Hol (role-playing game)

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HoL: Human Occupied Landfill
Image:RPG_HoL_cover.jpg
Designer(s) Todd Shaughnessy, Daniel Thron, Chris Elliott
Publisher(s) Black Dog Game Factory
Publication date 1994 (1st edition)
September 1, 2002 (2nd edition)
Genre(s) Science fiction, comedy
System Custom

HoL (sometimes written as "HōL") is a Role Playing Game created by the Dirt Merchant Games and produced by Black Dog Game Factory (a subsidiary of White Wolf for the production of adult oriented RPGs). The HoL Core Rulebook was published in 1994, and was followed up by one other supplement Buttery Wholesomeness in 1995. Although Hol is playable, the concept behind it is pretty much a joke. The pages of the books are written by hand, and the authors freely take stabs at other popular role-playing games, (particularly Vampire: The Masquerade and Dungeons and Dragons), and those who play them.

Contents

[edit] Background

Hol is a science fiction game set in the very distant future where mankind has colonized the entire galaxy. Characters in the game have been either trapped or imprisoned on the planet HoL (The Human Occupied Landfill), which is located outside the galaxy as far away as possible from everyone else. HoL is a penal colony for the scum of the galaxy as seen in the eyes of the C.O.W. (Confederation of Worlds), which is the ruling government body of the human territories.

Over the centuries, humanity has colonized space through the use of the Quazi-Dimensional stardrive, which is powered by energy produced through the mating rituals of Jumpslugs, giant slugs that feed on human corpses and are tended by social rejects in full-body containment suits. The enemy of C.O.W. are the aliens known as the S.N.E.E. who constantly plot to take over the universe.

The C.O.W. also uses HoL as a dumping ground for trash, so the entire landscape is covered with mountains of rotting debris; from candy bar wrappers and starship hulls, to toxic nuclear waste and used medical syringes. HoL is a breeding ground for cute little blobous creatures called Wastems, which characters can capture as pets, eat as a tasty pudding snacks, or use for target practice. Beware of the ones with an evil gleam in their eye, however, for it could be a Wastit; the carnivorous man-eating version of the timid creatures. Not every critter on HoL is cute and furry, especially the subterranean horrors called Fleshtenders. Victims of Fleshtenders (who happen to survive) only remember seeing is two evil eyes and very big teeth. HoL is also a cesspool of gangs and criminal psychopaths.

Given this world of "kill or be killed", the main goals of characters in HoL is survival and finding a way out. They can be attacked at anytime by just about anything from axe wielding maniacs to mutant creatures. It is a place of all kinds of unimaginable horror, and entertainment. The latter is enjoyed by the citizens of C.O.W. who like to spend their free time watching holographic channels dedicated to the viewing of the non stop slaughter via explosive, robotic cameras called Crickets.

Although it is never verified in any of the Hol game books, some fans of the game have speculated that Hol was once Earth.

[edit] Overview of Game Mechanics

This is just a few samples of the Hol core rules. The actual books are required to fully enjoy and play the game. Hol uses only two six-sided dice (2d6) for all task and combat resolutions. The Game Master in HoL, is known as the Holmeister.

[edit] Making Characters

The HoL core rulebook doesn't provide a system of character generation, instead offering a set of pregeneated characters including a pedophile priest, a gamer geek, Elvis Presley and parodies of two Marvel Comics superheroes, the Silver Surfer and the Incredible Hulk.

The Buttery Wholesomeness supplement provides the rules for creating new characters of the player's design. With that book, players pick a Totem that list the basic personality of their character. Picking the "Bush Baby" Totem for example, creates fast, nimble characters. Those of the "Sloth" Totem, are generally smart but slow and lazy in action. The character creation system is as much of a disturbing joke as the system, full of charts that tell you to roll on other charts, and like the character generation system of Traveller (of which it is a parody), your character can die during creation.

[edit] Stats

A character in Hol has five Stats. Stats are rated from -2 (terrible) to +10 (ungodly). Higher and lower ratings are possible. The five Stats are as follows:

  • Greymatta: The character's intellectual capacity (if they have any)
  • Meat: The character's physical strength
  • Feets: The character's dexterity
  • Mouth: The character's charisma
  • Nuts: The character's spiritual resolve

[edit] Skills

Each stat has a number of skills associated with it. Existing in a world of senseless violence, most skills in Hol are simply there to better bash someone's head in, or blast them to oblivion with weapons. Some useful skills are as follows:

  • Operate Starship and Chew Gum at the Same Time: A Greymatta skill that says it all.
  • Repair Toasters and Stuff: A Greymatta skill for fixing things.
  • Turn Radios into Howitzers: A Greymatta skill for MacGyvering things.
  • Organize Fundraiser: The art of coaxing money and other goodies out of people.
  • Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist: The Meat skill for bashing skulls in unarmed.
  • Making Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed: Self explanatory.
  • Scathing Sarcasm: A Mouth skill for humiliating your foes into piles of tears.
  • Whining Until You Get What You Want: Forces victims to give into your demands.
  • That Psycho Bruce Lee Shit: A Meat skill for dazzling your enemy with martial arts.
  • Withstand/Enjoy Hellish Agony: A Nuts skill for remaining conscious after being tortured by watching Barney the Dinosaur for 24 hours straight.
  • Spot Wastit: Only useful if you enjoy keeping your face intact.

[edit] Task Resolution

Rolling for a task resolution involves using two six-sided dice (or 2d6) and adding Stat Rating + Skill Rating to the die roll for a total. The total roll is consulted on the General Chart, (just one of many charts in Hol), which indicates whether a task failed or succeeded. A character rolls against a difficulty modifier set by the Holmeister. Difficulty typically scales between +4 (Easier than a Cheap Streetwalker), to -4 (Bogusly Difficult), although higher and lower modifiers are possible. The player rolls 2d6 and adds their character's Stat rating and related Skill values to the roll for the total result. Any resolutions totaling 15 and above are successes. Totals of 14 and lower are all failures.

Die rolls of 2, "Snake Eyes", are always a very, very bad thing, (no matter the bonuses), and results in the whatever bad things the twisted mind of the Holmeister decides to inflict upon the character. Players may also randomly roll to determine the character's fate on another chart where they might get lucky and only snap a groin muscle.

Die rolls of 12, "Box Cars", are always a very good thing and allow the player to reroll the dice and add it to the twelve they've just rolled. Rerolls also add a point to the "Grace of God" Pool which can save your character's ass in moments of certain death. Multiple rerolls are possible, as is getting a snake eyes on a reroll.

[edit] Combat

When two HoL characters meet, they usually end up trying to kill each other, so combat is just one of those things a character could face every minute of their HoL life. As in most RPG systems, opposing forces roll for initiative, (a d6 roll + Feets Stat), to see who goes first.

There are two kinds of attacks in Hol, Melee (with hand-to-hand weapons), and Ranged (with projectile weapons). Attackers attack, and Defenders either Dodge or Parry the attack. The Attacker rolls Stat + Skill + 2d6 to attack, rolling on the Combat Chart (which is similar to the General Chart, i.e. rolls lower than 15 miss). The total attack roll is modified by the Defender's Feets Stat, (which is the total Difficulty Modifier against the attack) plus any other modifiers the Holmeister sees fit, (like cover).

Range attacks are modified by range. Things that are really close get a +4 bonus to hit, and extremely far get a -4 (or less) penalty.

[edit] Damage

Weapons in HoL can be anything; a rolled-up newspaper, broken bottle, Enemy-B-GoneTM, Kitty Kitty Bang BangsTM or whatever. Every weapon has an Anguish Value and a Damage Number. Anguish Values are rated from 1 (staple in a finger) to 20 (Unprotected Re-entry into the Atmosphere). The higher the number the more the weapon "hurts" the character, and is strictly for the enjoyment of role-playing. Damage Numbers have no upper limit.

Everyone in HoL has 20 Wound Levels that start at zero and increase per how much damage they have taken. To figure out damage, the character's Meat Stat + Armor Value (if any) is subtracted from the weapon's Anguish Value. Once that number is determined the character finds the number on a Damage Multiplier Chart and rolls a d6 to determine the intensity of the multiplier of the weapon's Damage Number. The weapon's Damage Number is then multiplied that many times (from x1 to x5) and added to the character's current Wound Level.

Characters suffer Stat penalties that worsen per how many Wounds Levels they have taken. At 5 Wounds they suffer -1 to all rolls, at 10 Wounds they are "smoking the pain pipe" and suffer -2 penalties; at 14 Wounds they need a doctor and suffer -3 penalties; at 15 Wounds they are "feasting with agony" and suffer -4 penalties; at 16 Wounds they are feeling imminent doom and suffer -5, at 17 to 19 Wounds they are unconscious, and at 20 Wounds it's the Big Dirt Nap!

[edit] Rewards

Surviving is the best reward. Still a generous Holmeister can reward players Kudos, which can raise a Skill point by one or add another level one Skill to a character's sheet. They can also reward Prickudos that can raise a Stat by one.

[edit] Details for the first edition

[edit] Credits

  • Name Credit
  • Todd Shaughnessy Author
  • Daniel Thron Author
  • Chris Elliott Author
  • Daniel Thron Interior Artist
  • Chris Elliott Interior Artist
  • Simon Kono Cover Artist
  • Simon Kono Back Cover Artist
  • Chris Elliott Cover Design
  • Daniel Thron Cover Design
  • Glen Wheldon Cover Design
  • Todd Shaughnessy Cover Design
  • Glen Wheldon Additional Design

[edit] Details for the second edition

The second edition was expanded by four pages. Its reprinted by The Cabil.

[edit] Credits

  • Christopher Elliott
  • Todd Shaughnessy
  • Daniel Thron

[edit] Listing of Available HoL Products

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