Joe Shlabotnik
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Joe Shlabotnik is an unseen baseball player in the world of Charles M. Schulz's long-running comic strip, Peanuts. Charlie Brown considers Joe his favorite player, and spends much of his free time trying to hunt down Joe memorabilia – baseball cards, autographs, personal meetings, etc. Charlie Brown even organized a Joe Shlabotnik Fan Club, complete with a newsletter that folded after one issue. Linus once invited Shlabotnik to a testimonial dinner for Charlie Brown; unfortunately, the ballplayer got lost en route from his day job at a car wash. Another time he was scheduled to appear at a sports banquet where fans could dine with their favorite athletes (the guest list included Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Jack Nicklaus, and Peggy Fleming), and Charlie Brown, Linus, and Snoopy bought tickets to sit at Joe's table. He was the only athlete who didn't show up, explaining later that he had marked the wrong event, city, and date on his calendar.
Shlabotnik was demoted to the minor leagues after hitting .004 over an entire season; his one hit was a bloop single with his team comfortably ahead. One time he promised to hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth; he popped out instead, but circled the bases anyway. His greatest achievements included making spectacular plays on routine fly balls and throwing out a runner who had fallen down between first and second.
After being sent down to Stumptown of the Green Grass League, Shlabotnik eventually retired as a player and agreed to manage the Waffletown Syrups. Sadly, Joe was fired after only one game, after calling for a squeeze play—with no one on base.
The name "Joseph Schlabotnik" (note spelling) had earlier been used in Peanuts in the strip of 22 February 1957, when Schroeder mentions a pianist, "the incomparable Joseph Schlabotnik", whom he later admits to having made up.
