Lawyer joke

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lawyer jokes are a species of professional humor. Much of the humor is based on a belief that lawyers, like many other professionals, arrange the system more for their own benefit than for the common good which they are supposed to serve.

[edit] Anecdotal history

Disdain for the legal profession includes many historical anecdotes:

• Shakespeare,
  • In his depiction of Cade's rebellion in Henry VI, Part 2 is the well-known line, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." Although this is usually interpreted to be antagonistic to lawyers, others have seen that the text of the play makes clear that precisely the opposite meaning is intended. Cade seeks to cement his revolution by destroying the justice system.
  • In The Merchant of Venice, the heroine Portia saves the life of her husband's uncle by astute lawyering
  • Hamlet's remarks about lawyers in the Graveyard scene are harsh.

There are many colloquial synonyms for lawyers:

• Ambulance chaser: a derisive term that refers to an unethical lawyer, who 'chases' acccident victims for their business.
• Mouthpiece: referring to the practice of lawyers speaking for their clients

Lawyers themselves frequently write humorously about their profession:

• A list of such articles is here: [1].
• Rumpole of the Bailey is a series of humorous works by British lawyer Sir John Mortimer
• Supernatural Law is a humorous comic concerning "Wolff and Byrd, Counselors of the Macabre".

[edit] Examples

Examples of Lawyer jokes follow:

This type of joke relies for its humor on some characteristic of lawyers, other than simple dislike for them, or some terminology associated with that profession:

A priest, a lawyer and a rabbi are marooned on a desert island surrounded by man-eating sharks. After a while their food and water run out and they are in danger of death. Just then an otherwise empty rowboat containing a large barrel of water comes floating by. The three castaways are in agony - they must have the water, but to swim through the hungry sharks is certain death. The lawyer says he will try it - the others beg him not to, saying "It's hopeless".

The lawyer swims out to the boat, grasps the painter rope in his teeth and tows it back to shore. The sharks completely ignore him. When he gets back to shore they all begin talking at once:

PRIEST: It's a miracle! It's a miracle!.

LAWYER: That was no miracle.

RABBI: Well, what DO you call it?.

LAWYER: Where I come from, we call that professional courtesy.

Q: What do you call a male lawyer with an IQ of 60 who is wearing a black dress?

A: Your honor.