Jonathan Christian Webster

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Jonathan Christian Webster III (also known as J.C.) is a frequent caller to the radio talk show Coast to Coast AM. He purports to be the leader of a Christian religious group called CLAMP, the Christian Legion Against Media Pornography.

Contents

[edit] Origins

J.C. is a self-professed Christian fundamentalist who began calling Coast to Coast AM in April 1996. He claims to be in "direct communication" with the Lord, transcribing "The New Revelation." Also claiming to be "God's ten-star general in the war against media pornography," J.C. has been on the air over 35 times. Because of his prolific calling and well-enunciated unusual views, he has been allowed to speak with other callers as well. During his interview in 1997, J.C. gave his full name which Art Bell blocked out, saying, "We never allow last names on the air so we're going to have to call you by a nickname. How about J.C.?" His full name is later given as "Jonathan Christian Webster the Third" in e-mails written to Bell in 2002 by Edna Pringle, whom J.C. later said on-air was "a disciple" and "servant" of his. Prior to his first interview J.C. was known as "The Devil's Mouthpiece Caller" because of his continually accusing Bell of being "The Devil's Mouthpiece".

Although some critics believe that J.C.'s calls are "arranged" by the producers of the show, or could be a joke played by a friend of Art Bell, "Phil Hendrie". Art Bell repeated on the October 20 and the November 10, 2006 shows what he has said in the past, that J.C. is not in any way affiliated with the show, and is just someone that has called in for years. "He is what he is," Bell said, "and I assure you J.C. is very real."

[edit] Beliefs and opinions

J.C. has a reputation for speaking very quickly while sounding quite impassioned and quarrelsome, which, along with the nature of many of his statements, is often entertaining to radio listeners. He asserts his belief in a wide variety of disparate topics, including:

  • That global warming is being caused by the pornographers' souls stoking the fires of hell, which is at the center of Earth. The heat is then radiating out into the atomsphere, and the planet is consequently becoming warmer.
  • That he is God's ten-star general in the war against media pornography.
  • That God speaks to him daily (in J.C.'s words: "I have direct communication with the Lord"), and gives him commandments for every situation (almost all of these are prohibitions against various vices, particularly pertaining to food and sex). In addition, after J.C.'s appearance on Coast to Coast AM on October 4, 2002, his "associate" Edna Pringle sent an e-mail to Art Bell with a list of the "New Commandments".
  • That Art Bell is somehow associated with Satan (it appears at times that he believes that Bell actually is the devil himself, though other times it is suggested that Bell merely works for him; by these statements, J.C. could claim both positions, making Art Bell perfectly possessed); usually, J.C. refers to Art as "the devil's mouthpiece".
  • That the weeknight host of Coast to Coast AM, George Noory, has a criminal past in the St. Louis "underworld" (possibly suggesting mob ties), and has stolen money from Art Bell's wallet -- either $20 or $50, depending on which of J.C.'s rants is heard. During one of his calls, J.C. accused George Noory of having "goons" and using them to force radio stations to carry Coast to Coast AM. J.C. asserted that Noory's goons, aside from ensuring that Coast to Coast AM is carried on many radio stations, also mobbed radio show host Rusty Humphries in a parking lot.
  • That the Soviet Union still exists, and is allied with Canada (though J.C. sometimes says England) against the United States now. Glasnost never happened, and a sign of Art Bell's treachery was that he modified his position from being conservative during the days of the Soviet Union to being a "little more liberal" now.
  • That the Food Network is "food porn", because it inspires gluttony and self-indulgence. J.C. also has particular ire for the television program Iron Chef, because of its connection to William Shatner (see below).
  • That Canada "has declared open war on America" due to Canada's legalization of gay marriage.
  • That Canada is using science fiction to somehow destroy the United States, citing William Shatner's Canadian nationality and the fact that the X-Files is filmed in Canada.
  • That women are to be put in the traditional subservient position within a family unit; particularly, at his feet, given that he believes that he is "the bearer of The New Revelation".
  • That the devil will beat people up and then eat them, and, after digesting them, deposit them in the "boiling pits of sewage". With this view, J.C. seems to believe in, aside from the imminent tangibility of Satan, the popular myth of Satan as presently ruling over a subterranean Hell.
  • That cats are demonic entities (as are French poodles; this is because they are French) -- more precisely, cats are the "familiars of Satan" in his mind. He talks about chasing (and shooting at) cats in the woods around his compound to scare them away.
  • That the cell-holders and interrogators at the Abu Ghraib prison are not to blame for their acts of torture, but were rather the product of BDSM pornography, having influenced the military of the United States. This seems contradictory, since to J.C. everyone else is accountable for their sins, even with the assumption that pornography was the prime cause, but the suspects in the torture are exempt, evidently, by being in the U.S. military.
  • That all "book-learning" is evil, which seems to be a remnant of anti-humanist feelings dating back to the 16th Century, which was primarily Roman Catholic. JC has chanted "Less book-learnin'! More book burnin'!"
  • That the Addams Family depicts a Satanic family and is part of Hollywood's scheme to promote Satanism, and was engineered by the Soviet Union as a way to bring about the downfall of America.
  • That Mel Gibson was 100% correct on his statements, and claimed Gibson was hounded down by Hollywood and the media, because Gibson directed and produced the movie The Passion of the Christ.
  • Enjoys using (and seemingly inventing some) words such as insultation, insinuitize, impostulating, and disgustating.
  • That Art Bell is responsible for the deaths of the members of the Heaven's Gate cult in 1997, after the passage of comet Hale-Bopp.
  • That Roman Catholics are "full of spirits" and are "demon worshippers".
  • In a show that aired in August 2006, J.C. called host Ian Punnett (sitting in for Noory) during an open-line segment. Although on record for saying he kind of liked Punnett until finding out Punnett was an Episcopalian priest, when J.C. expressed his belief that all Episcopalians are "going to Hell." J.C. also said he was coming after announcer Ross Mitchell (who has recently been filling in on Coast to Coast Live) and also continued his insults towards former C2C host Mike Siegel, who hosted the show from 2000-2001. J.C. also suggested that the crackdown of food or drink on airline flights was a good thing, and went as far as saying mothers shouldn't even be allowed to serve Cheerios to children on the flights, noting that 'women belong at home' and not traveling, and also that Cherrios are 'gluttoning' food.
  • That Star Trek is pornographic and that it is part of the New World Order.
  • That Edna Pringle has run away with a man on a motorcyle and that George Noory has somehow caused it.
  • That Alaska is a sleeper state for Russian agents.
  • That lesbians hold "Tupperware parties" to seduce women away from their husbands.

Based on the above views, and others he has given on the air, J.C. does not seem to hold the views of the general Christian community. Even given his emphasis on works over faith many Fundamentalists and Catholics alike would consider his attitude, if not his legalism, on the fringe. It could be implied that J.C.'s views seem to be a composite of various medieval superstitions and anti-Christian stereotypes, suggesting to some that he may not be genuine.

[edit] CLAMP

J.C. claims to be the leader of CLAMP (an acronym for Christian Legion Against Media Pornography), as well as being a closely guarded individual who spends most of his time in his "compound", which seems to be located somewhere in the western United States. During JC's August 21, 2005 interview, J.C. stated he was moving to Idaho, and in August 2006 stated that Edna Pringle's theft of $10,000 was forcing CLAMP to delay their move to Idaho. CLAMP can be reached at boilingpitsofsewage@yahoo.com, which is an e-mail address J.C. gave out on the air during his interview in 2005.

An e-mail sent to this address gave the following auto-reply on November 3, 2005:[citation needed]

THE DEBIL DESTROYED OUR YOOHO GROUP OR edna hit a wrong key so our NEW WEEBSIT WILL BE UP SOON!
J.C.'S LOVE !!!!ND ISPIRATION TO CHANGE YOUR WRETCHED WAYS
!*****SOON J.C'S WISDOM WILL BE MADE AVAILBLE ON TAPES !THAT RIGHT THE
ONCE SECRET SERMUNS ONLY AVAIL TO CLAMP MEMEBERS WILL BE MADE PUBICL
FOR THE FIRST TIME!!******!
IF YOU A FILTHY SINNER YOU CANT HAVE EM!!!!!
- KC CHRISTIAN
following the
GREAT AND HONORABL J.C. WEBSTER THE THIRD!

[edit] Calls

J.C. is known to have called into Coast to Coast AM on the following dates. A brief summary of each call follows.

[edit] 1996

  • April 20 -- J.C.'s first call in to the show
  • July (at some point shortly after the 17th) -- J.C. urges listeners to trust the government
  • August 29 -- J.C. says Art sells secrets to the Soviets
  • September 19 -- J.C. comments on homosexuals

[edit] 1997

[edit] 1998

[edit] 1999

  • July 14 -- J.C.'s second time taking calls from listeners. Accuses Art of sneaking around outside in his bushes.
  • August 22 -- J.C. calls Art from a cell phone. Accuses Art of tracking his land line.

[edit] 2000

No calls. This was while Mike Siegel hosted the show.

[edit] 2001

[edit] 2002

  • Unknown date -- J.C. calls Art to comment on his music, Johnny Cash, Lee Hazlewood, the "Great Lie" (the theory of evolution), and Bigfoot families
  • February 4 -- J.C. calls Dr. Greg Little
  • October 4 -- J.C. reveals the New Commandments. Shortly after this call, Art began posting e-mails on his website from Edna Pringle, who claimed to be writing on behalf of J.C.

[edit] 2003

No calls. This was when George Noory took over hosting duties full-time. For some reason, J.C. only deigned to speak with Art Bell; in an e-mail from Edna to Art that Art read on-air just before J.C.'s call of August 21, 2005, J.C. admonished Art to not give out his phone number to either George Noory or Mike Siegel. Art only began hosting the show again on weekends beginning in September 2003.

[edit] 2004

  • May 30 -- J.C. calls in about Abu Ghraib and talks about Edna

[edit] 2005

  • February 6 -- J.C. comments on those who make deals with the devil, and how media is trying to "homosexualize America."
  • May 8 -- J.C. talks about global warming being caused by souls stoking the fires of Hell. How pornography causes "self abuse" through masturbation. Praises "our glorious oil companies."
  • August 21 -- J.C.'s third time taking calls from listeners. Art reads a letter from Edna demanding J.C. "be given full honors as guest". She leaves a number for J.C. who "will come down from his mountain compound to take the call." Art then calls J.C. This took up the first full hour of the show.
  • August 25 -- J.C. calls George Noory for the first time. Says Edna "is going through a difficult trial of the spirit right now." Claims to have pictures of George and Art peeping into 83 year-old Edna's bathroom window.
  • August 26 -- George replays J.C. hour of August 21, calling it a "classic."
  • October 14 -- J.C. calls in with an "emergency situation": that Edna had left the compound "stealing $10,000 of the Lord's money" and left with a biker "on a motorsickle."
  • October 19 -- Woman claiming to be Edna Pringle calls George intent on clearing her name. She said the $10,000 was hers to begin with, and she only stayed on the motorcycle "long enough to get out of there."

[edit] 2006

[edit] Other radio shows

J.C. has allegedly been calling other talk radio shows as well. Someone sounding very much like J.C. (in both voice and message) has been heard calling Air America, where the caller is referred to as "the Reverend".

[edit] Bibliography

[edit] Parodies of J.C.

The humor website Fark.com hosted a J.C. parody sound editing contest with the instruction: "AudioEdit this hilarious preacher dude into a most excellent dance mix". The results were made public on Wednesday, Sep 6 2006 at 6:55 PM (EST), and are viewable here.

[edit] External links

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org../../../j/o/n/Jonathan_Christian_Webster_7025.html"