Lighthouse Keeping Loonies
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| The Goodies episode | |
| "Lighthouse Keeping Loonies" | |
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| Episode № | 42 |
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| Airdate | 31 March 1975 |
| Director | |
| Guest star(s) | Corbet Woodall (as himself) |
| Series V February 10 – December 21, 1975 |
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| The Goodies episodes | |
Lighthouse Keeping Loonies is an episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies
This episode is also known as "The Lighthouse Men"..
Contents |
[edit] Plot
The Goodies answer a newspaper advertisement for light housekeeping. The Goodies are accepted and find that the advertisement should have said, "lighthouse keeping".
The lighthouse they are taken to is the sinister "Jollyrock Lighthouse", where lighthouse keepers have been disappearing.
Bill objects to everything in the lighthouse being round. Even the cards and chessboard are round.
There is a very heavy fog and a large ship comes near the lighthouse. As it passes, a white glove can be seen waving.
Tim goes upstairs to have a bath, while Graeme checks the light. The light has gone out and extra fuel is required. Graeme sends Bill to dig under the lighthouse to find more fuel. Evenually, Bill finds something, but he can't see, so he asks Graeme to drop a match though the opening, which Graeme does. They both suddenly realise, too late, that having a lit match is very dangerous amongst the oil that Bill has found. All of a sudden there is a terrific roar and the lighthouse takes off at enormous speed. This 'event' causes varied reactions, including:
- news broadcasts about the taking off of a 'rocket';
- the Aliens are already here group is also excited, noting that a crew member was seen at a "porthole" of a "rocket" (the "alien crew member" actually being Tim, who is sitting in the lighthouse bathtub near the bathroom window of the lighthouse, and whose pink-coloured bathcap is mistakenly thought to be a space helmet).
- great excitement from an astronomer (Patrick Moore) about the newly discovered comet;
After a while, the lighthouse slows down enough to go into orbit around the Earth — but, where will the lighthouse eventually land?
[edit] Song written by Bill
The "Jollyrock Lighthouse Shanty"
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- Tim (speaking): "Oh look, here's one about our lighthouse!"
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- Tim, Graeme and Bill (singing):
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- "Oh the winds they do blow, and the seas they do roar
- When you're stuck on a lighthouse, ten miles from the shore.
- But you've heard of the Jollyrock, of that I am sure.
- Go there and your loved ones, will see you no more."
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- Tim (singing):
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- "Oh, don't go to the Jollyrock, whatever you do.
- I wouldn't go near it if I was you."
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- Graeme (singing):
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- "So away from the Jollyrock I advise you to race.
- It's utterly appalling and not at all nice."
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- Bill (singing):
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- "For nasty things happen there, it's such a disgrace.
- 'Cause people get killed there all over the place!"
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- Tim, Graeme and Bill (singing):
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- "Oh, don't go to the Jollyrock, whatever you do.
- I wouldn't go near it, if I was you."
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- Tim (speaking): "Oh, the next verse is censored because it's too horrible even to talk about!"
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- Graeme (singing):
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- "Well blood will run cold , and your heart fill with dread.
- For the Jollyrock is plagued with the souls of the dead!"
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- Bill (singing):
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- "If you stay there one night, you'll go clean off your head.
- And no time at all, you will probably catch mumps."
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- Bill (speaking): "That doesn't even rhyme!"
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[edit] Spoof
- *Carousel" (the theme music the carousel)
[edit] External link
| The Goodies | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tim Brooke-Taylor — Graeme Garden — Bill Oddie | ||||
