I'm OK, You're OK
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I'm OK, You're OK (later republished as I'm OK- You're OK, ISBN 0-380-00772-X) by author Thomas Anthony Harris, is one of the most successful self-help books ever published. It was originally published in 1969 by Harper & Row, and gradually grew in popularity until it made the New York Times bestseller list in 1972, where it remained for almost two years. It is still in print, published by Harpercollins, and is estimated to have sold over 15 million copies to date. It has been translated into over a dozen languages.
Dr. Harris was a long-time friend and associate of Dr. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, beginning when both men were among the few psychiatrists in the US military. Dr. Harris was also a founding member of Berne's San Francisco Transactional Analysis Seminar, which met weekly for over a decade, and which developed the core concepts of TA. A Teaching Member of the International Transactional Analysis Association, Dr. Harris was an early advocate for group therapy and TA over traditional psychoanalytic practice, which he trained for under Harry Stack Sullivan.
Contents |
[edit] Transactional Analysis
Harris introduces Transactional Analysis in this book, which was subtitled in the US "A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis". Intended for the average reader, the book's early chapters lay out some of the theory behind TA in a simplified form before going on to practical applications as befits a self-help book. The phase "I'm OK, You're OK" is one of four life positions that each of us may take. The four positions are:
- I'm Not OK, You're OK
- I'm Not OK, You're Not OK
- I'm OK, You're Not OK
- I'm OK, You're OK
The most common position is "I'm Not OK, You're OK". As children we see that adults are large, strong and competent and that we are little, weak and often make mistakes, so we conclude "I'm Not OK, You're OK". Children who are abused may conclude "I'm OK, You're Not OK", but this is much less common. The focus of the book is helping people understand how their life position affects their communications (transactions) and relationships with practical examples.
[edit] Criticism
Many people find the first three chapters, which provide theory and definitions, slow going. After that the pace quickens. Some of the many examples are dated, so the reader needs to work harder to understand their meaning.
The non-religious and non-Christian may also be put off by the effort late in the book to relate the I'm OK, You're OK position to some religious concepts. Those highly critical of the work and its philosophy generally found the book too simplistic, and found its attempt to offer a universal panacea unappealing.
This book is not an academic or theoretical introduction to Transactional Analysis, and will disappoint those desiring one. Nor does it deal with advanced topics in psychopathology. Transactional Analysis can be a very insightful and subtle tool, and this book covers only a few of its many applications. It is a mass-market book and it has the plusses (accessibility, practicality) and negatives (simplification, shallowness) of that approach.
[edit] Influence
The title of the book has since passed into common usage, although often as a dismissive categorization of all pop psychology philosophies as being overly accepting. The phrase I'm OK, You're OK is almost a universal cliche in Anglophone culture, at least among an older generation more accustomed to hearing the phrase.
- Punk rock band The Dickies had a song called "I'm OK, You're OK."
- A side-project of MxPx called The Cootees also had a song called "I'm OK, You're OK," criticizing pediatric psychology in general. (this song was later "covered" by MxPx themselves)
- The Foo Fighters released a 1995 MTV concert from England called "I'm OK, Eur OK."
