Haley Starshine
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Haley Starshine is a major character in the webcomic, The Order of the Stick, written by Rich Burlew. She is a 24-year-old red-haired human rogue.
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[edit] Character History
[edit] The Thieves Guild
Few details have yet emerged about Haley's childhood. What is known is that she is the daughter of Ian Starshine (her mother is apparently deceased) and that, at the age of 15, she was a goth, referring to herself as "Dark Mistress Shadowgale". On one occasion she lamented that all good people (the names Kyran and Rachel were mentioned) in her life left her when they found out what she was really like and that she must thus conceal her true nature.
She joined the Thieves Guild at the age of 17, her father having given them special permission to train her. Her skills developed quickly and she became a favourite of the guildmaster who considered her to be one of his best earners, as well he might, given that the Guild automatically took half of any take, then added on as many fees as possible, so that Haley's earnings after stealing a diamond worth six thousand gold pieces eventually amounted to the princely sum of fifty-eight gold and three copper pieces.
Around eight months prior to the events of the webcomic, Haley received a letter from the land of Tyrinaria, in which she was informed that her father had been imprisoned for life for 'crimes against the government'. She was also informed that if she, as her father's only living relative, paid them the sum of 200,000 gold pieces, then they would consider granting her father clemency.
Realising that she would never be able to raise that sort of amount working for the Thieves Guild (due to the absurd fees they charged), Haley immediately quit and left town to avoid any retribution from the guildmaster.
[edit] Pre-Order Adventuring
Haley became an adventurer, which she swiftly found to be far more profitable, both in terms of gold and experience, rising four experience levels in only six months, which was more experience than she'd gained in six years as a regular burglar.
Drinking in a tavern after one quest, Haley made the acquaintance of Vaarsuvius, an elven wizard who had just been disqualified from a magical tournament after accidentally destroying the stadium. The two debated the relative merits of adventuring over research and Haley eventually persuaded the skeptical elf to accompany her to the local adventurer's tavern to see what work might be available.
At the tavern, Haley encountered Roy Greenhilt, a fighter who was assembling a party to locate and destroy a Lich, Xykon. Using a combination of bluffing and a hastily forged Thieves Guild membership card, Haley persuaded Roy to take her on. She also recommended Vaarsuvius as a possible party member, a suggestion which Roy followed.
[edit] Gains and Losses
Throughout their adventures, Haley has been an almost quintessential rogue, taking every opportunity to acquire treasure, preferably in such a manner that she could deny that she'd found anything to avoid having to share it. She was the first to distrust the Linear Guild, taking an almost immediate dislike to them (particularly Sabine, her opposite number) and was instrumental in foiling their plans after Roy realised that a cryptic prophesy given to him by his father referred to her and told her to attempt a seemingly impossible shot, which obligingly struck true.
Haley was also instrumental in foiling Xykon's plan, after she used her feminine wiles to get information from one of his goblin minions. Realising that Xykon actually wanted the team to open the gate on the lowest level of the dungeon, Haley was able to stop Elan the bard from doing so at the last minute.
Haley took control of the party briefly when Elan was captured by a group of bandits and Roy elected not to try to rescue him. Haley rallied the remainder of the party and went to the bard's rescue. Somewhat appalled to find Elan, who she had developed feelings for, romancing the female bandit leader, Haley challenged her to a duel for leadership of the bandit group. Unfortunately, her opponent, an experienced sorceror, defeated her readily, and it was only Roy's intervention that saved them all from execution.
Shortly afterwards, Haley was eaten by a dragon, although she was saved by Vaarsuvius, who forced the dragon to vomit her up again. Critically injured and believing that she was dying, Haley began to tell Elan that she was in love with him, but was interrupted by a Cure spell from Durkon Thundershield, leading her to change the ending of the sentence and leaving the confused bard under the impression that his teammate was in love with ukuleles. The sheer size of the dragon's hoard, however, was more than enough to restore her spirits.
Loading up their treasure on carts that Haley had stowed away in her impressive collection of eight bags of holding, the team aimed to return to town, only to be waylaid en route by Miko Miyazaki, a paladin of the Sapphire Guard of Azure City, who had come to arrest them for crimes against existence. Tempted to simply up and leave when Miko ordered them to accompany her to her city, Haley was persuaded to stay by Durkon. Staying in an inn on the way, a complex series of events led to the almost complete destruction of the establishment, plus all the treasure that the Order had carefully stored away in the vault there. The psychological shock of losing all their hard-earned treasure hit Haley so hard that she now speaks only in cryptograms.
[edit] Azure City
Finally arriving in Azure City, the Order were put on trial and, to everybody's surprise, were found not guilty. Haley swiftly figured out that the seemingly senile Lord Shojo, the city's ruler, was, in fact, still entirely in command of his senses (although she had more than a little difficulty in communicating this to Roy). The entire trial turned out to have been a sham to get the Order to Azure City, where Lord Shojo asked them to investigate the other gates scattered around the world.
As a boon, Lord Shojo ordered his best clerics to examine Haley to see if they could determine the cause (and, thus, any possible cure) for her speech disorder. They came to the conclusion that it was caused by an excess amount of stress caused by keeping secrets. Whether this is related to her hiding her love for Elan, to keeping her father's situation secret from her teammates or is simply due to her being a rogue is, as yet, unrevealed.
Deciding to face the problem directly, Haley decided to tell Elan about her feelings for him. Over the course of a meal to celebrate the New Year, she told him, but this failed to cure the problem and, because of her disorder, Elan didn't understand anyway. In an effort to try to find out which of her assorted secrets might be behind it, she proceeded to tell Elan about her father, that she wasn't actually a member of the Thieves Guild, that she cheats at solitaire, that she has a tattoo that he's never seen and that she's kissed a girl more than once. None of these made any difference, so she began to tell him another secret, one that she's not told anyone else, but he interrupted - all she got out (translated) was "Elan, it turns out I may not be exactly what you would call..." What this could refer to is as yet unknown.
Haley's self-loathing then manifested, appearing as her fifteen-year-old goth self. She suggested that rather than telling Elan, the best way to communicate her feelings to him was simply to kiss him, thus getting the message across without having to get around her language difficulties. The plan was put forward that she should kiss him at midnight, so that, if Elan reacted badly, she could simply dismiss the kiss as a New Year tradition. The moment arrived, but, even though Elan appeared to be waiting for her, Haley's courage failed her and before she made the move, an Azure City resident kissed him instead, leaving Haley to walk away sadly.
Since then, Haley appears to have come to terms with her problem, realising that it will be sorted out in her own time and that attempting to force the issue will do no good. Visiting the Oracle of Sunken Valley, she asked how she could restore her speech, to be told "When the gift horse comes calling, don't look it in the mouth". When The Order subsequently returned to Azure City after their adventure in Cliffport, Nale, disguised as Elan and having figured out that Haley has feelings for his brother, asked Haley out because Sabine was visiting the Lower Planes and he was bored. Haley's embodiment of self-loathing distrusted Nale's offer citing the fact that "Elan" was suave, romantic and his vocabulary was higher than normal. Even though she acknowledged that "Elan" was not acting normal, Haley ignored her mental embodiments and decided to go on the date anyway. Her acceptance despite her misgivings would seem to match the Oracle's reply regarding the return of her speech, but the course of events that may lead to this has yet to occur in full.
The date seemingly went fairly well, despite an initial mistake by Nale who was unaware of her speech problem. The pair ended up back in a bedroom, where Haley happily accepted a kiss from "Elan", unaware that Nale was holding a dagger and was about to stab her with it. His plan was interrupted when first the jealous Sabine burst in through the door, then the real Elan swung in dramatically through the window, followed, bizarrely, by Thog dressed as a leprechaun. Haley was left in utter shock at this turn of events.
[edit] Personality, Traits and Abilities
In common with many fictional rogues, Haley is secretive, deceptive, manipulative but essentially good-hearted. She is obsessed with the acquisition of wealth, at one point speaking to a treasure horde as if it were her child and is not remotely above conning her teammates in order to get a larger share than they do. She generally seems to get along with men much better than women, being quite happy to use her feminine wiles on them to get her way. Haley is beautiful and is moderately vain about it. Her considerable skill at deception and a somewhat suspicious nature gives her a good ability at seeing through other people's deceptions. She is the person in the party that is best at "getting", "seeing through" and "figuring out" people. When several parts of her personality manifested we learned that she is latently bisexual. However her latent bisexuality is rudely snubbed by her self-loathing and goes to sulk in a corner. Perhaps this suggests that her self-loathing at her latent bisexuality is the reason she has a hard time getting along with other women. Her intellect manifested with elfin ears and purple hair, perhaps symbolising that she picked up logic and analytical ways of thinking through Vaarsuvius. Oddly, her self-loathing seemed the dominant and most sensible part of her. There might be something symbolic in that.
Despite her serious problems with self-confidence Haley generally has a sunny and optimistic disposition and gets on well with her teammates. Haley is good friends with Vaarsuvius and the strip strongly suggests that the wizard is Haley's confidante. Her love for Elan is as yet unresolved, but the two are undoubtedly close and Haley will stand up for the bard against just about anybody including Vaarsuvius. She has a good working relationship with Roy and Durkon, although Roy distrusts her larcenous tendencies to the point where he shows a noticeable reluctance to let her stand guard while the rest of the party sleep. Her rogue nature means that she probably has more in common with Belkar Bitterleaf than anyone else in the party does, but their alignment differences prevent them from agreeing on too much. Varsuvius suspects that Belkar lusts for Haley and she does, on occasion, bring out unexpected sides of the ranger. On one occasion she made him feel guilty of being insensitive and prejudiced to her, the only time he has ever displayed anything resembling guilt and shame. Belkar also admits to finding it creepy that Haley polishes the party's gold daily, probably the only time he has been shown to be ill at ease.
[edit] External links
Translations For Haley's Cryto-speak
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| Characters: | Roy Greenhilt | Durkon Thundershield | Haley Starshine | Elan | Vaarsuvius | Belkar Bitterleaf | Xykon |
| Character lists: | General list | Linear Guild |
| Locations: | General list |
| Miscellaneous: | Haley's pseudo-language |
