actually 0.01 degrees centigrade – a correction from a previous episode as pointed out by viewers. Apparently those viewers forgot to explain that "centigrade" had been thrown out back in 1948 (six years before the triple point was fixed at 0.01 °C) along with "centesimal" in favour of the third name in use then, "degrees Celsius".

[edit] D series (2006)

Spoiler warning: This section may contain details of episodes and/or events which have yet to be broadcast.

Series commences on 29 September 2006

[edit] Episode 1 "Danger"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • The panels buzzers sound like things which are dangerous. Alan's buzzer sounds like a mosquito.
Topics
  • Dangerous accidents
    • Odds of very unusual accidents, such as being burned alive whilst you sleep, death by tea cosy, and death whilst playing QI.
  • Dangerous jobs
Tangnet: Sean Lock was once arrested for knocking off a security guard's hat off.
  • Dangerous tactics
    • The most dangerous military stratagem was organised by King Gou Jian of Yue in 496 BC. Convicted criminals where in the front line of his army and were forced to cut of their own heads.
    • Decapitation - A story from the French Revolution says that two decapitated heads where put in the same basket, and one head bit the other so hard that they could not be seperated.
Tangent: If you cut off the legs of a duck, it can still swim.
  • Dangerous sports and activites
    • The most dangerous sport in the world is flying kites in Pakistan (the most dangerous country in the world) during Basant. You have to sever kite strings filled with glass and metal shards.
    • The biggest kite in the world weighs nearly a tonne, measures 40 feet by 36 feet, has to be flown by 50 people, and has 200 strings.
    • The most dangerous manager was Harry Colcord, manager of tightrope walker Charles Blondin.
    • The first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel was Annie Edson Taylor.
    • A pirate ship filled with animals was sent of Niagara Falls, only two geese lived. Two bears crawled out, and were shot.
    • The most dangerous sporting activity for women is cheerleading.
    • George W. Bush is the most famous cheerleader in America.
Tangent: You can get a detached retina from bungee jumping. If can also get detached breast tissue if you bungee jump naked.
Tangent: The Darwin Awards.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 2 "Discoveries"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • Nautical
  • Each contestant has an unusual patent
Topics
  • Raining at weekends
    • Babylonians first developed the seven day week
    • Industrial activities over the week cause a seven day dust cycle
  • The link between gelignite (invented by Alfred Nobel), saccharin, and the rings of Uranus. They were all serendipitous discoveries.
    • Caffeine, Silly putty, the post-it note, penicillin, and the Americas were also serendipitous discoveries.
  • Charles Darwin had Chagas disease, as do millions of South Americans. It was discovered by Carlos Chagas and is the only disease entirely described by one single researcher.
  • Darwin was seen as a poor student who couldn't spell. He was a member of the Cambridge society of Gluttons and ate animals such as the Brown Owl. Many zoologists participate in a Phyllum Feast on Darwins birthday (12 February) where they eat as many different species as possible.
Tangent: You drink the blood of the Cobra when eating its beating heart - a delicacy in China. Then eating ear wax.
  • William Dampier was the first Englishman to set foot in Australia and invented the "wind over current" map. His A New Voyage Around the World was carried around by sailors for 100 years. He influenced the books Robinson Crusoe and Gullivers Travels.
  • Jules Leotard's clothing invention, which he called the "maillot", was renamed after him when he died. He also invented the flying trapeze.
  • Kangaroos do not pass wind, possibly because of various forms of bacteria in their stomach.
General ignorance
  • Queen Victoria wore a bustle that played music to mask the sound of her flatulence.
  • One Brown Owl cannot make the "twit twoo" - the female goes "twit" and the male "twoo".
  • Fernville Lord Digby was the name of the Dulux dog

[edit] Episode 3 "Dogs"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • The buzzers sound like dogs barking. Alan's buzzer had a dog barking the tune to, "How Much is that Doggy in the Window?"

Topics:

  • Dogs are much more varied than cats, and more varied than any other species.
  • When mating, dogs start in the Doggy position, then they turn so their backsides face each other, with the penis locked inside the vagina. The panel tried to demonstrate their answers using toy dogs. Alan was given a Scottie in tartan and a large Old English sheepdog.
Tangent: Jeremy owns a labradoodle, the same kind of dog as Graham Norton. There is a type of dog called a Yorkiepoo, a cross between a Yorkshire terrier and a poodle.
Tangent: Sharks do not have to keep on moving in order to stay alive, though they do need water flowing through their gills.
Tangent: The German for "Dog" is "Hund" as in the English word "Hound." No-one knows where the word "Dog" comes from. "Dogger" is said to come from a Dutch word meaning "A type of ship."
Tangent: The area before Fisher is Dogger. Viking is always the first to be read out. Alan used to call the shipping forecast the "Chicken forecast" because that is what it sounded like when he was a kid.
Tangent: There is a sport called Canary Wrestling, similar to Sumo Wrestling.)
Tangent: La Palma has a volcano on it, which could cause a Tsunami that could wipe out the eastern American seaboard if it erupted.
  • There is a martial art called Dog Kung Fu, mainly practiced by women, and invented by a Chinese nun. It is so called because you fight on all-fours.
Tangent: "Karate" means "Empty hand" and "Judo" means "The gentle way".
Tangent: The first two planes shot down by Spitfires in World War Two where Hurricanes.
  • Dogfights first started in World War One, but when they first fought, they had no guns, so they threw bricks at each other.
Tangent: Jeremy's favorite VC winner was called Ferdinand West, a pilot from WWI. WWI pilots often had Diarrhoea because bearings where lubricated with caster oil.
General ignorance
  • Gorillas sleep in nests. The scientific name for Gorillas is Gorilla gorilla. This is known as a tautonym. The same is true if Bison and Iguana.
  • The scientific name for a rat is Rattus rattus.
  • The scientific name for a Golden Oriole is Oriolus Oriolus.
  • The scientific name for a swan is Cygnus cygnus.
  • The scientific name for a Manx shearwater is Puffinus puffinus. (Forefit: Puffin)

[edit] Episode 4 "Dictionaries"

Broadcast dates
Panellists

[edit] Episode 5 "Death" (Halloween Special)

Broadcast dates
Panellists

(Despite announcing the audience as the winner, Andy Parsons is the official winner, making this the fourth consecutive week that a panellist has won on his/her debut)

Theme
  • The chairman and all the panellists are dressed in black
  • There is a coffin in the centre of the set


[edit] Episode 6 "Drinking"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • There is a drinks rack behind Stephen Fry
  • Every panellist has a drink - Alan Davies has a martini, the other three have pints of lager
Topics
Tangent: Darts commentator Sid Waddell's odd quotes.
Tangent: Absinthe was banned in France in 1915 due to Wormwood being poisonous. It was relegalised in 1926 after they removed the wormwood. It has never been banned in Britain because it was never popular.
  • The Great Binge (1870-1914) is a period in history given by social historians, due to Absinthe in Europe and other dangerous drugs such as heroin being commercially available. Heroin is a brand name.
  • The vomit comet is used to train astronauts.
Tangent: The difference between weight and mass.
Tangnet: The great-great-grandson of Joseph Bazalgette, who created London's sewage system after the great stink, now runs Endemol.
Tangent: During World War II, Veronica Lake was forced to get her hair cut. She previously had her hair combed over one eye, and many women copied this style. However, the women then worked in munitions factories, and their hair got caught in the machinery.
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 7 "Differences"

Broadcast dates
Panellists

(The last question of the show was "What was Gandhi's first name?" Alan Davies answered "Randy", and as a result is docked 150 points. The final scores are then revealed almost immediately afterwards, and Alan is on -144 points, a record lowest score in the show's history. However, without the 150 point penalty from the earlier question, Alan would have won with 6 points. The correct answer was Mohandas Karamchand.)

[edit] Episode 8 "Descendants"

Special Children in Need episode

Broadcast dates
Panellists

(All scores in this game were multiplied by 1,000,000 as a generosity gesture from Stephen Fry, on account of it being for Children In Need. Therefore, the actual scores were -29, 3, 2, and 1.)

The show initially began with Pudsey Bear, the Children in Need mascot, in the place of Alan Davies, but Pudsey was replaced after all the panellists had demonstrated their buzzers.

Each panellist has a Pudsey bear in front of them, however Rich Hall's Pudsey does not have one eye covered. This is because Rich Hall, being American and not aware of Pudsey's trademark, removed the eyepatch and bound his Pudsey's hands behind its back using the eyepatch before the recording of the episode began.


[edit] Episode 9 "Doves"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
General ignorance
  • The last question of the General Ignorance round was 'Whose motto is "E Pluribus Unum"?' A bonus question for 50 points was supposed to subsequently asked, regarding the origins of the phrase (a poem about salad, Moretum[5], sometimes attributed to Virgil), only for Fry to accidently provide the answer before asking the question. Alan Davies then answered the question regardless, and earned the 50 point bonus. As it turned out, he would still have won without the bonus had nobody else answered the question correctly.

[edit] Episode 10 "Divination"

Special episode without Alan Davies (he decided to watch Arsenal play in the UEFA Champions League Final instead). He did appear at the beginning of the show, and he buzzed in with answers to some of the questions while not physically being there, which explains his score.

Broadcast dates
Panellists

Theme:

  • Whoever managed to accurately predict their own score at the end would be rewarded with 666 bonus points. No-one managed to do so accurately with their own scores, but Vaughan correctly guessed Garden's score. The 666 points were not given because it had to be their own score they predicted.
  • There is also a Doctor Who theme in this episode. For instance, when Alan Davies disappears, the dematerialisation noise of the TARDIS is heard, and when he calls in for the answer, the Doctor Who theme music is used as his 'buzzer'
Topics
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 11 "Deprivation"

Broadcast dates
Panellists
Theme
  • The show was deprived of the normal set. Instead, Alan and Mark where sitting at school desks, Roger and Vic had side tables and glasses of whisky and Stephen sat at an auctionner's stand with a gavel. The lighting director was fired so there was a lack of light. Some of the studio was lit by candles. The audience was forced to watch in the street. The buzzers where hand-cranked.
  • The team where each given a tray, containing dental floss, chili powder, a potato and a green pen. The panellists had to find out how each item had been used in a prison escape.
    • Green pen - Steven Russell coloured his shirt green, the same colour shirts as those of the prison doctors, and walked out of the prison.
    • Dental floss - Vincenzo Curcio used floss to file down the bars.
    • Chili powder - Five prisoners from Pakistan threw spice powder into the eyes of a warden and ran out of the prison.
    • Potato - John Dillinger stole a raw potato, carved it into the shape of a gun, painted it black with boot polish and held up a warden with it.
Topics
General ignorance

[edit] Episode 12 "Domesticity"

Broadcast dates
Panellists

[edit] Episode 13 – Christmas special (not yet broadcast)

Christmas special

Broadcast dates
Panellists
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