| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| Serpent's Tooth |
19 September |
Ben gets angry when Janey sees another dentist, an Australian called Mel Fraser, and he then discovers Susan as seen him as well. Nick meets a girl called Isabel on the Internet, and Ben bets him £50 she is who he says she is, and Michael rebels by buying himself a rabbit. |
| Pain In The Class |
26 September |
Michael gets bullied at school by Jason Hodder, and when Ben and Susan find out, he calls Susan a "control freak", which means Ben is forced to try and deal with it. However, when it gets worse, she invites Hodder's parents around to discuss the problem. Meanwhile, Nick tries to become a dotcom millionaire and Janey wants a tattoo. |
| Droit De Seigneur Ben |
3 October |
Brigitte and Lord Whitton, a patient, arrange a date between Janey and Whitton's son Toby. However, Toby tries to assault her and Whitton's son then goes to the sugery for treatment. Also, Susan gets tickets for Don Giovanni, but Ben's reluctant to go, and Nick becomes an artist. |
| The Last Resort |
10 October |
Susan turns 40 again, and after persuasion fron Janey, Ben takes her for a romantic weekend at a hotel they stayed in April 1978, shortly before they were married. The couple in the next room, the Pickerings, get friendly but turn out to be swingers. Meanwhile, at home Nick and Janey go out leaving Michael on his own. Guest starring Duncan Preston. |
| A Farewell To Alarms |
17 October |
After Brigitte thinks her van has been stolen from near the Harper's house, Susan insists they get an expensive top of the range burglar alarm, which soons lands them in trouble with the police when it goes off too often. Also, Nick becomes a landlord and then a stripper. |
| Death Takes A Policy |
24 October |
When a Chinese businessman, who was on a tour with Susan's company, is found dead at Madame Tussauds, Susan is worried as it's the children's "first death". Meanwhile, Nick brings round his new girlfriend Emily, who tries to sell Ben life insurance and Janey wants a water bra. |
| The Awkward Phase |
30 October |
Michael has his first date with a girl from school, and gets tips from Nick, Ben and Janey. Meanwhile, Nick tries to get a job by growing a moustache, and Janey buys a pair of £98 Prada jeans, which Susan had forbidden her to buy. |
| Much Ado About Ben |
7 November |
Susan finds viagara in Nick's trousers, which she then confiscates, but when Ben then uses it he is rushed to hospital. After being diagnosed with high cholestrol, he is put on a diet by Susan. Also, Janey is trying to get tickets for a Marilyn Manson concert, and when Susan takes up yoga to help her stop smoking Ben takes part in a lesson at their house. |
| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| All Roads Lead To Ramon |
31 August |
When Nick is fired from an employment agency for being "chronically unemployable", Susan is forced into giving him a job as a tour guide, which proves a disaster. Meanwhile, when Janey has a different boy round each day, each one coaching in her A-Levels, Ben accidentally calls her a prostitute. Also, Stupid Brian tries to win Janey back, and Ben has dental assistant problems, finally employing Ramon Manlucas. Guest starring Rupert Vansittart. |
| The Unkindest Cut |
7 September |
After a weekend together in Paris, Susan thinks she is pregnant. After discussing whether to have the baby or not, Susan finds out it was a false alarm, but insists Ben has a vasectomy so it doesn't happen again. Meanwhile, Nick becomes a chef. |
| Parisian Beauty |
14 September |
Janey has invited over Sylvie, a French exchange student, so she can go to Paris in return. This means Michael has to stay in Nick's room, and Ben thinks that Sylvie fancies him. Also, Nick is taking part in a sleep deprivation experiment. Guest starring Christopher Ryan. |
| Trust Never Sleeps |
21 September |
Susan reads in Janey's diary that Janey thinks Susan doesn't trust her, so after getting an 'A' in a French project, Susan shows she trusts Janey by letting her have a party while she and Ben are in Oxford for the night. However, when Ben and Susan return after getting second thoughts, they are stuck in their bedroom hiding from Janey, while Ben needs the toilet. |
| Death And Ben Take A Holiday |
28 September |
When Ben's 93-year-old aunt Margaret dies, Susan can't go to Leeds with him for the funeral because she has flu, so he is forced to go with Nick. They are forced to share a bed, while Nick tries to spend the night with the hotel maid. After taking some pills she got from Stupid Brian, Susan arrives in Leeds and discovers Aunt Margaret wearing a bracelet that Ben gave her. Guest starring Hilda Braid. |
| Driving Miss Crazy |
5 October |
Janey is revising for her driving test, while Ben is having problems with his neighbour Mr Casey (played by Nickolas Grace) and his dog Gemma. Ben and Mr Casey go to war over the Harper's garden, Ben's shed that burns down and Gemma, and Susan fails to stop the war. |
| I Second That Emulsion |
12 October |
Susan decides to redecorate the living room, and Stupid Brian offers to do the job, but Susan has problems deciding what colour to paint it. Meanwhile, Stupid Brian spends the night in Janey's room causing a dilema for Ben and Susan, and Nick becomes a piano tuner and then gets a job in a paint shop. |
| The Age Of Romance |
19 October |
Nick gets a girlfriend called Amanda (played by Jan Francis), who is old enough to be his mother, and when Susan invites her round to dinner she finds out Amanda is married. Also, after Michael gets a new computer and Nick's has his dinner, Janey starts to feel like the "poor relation". |
| Get Cartier |
26 October |
When Ben gets a new patient called Mr Smith, he suspects that he's a "underworld kingpin", although Mr Smith says his business is "organised dance and waste removal". However, Ben soons starts to get suspicious when he receives lots of gifts, and when Susan finds one of them, a Cartier watch, she thinks Ben has bought it for their upcoming 23rd wedding annivsary. |
| 'Tis Pity She's A Whore |
2 November |
When Susan's mother rings and says she's dying again, Janey goes to visit her. She then tells Janey that her mother Mary was a prostitute, which shocks Ben as Susan never told him. Meanwhile, Michael is standing in the school elections as a Conservative, much to Ben's annoyance as he claims is a "Labour household", but Michael does manage to get Ben a park bench with his name on it. Guest starring Timothy Bateson. |
| The Last Supper |
9 November |
Scott Taylor, Susan's American new boss, is round for dinner. After arguing with him about his new ideas, which include her dressing up as a Beatle, she trigers his acid reflux so he has to sleep in their bed overnight. When he then dies in his sleep, Susan thinks she argued him to death and goes to a priest to confess. Also, Nick goes out with a policewoman. |
| Ben Wants To Be A Millionaire |
23 November |
Ben and Susan go out to dinner with a multi-millionaire old school friend of his, Andy Banks (played by Daniel Hill), and his wife Ambyr, who is going in for cosmetic surgery. After taking advice from Andy, both Ben and Susan invest in the stock market. Meanwhile, Susan is learning Russian for a new tour group, Janey wants some Prada shoes and Nick tries to sell his organs on eBay. |
| Breakable |
30 November |
Susan finds £1255 in Nick's trousers, and Nick uses this to buy a motorcycle so he can form a motorcycle stunt display team called The League of Mentalmen. His first performance is at the Peterborough Rock Festival, where he gets injured when hitting a cow and and ends up in hospital with a broken arm, leg, three broken ribs and whiplash. Susan tries to make Ben say to Nick he loves him. Meanwhile, Janey's got a job as a waitress in Soho and hopes to be discovered by film producers, but ends up being sacked. |
| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey |
6 September |
After Janey leaves home to go to Manchester University, Ben and Susan fight for who will get her room, and while Susan misses her and rings her constantly, Ben seems happy. Meanwhile, Nick gets a job as a shelf stacker as a supermarket called Freshfair and brings his work home with him, while Michael is reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu. |
| Shrink Rap |
13 September |
Susan 'finds' a letter in Michael's room from the school about an 'Auction of Promises', which he had hidden because he finds his parents embassing. However, Ben and Susan go to the Auction anyway, with Susan donating a tour and Ben donating a dental session, and Susan bids for everything, including a counseling session, which she and Ben then attend. Guest starring Jemma Redgrave and Paul Bradley. |
| Desperately Squeaking Susan |
20 September |
Following Janey leaving, Susan feels a void and needs female company, so she invites the daughter of Ben's cousin, Abi, who has just started at Art College in London, round for dinner. However, they end up in Casualty when Abi puts her hand through the window. Susan then invites Abi to come and live with them, much to Ben's annoyance. Meanwhile, Nick becomes a magician under the name Brian Miles, and Susan plays the cello. |
| Of Mice and Ben |
27 September |
Ben and Susan agree that Abi can make a film of them, for her film class, to show a "typical, married couple". Meanwhile, there is a rat, which seems to survive every trap set for it, and is eventually found to be in the basement, where it comes face to face with Ben and the camera. |
| Imperfect Strangers |
3 October |
After getting a call of distress from Janey, Ben and Susan drive up to Manchester, where they discover they are not needed after all, so they decide to stay in Maythorne Metrolodge, on the M62. Once there they decide to pretend to be strangers under the names Delores DeLarge and Johnny Studd, and meet for the first time. Meanwhile, Abi has her boyfriend Michael around, and the other Michael tells lies to make sure he leaves. |
| The Second Greatest Story Ever Told |
10 October |
Susan auditions for the community theatre's nativity play, but ends up with the role of second shepherd, while Nick is given the part of Jesus, but she soon tries to expand her role. Abi has a new job at a coffee shop, where Michael finds out his date is going out with someone else. Meanwhile, Ben is writing a speech for the Central London Dental Association, and very reluctantly has to go to the dentist, only to find his dentist, old mentor Roger Bailey, has died and been replaced by his son Roger Bailey, Jr. |
| Waiting to Inhale |
17 October |
After finding a cannabis cigarette in Michael's bedroom, which he had got from a friend called Bex, Susan and Ben decide to smoke it themselves. However, after their high Ben and Susan realise they have to make up another cigarette, using parsley, so they can have words with Michael. |
| Misery |
24 October |
Susan goes to stay with Janey at University, and is determined to relive her own student days. Meanwhile, Ben has hurt his ankle but still insists on playing golf with his old friend Gerald Dearden, and Nick becomes a female impersonator. |
| Auto Erotica |
7 November |
Susan wants a romantic weekend in Dorset for her and Ben's 26th wedding anniversary. However, after Nick wins a 72 MG Roadster car in a poker game, Ben is more concerned about fixing this. Also, Michael accidentally ends up with a pair of knickers, which belong to Abi, who he fancies. |
| A Handful of Dust |
21 November |
Ben is upset when everyone ignores his birthday, although he told them to do so. After pestering from Susan, Janey comes down from university for Ben's birthday, and brings with her a friend called Kate, and the two seem to be lesbians. Nick becomes a gorilla-gram. |
| The Lost Weekend |
28 November |
After Michael leaves for a Higher Maths Fun Weekend, Ben and Susan have the house to themselves. Susan's perfect weekend includes looking for antiques and going to the Tate Modern, while Ben's is to relax and do nothing at home or to go to the cinema. Ben tries to teach Susan to relax, but in the end they just end up anoying each other. |
| Ghosts |
5 December |
After signing up on oldpals.com, Susan gets a bunch of flowers from Kirk Mason, who dumped her 28years previously, and with Janey's help she gets her revenge on him. Meanwhile, Michael finds out their house is cursed while Nick becomes a taxi driver. |
| One Flew Out Of The Cuckoo's Nest |
12 December |
Ben finally gets so fed up with Nick after he breaks and sells his record collection, that he tells Nick to move out. Nick then does move out, much to Susan's horror, and gets a job at Ben's local pub, but he still isn't totally independent. Also, Michael tries to get fit for a girl called Julia. |
| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| Fitting Punishment |
21 March |
Following the death of Mr Beamish, who owned the surgery above Ben's, Roger Bailey Jnr, the son of Ben's former mentor, tries to buy it, but Ben lies and tells him someone else has bought it, so Roger buys the surgery below instead. Meanwhile, Susan tries to make the house baby-friendly for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, and then has problems with the plumbers. Nick becomes a film extra, Michael becomes obsessed with the Army cadets and Roger falls for Abi as soon as he sees her. |
| They Shoot Harpers, Don't They? |
28 March |
Susan tricks Ben into joining a modern latin dance class, but Ben's ends up doing better than her. They both then get Roger, who dances "like Fred Astaire", to teach them privately so they can enter a competition at the end of the month. Meanwhile, after getting a 'B' in a Maths test, Michael decides to stop thinking about girls so he can focus on his studies. Guest starring Jacey Sallés and Georgie Glen. |
| The Great Escape |
4 April |
When Susan's mother, Grace, invites herself round for dinner, Ben invents an excuse and goes to Nick's apartment for the evening. When he returns, he doesn't realise Grace is in his bed and nearly makes love to her thinking she's Susan. The following day, the all end up at Nick's to avoid Grace. Also, Susan finds a condom in Michael's wallet. |
| Return of the Prodigal Prat |
11 April |
After Ben is listed in the obituaries of newspaper The Herald, he takes it as the perfect excuse to do nothing, while neighbour Mr Gleason sets his sights on 'widowed' Susan and Michael has to right a eulogy. Meanwhile, Susan wants to make Nick's old bedroom into a nursery for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, but Nick has plans to move back in. |
| Owed to Susan |
18 April |
Thanks to Roger, Susan finds out that a poem that Ben wrote her while they were courting was actually Your Face by Jalal ad-Din Rumi. Susan then refuses to make love to him until he's written another one, and he even goes to Abi's poetry class to try and write one. Meanwhile, Nick takes part in an experiment that makes him lose his memory. Guest starring Frances Barber. |
| Deliverance |
25 April |
After Janey goes into labour while on the phone to Susan, she and Ben rush up to Manchester to be at her side. On the journey up there they recall Nick's birth, and when they get to St. Margaret's Hospital in Manchester, a unseen Janey has given birth to a baby boy, who is later named Kenzo. |
| Blind Justice |
2 May |
Susan gets hysterical blindness after seeing Michael in bed with a girl called Fiona, and it won't go until Michael says nothing happened. Meanwhile, Ben is on jury duty, and is hassled by a busybody fellow juror called Joanna Elton-Johns (played by Sylvestra Le Touzel), and Nick becomes a "wrapping artist" and wraps everything up in brown paper. |
| Friday the 31st |
9 May |
It's Halloween, and Susan has turned the house into a "house of horrors" and dressed up as a witch but Ben is much less enthusiastic. They are plagued by children doing trick or treat, and strange things begin to happen. Also, Abi is dressed as a piece of cheese, and Roger as a ghost. Guest starring Danielle Harmer. |
| Sitting Targets |
16 May |
Ben and Susan baby-sit Kenzo for Janey, but Susan becomes annoyed when it's only her that can't stop him crying. Meanwhile, Michael wants Ben to read his Geography project, but when Ben doesn't, he agrees to do a UFO watch with Michael instead, and Nick is going out with three girls at the same time. |
| Loco Parentis |
23 May |
Ben and Susan are forced to attend parenting classes by Michael's head teacher (played by Owen Brenman) after he plays truant from school, and Susan is told that she is too interventionist, so she tries to become laid back, but Michael actually misses the authority. Meanwhile, Roger tries to become 'harder' and crueler so Abi will go out with him. |
| The Canary Cage |
30 May |
After Susan gets a free holiday for four, she, Ben, Nick and Michael all go to Lanzarote in Spain. However, Ben's luggage gets lost, and then all his credit cards and money are stolen and he is forced to beg for money off Nick. Ben also upsets the people in the next house by taking indecent photos with his new digital camera. Meanwhile, Michael spends most of time out. Guest starring Christopher Ryan and Hetty Baynes. |
| May the Best Man Win |
6 June |
Abi's father, Ben's cousin, Richard Harper (played by Anthony Head) is getting married for a fifth time, to 18-year-old Gina Beresford and he asks Ben to be the best man, which means Ben has to organise the stag night. The wedding makes Abi annoyed, especially as Gina Beresford was at the same school as her. Meanwhile, when Michael refuses to do the washing-up, no one else does it either. |
| It's a Window Filled Life |
13 June |
Roger goes to the Harpers saying that one of his patients had got a infectious disease from Peru called "Auteze River Fever", so Susan puts the whole house under quarantine. So Michael stays upstairs with Fiona, while Nick tries to get in the house with a snake called Pamela. Meanwhile, Ben manages to escape the house, meets a man called Clarence and then has an epiphany where he doesn't exist. Guest starring Russ Abbot. |
| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| The Mummy Returns |
19 March |
Janey returns home, having being thrown out of Manchester University, but tells Ben and Susan she dropped out. The Police are looking for her, and Susan lies when they turn up at the house, but it turns out the policeman turns out to be an old flame. Also, Janey gets her own flat. Meanwhile, Michael goes religious, with new friend Hubert, and Abi gets involved in naturism. |
| You Don't Know Jack |
26 March |
Michael gets a 'cool' new friend, Jack, who gives Michael street cred, while he does Jack's Maths homework. Jack gets a crush on Susan, which Michael encourages, while Ben shares an interest in football and Slade with him. |
| What's Up, Docklands? |
2 April |
Ben and Susan flat-sit for some friends, Geoff and Stephanie, in the Docklands. While there, they are have problems with the technology, get lost while looking for the pizza delievery man and set fire to the oven. |
| Luck Be A Lady Tonight |
16 April |
Roger becomes depressed when Abi starts going out with a man called Steve, so Ben and Susan try and help Roger get a girlfriend so he can make Abi jealous. However, Roger ends up with a escort girl who charges him £200 an hour, and Abi's boyfriend turns out to be a slimball. Meanwhile, Michael gets the house valued and shows people round. |
| First Past The Post |
23 April |
Following the death of their local councillor, Susan stands as an independent candidate in the by-election on the issues of street hygene and speed bumps and changes her middlename to the more statesman like 'Barrington'. Meanwhile, Roger wins The Times crossword, so Ben then tries to do the same, and Michael loses his pet tarantula called Nicola. |
| My Will Be Done |
30 April |
Following the death of Susan's best friend Linda, she thinks about mortality. An Internet site then gives Ben 67 weeks to live, so he decides to write a will and makes Roger Michael's guardian if he dies. Also, Nick comes back from travelling on the Circle Line for six months, and gets a job as an Official Mourner, who he loses when he crashes three hearses. |
| My Fair Charlady |
7 May |
Susan gets fed up with doing all the housework, so she hires a super-effiecient cleaner called Martha. However, Susan soon feels redundant and to Ben's annoyance, she says Martha has to go. Meanwhile, Michael gets interested in football to impress a girl and Abi learns the dictionary to get a job at the college library. |
| The Mouth Trap |
14 May |
When Mr Addis, a patient of Ben's, confesses, while under sedation, to murdering his wife, Susan uses her new found interest in Inspector Morse to prove he committed the crime. Also, Michael claims his new girlfriend is a supermodel. |
| While You Weren't Sleeping |
21 May |
Ben's snorning starts to keep Susan awake, so they sleep in separate rooms, which puts the whole house under pressure and makes Abi thinks she is a curse. Janey becomes a personal shopper and changes Michael and Abi's wardrobes. |
| Dentist to the Stars |
28 May |
Colin Judd (played by Peter Capaldi), a famous Hollywood actor, comes to Ben's surgery, but before his second visit Ben hurts his back, and Roger get his famous patients, including Jude Law and Kevin Spacey, and is invited to a celebrity party. Meanwhile, when Susan is sacked as tour guide she reapplies but has to revise first, and Michael is doing history coursework. |
| A Wife Less Ordinary |
4 June |
When Susan gets bored with her predictable life, she has a life swap with Janey for a week, with Susan living at Janey's flat and Janey moving into the Harper house. Ben then moves into his surgery, and he and Susan recreate their first date, whilst Janey goes mad pretending she is a housewife with an imaginary husband. |
| The Book of Love |
11 June |
Susan joins a book club started by her neighbour, John Griffin, but when it turns out to consist of just them, he tries to seduce her, but she goes back a second time so she doesn't admit she's wrong as Ben told her what Griffin would do. Meanwhile, Roger buys some very expensive Coldplay tickets from Michael to impress Abi, and Janey becomes Ben's dental assistant and takes Kenzo to work with her. |
| Going Dental |
18 June |
When Susan refuses to go to Ben's dental conference at an expensive hotel because she is trying to write a novel, Janey goes instead. Everyone thinks Janey is Ben's mistress, and Ben goes along with this so he can get an important business partnership. Abi also goes to the conference to be with Roger, and Susan, Michael and Hubert soon end up their as well. Guest starring Windsor Davies. |
| Title |
Airdate |
Overview |
| Bliss for Idiots |
10 March |
Ben is unhappy with his patients, but is even less happy with Susan's book-writing house guest. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Cockerel has the answer. Also, Roger speaks the Welsh to Abi and Alfie joins in. |
| The Spokes Person |
17 March |
Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign which causes chaos in the household, and Susan compounds it with her fund-raising efforts. |
| Dentally Unstable |
31 March |
While Ben is away, Janey starts an affair with a dentist whose charm captivates the rest of the females in the Harper household, while Michael's latest scam eventually puts everyone at risk. |
| Living the Dream |
7 April |
Ben and Susan join a pyramid selling scheme on Roger's advice, and against Michael's... |
| An Embarrassment Of Susans |
14 April |
Ben buys the house next door to help with the family finances, but ends up involved in a "squatter's rights" dilemma; Susan tries to fix Michael up with a new girlfriend called Suzanne, but the similarity isn't limited to the name... |
| And Other Animals |
21 April |
With Nick still away, Michael joining the army, and Janey getting her stuff out of the attic, Susan is feeling deserted. Then a stray dog appears and tries to become man's best friend. Unfortunately, the man he chooses is Ben. |
| The Art Of Being Susan |
28 April |
With Ben away (again), Susan is invited to dinner by a wealthy art collector. Her mother, Grace, is gathering a collection of her own, and Roger is summoning up the courage to pop the question to Abi. |
