GDR jokes

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The jokes of the GDR frequently included political characters, had an eye towards life in East Germany and the SED (Genossenwitze, party member jokes; Honeckerwitze, jokes about Erich Honecker), or attacked the actual or assumed characteristics of the West Germans.

Comparisons between countries were also common -- for example, between East Germany and West Germany, East Germany and the Soviet Union, between Soviet citizens (Sowjets, Russen) and Americans (Amis), between Communists and capitalists, between Genossen (members of the SED) and other social and professional groups. In particular, Volkspolizei officers were often portrayed as brainless in their respective jokes.

Radio Yerevan jokes were also in circulation, as well as jokes about the Soviets (Russenwitze), Poles (Polenwitze), and the Saxons (Sachsenwitze).

Other, general categories of jokes are also Fritzchen jokes (with an unsuspecting young boy), anti-humor, hunters' Latin and seaman's yarn cock-and-bull stories, scientific humor, and the presumably self-invented, rather than imported from the west Scottsman jokes and East Frisian jokes.

1 Ossi-Wessi jokes
2 Examples
3 Literature
4 See also
5 External links

[edit] Ossi-Wessi jokes

Since 1989, but still before the fall of the Berlin Wall, the humor landscape of east German branched out into jokes about socalled Besserwessis (a word-play with "West Germans" and "Besserwisser", annoying "know-it-all" persons from the West who consider themselves and their state as superior) and the Ossi-jokes, which within the GDR were told mostly only by immigrated and still uncautious West Germans.

Some cause for bitter laughter was the bestowal of the name Wendehals (wryneck) to opportunistic people who quickly turned from communists to capitalists during German reunification, continuing to hold their offices or even advancing their career.

A similar, but inverse development could be found in West Germany well before 1989, as former GDR citizens carried the GDR-originating jokes and Besserwessi-jokes into West Germany and told these predominantly among one another, since the West German citizens mostly reacted very peculiarly to the Besserwessi-jokes.

Both types of jokes, the Ossi-jokes and the Besserwessi-jokes, mirrored the considerable inner and outer contradictions and differences between East and West Germany, between East and West Germans, between their mindsets and character, their history and their goals in life, which was also described by the expression Mauer in den Köpfen (wall in the head). They were partly strengthened by the disappearance of the East German state.

Even today, long after 1990, many GDR-originated jokes are still told, especially the Ossi-Wessi jokes. Even old East German jokes about weaknesses of East German society can still sometimes be heard, particularly from critics of East Germany, and they are also sometimes gladly picked up and retold by anticommunists.

[edit] Examples

[edit] Examples of banana jokes

Note: The gag in the following "banana jokes" centers on the fact that bananas were very difficult to acquire in the GDR.

How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
Two Berliner children spoke to each other over the wall. The little girl in the west says, while eating a banana, "Look - I have a banana." The boy in the East doesn't want to be inferior to her in anything and says, full of pride: "We have socialism." The girl counters: "So, we'll have socialism soon too." The boy, triumphant: "See, then you won't have any bananas anymore either." (According to the Marxist-Leninist theory, socialism "naturally" follows capitalism. This would never have occurred to the two children, however.)
Incidentally, in the GDR at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

[edit] Examples of political jokes

Why is East German toilet paper so rough? - So that every last asshole will become a Red.
Which three great nations in the world begin with "U"? - USA, USSR, and our GDR (Unsere DDR).
The teacher asks in school: "What is the most important thing in socialism?" The students consider and little Fritz (Fritzchen) answers: "The most important thing in socialism is man!" The teacher: "That is a good answer, Fritzchen. I will give you a B-grade." Fritzchen is dissatisfied and responds emphatically: "Would you maybe give me an A if I told you what the man's name was?"
The teacher asks: "Fritzchen, why are you always speaking of our Soviet brothers? It's 'Soviet friends'." Fritz responds: "Well, you can pick your friends."
What's the difference between Honecker and a streetcar? The streetcar has more followers (Anhänger, means both "supporters" and "waggons").

[edit] Examples of Stasi jokes

Informer on the street: "How do you feel about the political situation?" Pedestrian: "I'm thinking..." Informer: "That's enough - you're under arrest!"
Honecker and Mielke are discussing their hobbies. Honecker: "I collect all the jokes about me that are in circulation." Mielke: "Then we have almost the same hobby. I collect those who bring the jokes into circulation."
(A further version also circulated in which Helmut Schmidt and Honecker conversed.)
How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment? There's a new cabinet in it.
(An allusion to the underdeveloped state of East German microelectronics.)

[edit] Examples of jokes about consumer shortages

Guest: "A cup of coffee, please!"
Waiter: "Turkish or filtered?"
Guest: "Why, filtered, of course."
Waiter: "Then you'll have to bring your own filter paper for now."
(This joke satirizes a period when one had to bring his own towel to the hairdresser if he wanted a wet haircut.)
What's the difference between an HO-sausage and Sputnik?
They've officially confirmed that Sputnik 2 had a dog in it.
(HO was the state grocery network; the quality of East German wares left something to be desired.)

[edit] Examples of Saxon jokes

These jokes lose most of their humor when translated into English, much as jokes about the speech of US southerners or New Zealanders would when translated into German, since they both rely on quirks of pronunciation or grammar that would be unknown to non-native speakers of the respective languages.

What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Genn' se vleisch mal 'n Gofferraum offmachn?, Können Sie vielleicht mal den Kofferraum aufmachen?, Could you please open the trunk?) in standard German)
Little Torsten is doing his German homework. "Babba, welschn Ordiggl haddn Lehm?" – "Nu, gummt druff an, Durschdn. Der Lehm is der Lehm zum Döbbern. Das Lehm is das Lehm bis zum Dode. Und die Lehm hammer dochn Sonnahmd im Dierbark gesehn!" – "Und Dom, Babba?" – "Na das gommt ooch druff an. Der Dom is ne Gaddedrahle. Das Dom machsde uffn Schbielblatz. Und die Dom gurrn uffn Dache." (different words are pronounced the same, der Lehm in proper German means clay, das Leben is life, and die Löwen are lions. The same with der Dom which is a cathedral/dome, das Toben (ruckus) is done at the playground, and die Tauben are doves cooing on the roof.)
What's Egyptian in Saxony? A tilt table (Ägyptisch and ein Kipptisch would be pronounced the same in a Saxon accent)
The doorbell rings. The woman goes to the door and shortly comes back startled and turns to her husband, seeking help: "Dieter! There's a man standing outside who only asks 'Tatü tata'" (Tatü tata is onomatopoeia for the sound a police car siren makes). Dieter goes to the door and comes back laughing. "It's my coworker from Saxony, asking "is do Dieta da?" (Ist der Dieter da?, "Is Dieter there?")

[edit] Examples of jokes about the Trabant

How do you double the value of a Trabant? Fill up the tank!
How do you make a Trabant into a sports car? Gym shoes in the trunk!
Why is the Trabant called the Trabbi? If it went faster than 90 km/h, it would have to be called Galoppi. (Trab means Trot in Germany. Galoppi is derived from Galopp, German for "gallop".)
During a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair a filthy rich oil sheikh heard that that there should be a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivers more quickly than that, it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection.
Sight unseen, he made a request to order this Trabant. In Zwickau they're aware of this great honor, so they immediately change the running Five-Year Plan and bring forward a specimen. In the container, the car reaches the emirate in a handful of weeks. The happy oil sheikh immediately called his friends together, opened the container, and surprisedly exclaimed: "Gosh, they have incredibly long delivery times, but at least they send you a cardboard model in advance - and the best, you can even drive it!"
Sachsenring AG brought out a new Eco-Trabi: Immediately available for delivery, extremely cheap, extremely quiet, extremely environmentally friendly - with electric power train. Problem: The extension cord is only 20 meters long and not in stock!
The cow pie asked the Trabant: "What are you?" The Trabant says: "A car!" The cow pie's response: "If you're a car, then I'm a pizza!"
What happened if a Trabant can't move when the light turns green? The Mercedes behind him has its ventilation running.
What's the difference between a Trabant and a condom? There is none, they both hold up traffic!
(The German word for traffic, Verkehr, is also used for sexual intercourse.)
Similarly: What do a Trabant and a pregnant eighth-grader have in common? Both are the shame of the family.
What's the difference between a Trabant and a washcloth? The washcloth curves around your balls; the Trabant wobbles around curves.
(Der Waschlappen kurvt um die Eier; der Trabbi eiert um die Kurven.)
Why does the Trabant have a heatable rear window? So that you don't get such cold fingers when you're pushing it.
A man stops his Trabant at a garage and says: "Two windscreen wipers for my Trabant". The garage owner thinks for a moment, then replies "OK, that's a fair deal".

[edit] Examples of jokes about West Germans

What does "BRD" stand for? Answer: Bananenrepublik-Deutschland (Banana Republic of Germany).
(BRD = Bundesrepublik Deutschland = Federal Republic of Germany)
Why are there so many bananas in the west? Answer: Because the westerners are descended from apes.
What's the difference between a Western necktie and a cow's tail? The cow's tail covers the whole asshole.
Why do they need 13 years for the Abitur in the west? Because one year of that is play instruction.

[edit] Examples of jokes about East Germans

At the peak of the wave of East Germans fleeing through Hungary and Czechoslovakia in 1989, the persons still staying in East Germany (DDR) were called the "Der Dumme Rest" (the dumb rest)

[edit] Examples of Ossi-Wessi jokes

What do you get when you cross an Ossi with a Wessi? An arrogant unemployed person.

[edit] Literature

Clement de Wroblewsky: Wo wir sind, ist vorn Der politische Witz in der DDR, Hamburg 1986, ISBN 3-89136-093-2
Ingolf Franke: Das große DDR-Witz.de Buch, 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2002, ISBN 3-937547-00-2
Ingolf Franke: Das zweite große DDR-Witze.de Buch, weitere 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2003, ISBN 3-937547-01-0