Jesus Can't Play Rugby
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Jesus Can't Play Rugby is a popular rugby song that is in the vulgar tradition of rugby songs. As with any rugby song, it is tongue-in-cheek and if you're offended, then the song has done its duty. It is sung at socials among teams of many nations at nearly every level of competition. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]
Sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic
CHORUS: Free beer for all the ruggers! Free beer for all the ruggers. Free beer for all the ruggers,
Jesus can't play rugby 'cause:
- the ball goes through his hands (x3).
- his dad will fix the game (x3).
- the Jew won't pay his dues (x3).
- he wears illegal headgear (x3).
- he wears illegal spikes (x3).
- he's only got 12 men (x3).
- the goalposts give him flashbacks (x3).
- he can't support a hooker (x3).
- his feet are nailed together (x3).
- he has open wounds (x3).
- he is fu**ing dead (x3). (can also be sung as 'the motherfu**er's dead)
Jesus can't play touch judge:
- 'cause his arms'll go both ways (x3).
Jesus Can't! Jesus Can't! Jesus Can't! CHORUS (repeat until you've run out of verses)
(everyone should kneel down and do the Sign of the Cross) Jesus, we're only kidding! Jesus, we're only kidding! Jesus, we're only kidding! Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.
