Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner
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The Boondocks Season 1 |
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Episodes: |
"Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner" is the 3rd episode of the The Boondocks.
[edit] Plot
Huey, Riley and Grandad are at a grocery store when they come across a little boy causing a major tantrum and thoroughly embarrassing his mother, who is pleading with him to stop. Granddad hands the mother his belt to beat the child, even teaching her how to use it properly. The woman takes off after her child, and loud smacking sounds are heard off-screen, indicating that the bratty little boy is getting his just reward. Shortly after, a scantily-clad and very attractive young woman, with very large breasts, comments on Grandad's handle of the situation and strikes up a good conversation. When asked, she tells Grandad her name is Cristal "like the champagne" (this line is used often in the episode), and bends over to chat with Huey and Riley. Grandad gets behind Cristal in the checkout line and her purchases go by on the conveyor belt, which mainly consist of whipped cream, cherries, and condoms. Cristal flashes an innocent little smile at Grandad and whips out a fistful of five-dollar bills to pay for it all.
After Grandad generously helps Cristal carry her bags to her car, she asks him on a date. During the car ride back home, Riley makes several comments about Cristal being a ho. Grandad quickly gets annoyed and threatens Riley. Grandad of course hears him and begins to slap him furiously, leaning back in his seat and making the car swerve back in forth in the lane, nearly crashing them. Grandad settles back into his seat and things are quiet until Riley makes another comment, starting the cycle again.
The big date takes place at Red Lobster, where Cristal and Grandad make small talk and she seems to have some weird fixation with the cheddar biscuits. More is revealed about Cristal's personality and a bit about her past, but nothing too major. Cristal hangs onto Grandad's arm as they walk along the street back to the car, chatting endlessly about short-lived careers she tried out before, and comments that school just wasn't right for her, a hint as to what she does for a living now. Every single guy that they pass turns to stop and stare at Cristal. Both Cristal and Grandad seem oblivious to all the attention that Cristal is getting.
While Grandad is out on the date, Huey and Riley are stuck at home, and Riley strikes up a conversation about hoes. He seems to understand what a ho is, but has trouble distinguishing them from regular women. Shortly afterwards, Cristal moves into the house and quickly takes over, usually seen lazing around the house, playing Playstation with Riley (she wins, much to Riley's annoyance), or drinking orange juice straight out of the carton (Huey later burns the carton).
There are several scenes of Grandad taking Cristal shopping and forking over his credit card to pay obscene prices for Cristal's outlandish spending, then is quickly delegated to carrying her shopping bags. The song "Golddigger" by Kanye West is featured during this shopping trip. After they get home, Huey and Riley try to tell Grandad that Cristal is a prostitute; "a ho", but Grandad refuses to believe them. This continues throughout the episode, with Grandad getting angrier each time and Cristal eventually breaking out into a fake sobbing fit over it. Huey does confront Cristal about it one time, but the conversation ends with Cristal winning.
Huey and Riley want her out of their house so badly, they begin to follow Cristal by hiding in the backseat of her car and taking photos of her as she goes to the strip joint she works at and meets with her pimp. When Cristal returns, Huey and Riley show the pictures to Grandad, who inspects them. When confronted about them, Cristal squirms her way out of it with a few well-placed lies, and Grandad quickly takes her side, accusing the boys of using Photoshop to get Cristal in trouble. Shortly after, the doorbell rings and Riley goes to answer it, announcing that the visitor is a "nigga in a purple suit". Cristal quickly ducks beneath the table, looking very scared. Grandad goes to the door and comes face-to-face with Cristal's pimp, oddly named "A Pimp Named Slickback". Grandad keeps getting his name wrong (merely calling him "Slickback"), leading to a short exchange between the two.
Grandad confronts Cristal about it, leading to the confession that she is, in fact, a ho. Grandad looks very surprised, and so does Cristal, exclaiming, "I thought you knew! I mean, it was so OBVIOUS..." A Pimp Named Slickback gets annoyed with Cristal and brings his hand down to strike her, but Grandad whips his belt around Slickback's wrist and catches it in midair before he hits Cristal. Both A Pimp Named Slickback and Cristal look shocked that Grandad is still trying to help Cristal, even after she used him for her own selfish purposes.
After a bit of pleading, A Pimp Named Slickback gives the two 45 seconds (exactly) to discuss things and then he's leaving. (It actually takes about 1 min and 14 seconds) Cristal and Grandad talk quickly about the situation and Grandad offers to have Cristal live with them full-time, he'll help her get a job and everything. Cristal replies that that would be nice, and she'll go tell her pimp she's going to quit and then come right back. But before she goes out the door, she leans into Grandad and whispers into his ear, "thanks for trying to save me~!" Running out the door and leaving a surprised Grandad behind, Cristal runs up to the car but is left coughing in the dust as Slickback quickly rides off, making her run behind the car in an effort to catch up.
Grandad goes back into the house and sits down, waiting for her. The scene cuts to nighttime - Huey's coming down the stairs yawning and rubbing his eyes. He sees a light on in the living room and goes inside to Grandad sleeping on the table, a candle burning in front of him. Tissues are scattered around him, and Huey wakes him up. Grandad awakes with a start and looks around frantically, thinking that Cristal came back. Huey tells him to go to sleep and Grandad protests, saying "Don't blow out the candle! She'll think nobody's home!" The scene ends with Huey blowing out the candle, leaving the house in darkness.
[edit] Trivia
- When Cristal is at the grocery store, the back of her shorts says "House of Cheeks". That is the same name of the strip club she walks into.
- When the men are staring at Cristal and Granddad, you can see a man that looks like Jin from Samurai Champloo.
- A Pimp Named Slickback mentions the rap group A Tribe Called Quest.
- During the shopping scene, the popular song Gold Digger by Kanye West was played ironically describing Cristal.
- Katt Williams provides the voice of "A Pimp named Slickback". He also starred as another pimp, Money Mike, in Friday After Next.
[edit] Cultural References
- The title of this episode is a parody of the movie Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. The movie is about a interracial couple who bring their partner home for the first time so they can meet their parents. The remake of the movie was called Guess Who.
