List of Chappelle's Show skits
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The following is a list of skits performed on the Comedy Central series Chappelle's Show. The skits became more surreal on "The Lost Episodes".
[edit] Season 1
[edit] Frontline: Clayton Bigsby
The first "Frontline" sketch, "Blind Supremacy", featured the life of Clayton Bigsby (played by Chappelle), a biography of a blind white supremacist who is not aware that he is actually a black man. This sketch was featured in the first episode and helped Chappelle gain significant notoriety for the way that the sketch gratuitously used the word "nigger" (mostly spoken by Chappelle's character). Other "Frontline" sketches featured stories of racist animal actors and gay versions of everything from the Department of Motor Vehicles to the Ku Klux Klan.
[edit] R. Kelly's 'Piss on You' Music Video
Chappelle as R. Kelly, in a music video that features "R. Kelly" boasting about his sexual fetish for urinating on women while having sex with them. The segment also featured a "remix" of the song (Inspired by Kelly's "Ignition Remix"- "this is the remix edition/of the song about pissin'"), which has R. Kelly talking frankly about his sexual fetish regarding urinating on women. Chappelle made a comment about R. Kelly being angered by this spoof, which prompted him to ask Chappelle, "Nigga how you gonna make a video about peeing on somebody?", to which Chappelle responded "Nigga, how you gonna make a video about peeing on somebody?".
[edit] Ask a Black Dude
Paul Mooney answers questions about black people from both famous and anonymous white people. In one episode, Mario Cantone also had his own version with Ask A Gay Dude. All of the lines were improvised.
[edit] Popcopy
A parody of the Kinko's franchise's training videos which informs employees that they can treat customers badly and offers suggestions on how to insult and mistreat customers. Michael Rapaport stars as one of the Popcopy employees.
[edit] The Playa Hater's Ball
Chappelle and Murphy star as vicious, foul-mouthed pimp-like characters each vying for the top position of "Playa Hater of the Year" by insulting each other and committing unethical deeds. Chappelle's Silky Johnston is well known for his deadpan humor. Much of this sketch was revealed, on DVD commentary, to have been improvised, especially Chappelle's lines. Ice-T appears as himself and Murphy plays Buc Nasty. The sketch is a spoof on pimps. The party has been a November tradition since 1974.
[edit] The Mad Real World
In a parody of MTV's The Real World, a mild-mannered white male (played by stand-up comedian Christian Finnegan) moves in with a group of antagonistic black roommates who spend their time humiliating, raping and beating their token white roommate mercilessly. When the white roommate eventually responds with an angry outburst, the other roommates accuse him of being violent and vote to have him kicked off the show. Some lines, especially from Chappelle, were improvised. Also improvised was the scene in which the roommates run from the cops. On DVD commentary, Chappelle and series co-creator Neal Brennan revealed that a siren just went off and they went from there. The "Mad" Real World was filmed in Hoboken, New Jersey, and has scenes of Chappelle and the other actors at Court Street and at Re-Juice-A-Nation, a juice bar on Newark Street. muMs da Schemer guest stars as a parolee named Lysol who has sex with the white male's girlfriend Katie in front of him.
[edit] Fisticuffs: Turn My Headphones Up
In a parody of the mixtape promotion that propelled 50 Cent's debut, Dave portrays rapper Fisticuffs who was reportedly shot eight times in his left ear. Fisticuffs is being highly touted by VJs Funkmaster Flex and Big Tigger but because of his deafness he has yet to even record a song. [http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/4365/Dave_Chappelle_Making_Rap.html 1
[edit] O'Dweeds
A new THC-free Cannabis that is completely legal. Parody of O'Doul's alcohol-free beer.
[edit] Trading Spouses
A spoof of the reality show Trading Spaces, where a white and black family exchange fathers. Ironically, shows with a similar premise were later released by Fox Network (Trading Spouses) and British network Channel 4 (Wife Swap).
[edit] Wu-Tang Financial
A send-up of commercials for investment banks featuring Wu-Tang Clan leaders, RZA and GZA(but unfortunately "Ol' Dirty Bastard couldn't make it but he sends his regards"). In the sketch, the Clan have their own bank that provides financial services.
[edit] Great Moments In Hookup History
A spoof of NFL Films and highlights on ESPN, showing great moments in football history. It always centers around a male attempting to get a female to sleep with him (getting to the end zone) and the man trying anything he can, including interceptions, trick plays, and other sports/hookup moves.
[edit] Real Movies
Examples of what movies would be like if they were set in reality. Includes Pretty Woman, The Matrix, Deep Impact and Chappelle's own Half-Baked.
[edit] Life Like a Video Game
An example of what life would be like if it was set in the world of Grand Theft Auto including the HUD.
[edit] Season 2
[edit] Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories
[edit] Rick James
Charlie Murphy (who also wrote the sketch) retells events of the 1980s, the most popular being the Rick James story with Murphy as himself and Chappelle as James, including incidents such as James slapping Murphy, interspersed with present-day scenes of the real Rick James explaining his past behavior, saying, "Cocaine's a hell of a drug." The sketch spawned one of the show's popular catchphrases, "I'm Rick James, bitch!", which Chappelle as James repeatedly declares. Being split into parts, it is the longest skit to be featured on the show.
- The incident in the sketch in which Rick James grinds his muddy boots on Eddie Murphy's couch was made into a song, twice, entitled "Fuck Yo' Couch". One song was made by a rap group in Chicago, while another was made by Champ Bailey, from the San Francisco Bay Area. Both songs make multiple references to the sketch.
- The sketch attained even greater public attention when, in 2004, a candidate for city council in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, also named Rick James but unrelated to the singer, had many of his "Vote Rick James" campaign signs defaced or stolen by fans of the sketch. [1] [2]
[edit] Prince
A later version of Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories involves Murphy, his brother Eddie and their entourage visiting Prince—and getting soundly beaten by The Revolution in an impromptu basketball game. Chappelle does an imitation of Prince's deadpan style of speaking.
[edit] Negrodamus
In the second season, Mooney replaced his previous recurring sketch with Negrodamus, an African American version of Nostradamus in which Mooney "answers to life's most unsolvable mysteries" such as "Why do white people love Wayne Brady?" (Answer: "Because Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X.") All of Mooney's lines were improvised.
[edit] When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong
Sketches that shows how "Keeping It Real" can lead to people acting stupid and having their lives ruined as a result.
- The first time the skit appeared on Chappelle's Show, the story revolved around a man named Darius who tried to fight another man at a club who made a mild comment to his girlfriend Tanisha. Instead of "keeping it real," it resulted in a sound attack on Darius by the man who made the comment, as well as Tanisha, who was fed up with hearing how Darius "kept it real." He ended up having to move in with his grandmother as a result.
- A later skit involved a woman named Brenda, "keeping it real" after a random wrong number hung up the phone on her. With her Star 69 ability, Brenda found her house and vandalized her car, which backfired for her when the woman's car was really the property of the federal government, whom the woman's older brother worked for. She was sentenced to six years in prison and was soundly beaten by three inmates who "kept it realer."
- Another skit featured a successful young, black company director in a boardroom meeting. All the characters are commending eachother on their performance when one leans over the table and says "gimme some skin brother". He angrily responds, ranting about this remark and shouting: "bark! bark! Wu-Tang!...." continues cursing. The next scene he is out in the snow cleaning car windscreens at an intersection yelling at someone for not paying him enough money.
[edit] Mooney on Movies
Paul Mooney voices his discomfort with the movies Gone With the Wind, Barbershop 2: Back in Business and The Last Samurai while two white women accompany him.
Mooney claims that after the women say Gone With the Wind is a classic the best scene in the movie is when Mammy tells the white people to "get off my po'ch, white trash." He then informs the women that in real life Hattie McDaniel was not allowed to attend the opening and "she's dead but everybody comes back to get their money. She came back as Oprah Winfrey to get her money."
When reviewing Barbershop 2, Mooney reminds the women that "It's just a front. They sell drugs in a barbershop."
In the final review he claims he was "offended by" movies with ethnic titles starring white actors by saying "First they had The Mexican with Brad Pitt and now we have The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise?" He finishes by saying "Maybe they'll produce my film: The Last Nigga on Earth starring Tom Hanks."
[edit] The Time Haters
The Time-Haters was the sequel to "The Playa Hater's Ball" from season one and featured the same characters. When one of them produces a time machine at a Playa Haters science fair, they use it to go back to "hate" on various historical figures, such as Adolf Hitler. They wind up at a slave plantation, where Silky Johnson shoots a slave master after a slave asks him when he will be free. This sketch is improvised in some scenes such as the meaning of "Honky", and what the Time-Haters themselves are: "We are the Time-Haters, and we've travelled back in time to free our people [the slaves] and call you [white people] crackas."
[edit] Black Bush
An African-American "interpretation" of George W. Bush and his administration. It was controversial due to its set-up segment (which had Chappelle mocking fellow comedian Dennis Miller over the comedian's infamous "free pass" comment regarding not saying anything bad about George W. Bush) and its overall theme that if Bush and his top aides were black, that the public would be more willing to be critical of the President and his decisions. The sketch also features cameo appearances by actor Jamie Foxx, who appears as "Black Tony Blair" and Mos Def as "Black Head of the CIA".
[edit] The Three Daves
Dave takes a look back at different personas he's had a different ages (18, 24, and 30). At 18, he says he was sincere, earnest, and relentlessly optimistic. At 24, he says he was a budding movie star, reefer addict, and a man with a sexual appetite that would make Michael Douglas seem gay. At 30, which is his present persona, he says he's a proud father, loyal husband, and prompt tax payer. He compares how these different personas would behave in different scenarios such as relationship problems, being pulled over by police, and losing out on movie parts (the lattermost of those featuring his son saying Nick Cannon is "hil-AIR-ious").
[edit] Wayne Brady's Show
After Chappelle quits the show in an opening segment that very intriguingly mirrored the contract negotiations for the aborted third season, Wayne Brady takes over as host and is ordered to emcee the remaining episodes of the series (since Chappelle had already filmed the remaining sketches). After several segments showing Chappelle at home, missing being on TV (and having his friends, such as Big Boi, suddenly turn their backs on him, and his son starting to hang out with Nick Cannon, whom he claims is "hil-AIR-ious" [see "The Three Daves" above]), he returns to the show and confronts Brady. The ensuing confrontation leads to the airing of a flashback to a night of misadventure involving the two that portrays Brady (contrary to his friendly public image) as a murderous, pimping and seriously disturbed psychopath (a parody of the film Training Day).
As seen in the DVD's behind-the-scenes, Wayne Brady initially felt uneasy about saying what was agreed on as the lynchpin line: "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"
[edit] The Niggar Family
A parody of a white Leave It To Beaver-type family whose last name happens to be Niggar. Chappelle plays the milkman, and employs various stereotypes about African-Americans, such as, "I know better than to get between a Niggar and his pork!" and "I know how forgetful you Niggars are when it comes to payin' bills!"
[edit] The World Series of Dice
A parody of ESPN's coverage of the World Series of Poker with special guest star Eddie Griffin as "Grits 'n Gravy" and introducing Ashy Larry.
[edit] The Racial Draft
A parody of the NBA Draft telecast where the various races of the world finally decide to claim several mixed-race celebrities as their own. The representatives of each race (ranging from African American to Jewish) are more or less extremely stereotypical depictions of each race. As the skit progresses, the draft picks become more and more bizarre.
Picks were:
1. African-Americans select Tiger Woods
2. Jews select Lenny Kravitz
3. Latino Community selects Elian Gonzalez
4. Whites select Colin Powell: challenged by Blacks, who demand a trade; trade is made, Condoleezza Rice to Whites in exchange for O.J. Simpson.
5. Asians select the entire Wu-Tang Clan, represented by RZA and GZA.
[edit] WacArnold's
A take-off on the famous 1990s commercial for McDonald's with one of their first African-American characters "Calvin". A good-looking, clean-cut kid with an after school job, Calvin made the whole neighborhood proud. As he passed kids playing and old ladies on the stoop they greeted Calvin with warm smiles. Calvin was the pride of his black community, being a responsible, employed teenager. The skit picks up from there with a more realistic and tragic look at what life is really like for a Calvin-like character that works fast food. "WacArnold's" was planned to appear in another skit called "Maximize Me", a parody on the documentary Super Size Me, only appears on the DVD as an unaired skit.
[edit] Samuel Jackson beer
A parody of the Samuel Adams beer commercials. Features Chappelle as a very profane and extremely loud Samuel L. Jackson dressed in colonial-style clothes as a play on Samuel Adams beer. Sam Jackson's catchphrases include "IT'LL GET YOU DRUNK!!", "YOU'LL BE FUCKING FAT GIRLS IN NO TIME! YOU MIGHT EVEN FIGHT A NIGGA OR TWO!, MM-MMM BITCH!!", "GOOD MUTHAFUCKING CHOICE, MUTHAFUCKA! and "HOW'S IT TASTE MOTHERFUCKA?!".
[edit] I Know Black People
A "quiz show" of sorts hosted by Chappelle in which he asks a diverse selection of real people questions about African-American culture such as "What's a badonkadonk"? and "Why do black people love menthol cigarettes?" (Answers to the latter include "I don't know" and "'Cause that's what Newports are.")
[edit] Kneehigh Park
A parody of the children's show, Sesame Street, featuring vulgar puppets and adult topics played in a humorous way. Snoop Dogg provides the voice of a puppet. Features a cameo by Q-Tip.
[edit] A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon
Chappelle plays the rapper/producer, who usually says the words 'Yeah!', 'WHAT?!', and 'O-kay!' The real Lil' Jon appeared in one sketch, alternating, as does Chappelle's character, his catchphases with speech in an excessively dignified accent, perhaps as a reference to Lil Jon's upper middle class background.
[edit] Better in Slow Motion
A sketch that shows how routine activities (such as doing laundry or going to a club) are more exciting and sexy in slow-motion photography that is used often in movies and music videos, but not everything is (such as going to the bathroom). Actions in the slow-motion scenes are actually different than the original clip.
[edit] Jury Selection
Dave shows what it would be like if he were in the jury pool for the O.J. Simpson trial, Michael Jackson trial, Robert Blake trial and R. Kelly trial.
His memorable speech from this sketch:
"Dave: Listen, lady, the burden of proof is on the state. [shouts] On the State! You have got to prove to me beyond a reasonable doubt whether or not this man is a pisser.
Prosecutor: Aren't your doubts unreasonable?
Dave: No, it's not unreasonable. We're talking about a justice system that had 500 people whose cases were overturned by DNA evidence. I've seen a tape where five cops beat up a nigger and they said that they had a reasonable doubt. I got my doubts too! Alright?
How come they never found Biggie and Tupac's murderers but they could arrest O.J. the next day. Nicole Simpson can't rap! [shouts] I want justice!"
[edit] Black Gallagher
An depiction of what took place when comedian Leo Gallagher gave his bit to his brother ("Gallagher Too"), who, according to the sketch, sold the bit to an African-American, who dubs himself "Black Gallagher". The sketch concludes with Black Gallagher teasing his famous bit of smashing a watermelon with a large mallet.Then, rather than smash the Watermelon, Chappelle brandishes a pistol and shoots it, and over-penetrates the watermelon, inadvertently killing an audience member in the process before running off, declaring "And I've got warrants!".
[edit] Season 3: "The Lost Episodes"
[edit] Tupac - Rhymes for the Ages
A club full of people dancing to a "new" Tupac song (made by Chappelle himself) get quite confused when Tupac raps on present year's current events, pop culture and celebrities. More and more odd things begin to happen to the dancers as Tupac's voice, coming from the record, uncannily comments on them. The skit is supposed to be a response to the rumors on Tupac still living and why Tupac songs are still released after his death. It also pokes fun at Dave Chappelle when Tupac says "Dave Chappelle, that ain't your wife, GO HOME" while Dave is dancing with a partner. This is also a response to the many fans who claim that one of the female actors with Chappelle could be his wife.
Other surreal things happen such as Tupac seeing a stain on the shirt of a girl in the club, telling people he's not alive, warning a man to not hit the DJ's table or the record will skip. When the man hits the table again, it skips, and Tupac says, "I told you, stop hitting the table." Tupac also mentions Dave's two kids and claims that the song was written "a long time ago" in 1994. At the end of the song, the DJ (played by Questlove, the drummer for the hip hop band The Roots, yells "Rest in peace Tupac" into a mic, with the response "Ok, I will."
[edit] Hip Hop Newsbreak
The premise is centered around the song "M.E.T.H.O.D. Man" by Wu-Tang Clan. The intro to the song has Method Man and Raekwon discussing how they would torture one another.
All of the actions described by Method Man are those mentioned by Tron (who's in hospital), who claims that he was tortured by Method himself.
[edit] $55 Million
After hearing on BET that Dave has signed a $55 million deal with Comedy Central, people he interacts with begin to extort him for money. Suddenly, people who are doing services for him are pulling out guns. Getting his hair cut and being shaven in a barber shop, the barber says it costs $11,000. Dave looks at the sign and tells him it says $8, to which the barber exclaims, "That's the old price," and pulls out a gun. The same thing happens at a car wash, which the sign said it cost $28, but the man demands $873. Things get really bad when the IRS demands $25 million in taxes from Dave. At this point, Dave has hired an armed bodyguard who claims he is afraid of the government. After the bodyguard begins threatening Dave, the IRS agent pulls out a handgun and shoots him three times. The closing dialogue of this sketch, ironically, shows some relation to the situation that doomed seasons 3 and 4 of Chappelle's Show.
[edit] Dave's Revenge
Now that Dave has $55 million, he intends to "get revenge" on the people in his past who have wronged him: an ex-girlfriend, a casting agent, and a comedy club owner. This is obviously a parody on the Kill Bill series.
[edit] Black Howard Dean
Chappelle poses as an African-American version of Howard Dean, complete with swearing and a catchphrase, "BYAAAH!". To suppport his campaign, Black Dean makes a less-than-twenty-seconds music video called "BYAAAH!" mocking "Woo-Hah!" by Busta Rhymes.
[edit] Sex, Snacks, And Television
Chappelle potrays a man "exaggerately" having sex with his wife, eating snacks, and watching television until each show's star gives him odd advice. This skit is based on the Paris Hilton sex tape (having sex and watching television at the same time) as well as her Carl's Jr ad.
[edit] The Real Side of Gary Coleman
Loosely based on Gary Coleman's troubled security experience. Dave plays Coleman, who's making sure things around a toy store is good until he was meted by a fan who claims she totally loves his Diff'rent Strokes character, Arnold.
After being distracted and trying to ignore the fan, Coleman starts to lose control and fights the fan.
The segment is somewhat unfinished, which contains many viewable goofs such as a tiny, faceless dummy posing as Coleman in different shots, Coleman's height changes in other shots and a child double posing as Coleman in few shots. Chappelle's feet are also visible in one shot, as Gary is shown standing up talking to a customer (Chappelle is kneeling with shoes placed on his knees to give the impression he is Gary.)
[edit] Racial Pixies
In the skit that reportedly led to Chappelle's departure from the show, he portrays pixies of different races giving stereotypical advice on how to act.
The first pixie, played by Chappelle himself and made up in blackface, bugs Chappelle on an airline flight when he's given the choice between ordering chicken and fish, telling him to "order a big bucket" and proceeding to shingle dance. Chappelle orders the fish, angering the pixie, but the flight attendant discovers they are out of fish. Chappelle then asks how the chicken is prepared. Much to his dismay, the attendant says, "fried," and the pixie exclaims "hallelujah!" The pixie says he needs some music to celebrate, summoning a minstrel banjo player, played by Mos Def (also in blackface). A passenger offers to switch his fish dinner with Chappelle's, which he is very thankful for. The banjo playing pixie supposes the dinner might be catfish, which they begin to sing about.
The second pixie scene is set in an auto parts store, where a Hispanic is having a sound system installed in his car. The clerk says the store just got some new leopard skin seat covers for sale, at which point the Hispanic pixie appears (also played by Chappelle and dressed in matador clothing and shaking maracas), coaxing him on with "come on, homes. It's fucking leopard, man!" The clerk says he has a hot order in that he'll sell him for $80 and throw in a Jesus air freshener. The pixie exclaims, "Santa Maria! Jesús! Do it!" and Charo appears, asking him if he wants some "cocaína". The pixie snorts it from her compact as they celebrate. The customer then calls the pixie "el diablo" and leaves the store.
In the next scene, an older Japanese man named Yoshi is talking with Charlie Murphy when La La from MTV approaches. Murphy introduces the two and Yoshi says "Hello." At this point the Asian pixie arrives (again played by a buck toothed Chappelle, this time sitting in a traditional Chinese costume - although the pixie character's "customs" are actually more "Japanese" - on La La's shoulder), giving Yoshi advice on how to greet her. "Herro Ra Ra," is the only way the pixie can pronounce the introduction. At this time, he also tries to catch a fly with his chopsticks, a là Karate Kid. Yoshi finally offers, "Hello, gorgeous." The pixie yells, "No! You have disgraced my famiry [family]!" He then commits seppuku and falls to die in La La's cleavage.
The last pixie appears at a dance club when a caucasian man meets three of his black friends for drinks. The white pixie (Chappelle in his usual Chuck Taylor wardrobe) gives him advice on the situation from hip hop music he heard on the radio coming to the club (he references 50 Cent's In Da Club). When one of the friends points out a female in the bar with large buttocks, the white pixie is appalled by the "superfluous" backside, suggesting he find a girl with a "pancake butt" instead. The woman ends up asking the white man to dance, which the pixie says not to do, as it's a trap and he can't possibly make those moves. When the man dances well with her, the pixie says, "Damn this BET," before suggesting some good old-fashioned rock & roll music and singing Duran Duran's The Reflex.
This was one of the few skits to get audience feedback, which was overwhelmingly positive. For example, a Jewish man in the audience says he would always overpay when splitting a bill to avoid stereotypes of Jews. One member of the audience, calling white people "a generic race" thought the white pixie skit was too soft, so Murphy gives the audience one more white pixie skit.
In the last skit, the white pixie appears again, this time in a restroom where a white man has to use a urinal between two black men. The pixie informs the man to look straight ahead, as the "black penis" is the bane of their existence. One of the black men (Donnell Rawlings) looks at the pixie directly, revealing he can see him. The pixie tells him (which he says he learned from "one of [his] Negro shows", Martin), "this is an A and B conversation, so why don't you C your way out of it." Rawlings then says, "see deez nuts!" and urinates on him. The pixie then says "Woogie boogie!" (a reference to the Clayton Bigsby sketch) and jumps off camera.
Although Chappelle told Time Magazine that it made him "wonder if he was now reinforcing" stereotypes, it should be noted that none of the pixies' targets follow their advice. Some parts of the skit were altered for the DVD release.
[edit] The Monsters
This skit, based on old black-and-white monster sitcoms (The Munsters, The Addams Family, etc.), is about the lives of three black monsters. Frankenstein (played by Charlie Murphy), Wolfman (played by Chappelle), and Mummy (played by Donnell Rawlings) all face various racial problems. On the DVD commentary, it is revealed that this is the last sketch that Chappelle starred in before he disappeared to Africa.
[edit] Showbiz
Chappelle meets the all-powerful Show Business (similar to The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz). He gives Dave some advice on how to "hit it big" with merchandising (Dave Chappelle cereal), a Lil Jon movie, and an appearance on MTV Cribs. In this sketch, Hollywood is portrayed as the Emerald City and we see Dave walking away from it on a yellow brick road. Academy Award-winning actress Susan Sarandon makes a short cameo appearance as Lil Jon's love interest, offering to make him a sandwich. This was the last sketch on the show.
