Fundies Say the Darndest Things
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Fundies Say the Darndest Things!, or FSTDT, is a popular web site that hosts a database of quotes collected from people of various beliefs whether they are religious or not religious, usually from internet message boards. FSTDT is structured as a blog, where readers can leave comments and cast votes for their favorite quotes. It gives up to 30 satirical awards to the most bizarre quotes each month.
FSTDT is largely inspired by Bash.org, a large database of humorous quotes taken from IRC chatrooms. The site derives its name the show Kids Say the Darndest Things.
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[edit] History
FSTDT began as an unintentional meme when site creator, Allan Glenn, began using humorous quotes from posters on a P.O.D. message board in his signature. Allan featured a new quote in his signature each week, while saving each old quote into a text file. The file began circulating by word-of-mouth across the internet, and many people added their own quotes to the list. Seeing that the collection of quotes was becoming popular, Allan decided to create a website dedicated to featuring humorous quotes, which updated monthly [1]. From July 2002 to August 2003, the site was originally called Christians Say the Darndest Things, but Allan changed the name to Fundies Say the Darndest Things when he decided it was unfair to lump all Christians into the same category as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. [2].
Allan operated his website until August 2004, after he met his girlfriend and decided that updating the site was much too time consuming (the website was created using Microsoft Frontpage and updated by hand every month) [3]. The site remained dormant until May 2005 when Allan began receiving offers to resurrect the site from programmers who promised to automate submissions and moderation. One programmer, who calls himself "Yahweh", cloned the original FSTDT appearance, using ASP to dynamically display quotes from a database, allow users to rate submissions, and allow users to comment. Allan approved of the site, and the new automated FSTDT served as the backbone for the new site.
On November 4 2005, Allan Glenn died of cystic fibrosis at the age of 20 [4]. Yahweh took on the role of site administrator, and is the present and permanent owner of the FSTDT site. Fundies Say the Darndest Things is currently hosted at FSTDT.com.
[edit] Site details
The FSTDT is a non-profit satirical website which is operated by a small group of volunteers. New quotes are submitted via internet form, where they are stored in a moderation queue until they are reviewed by a site moderator. Quotes are approved or deleted based on the quality of the quote. There are no definite criteria for quote approval, but moderators are instructed to approve quotes which are sufficiently hilarious, ignorant, bigoted, bizarre, or terrifying. About 300 quotes are approved each month.
After quotes are approved, they are categorized into groups, such as creation vs evolution or homosexuality, depending on content. Next, they are published to the front page, which features all the quotes submitted for the present month. Users may give quotes a rating of 1 to 5 based on the quality of the post (or how "fundie" the quote appears). Users may also leave comments on a quote; because many of the quotes are so absurd that they do not require refutation, many users choose to leave a sarcastic or cynical comment. Quotes can be browsed by month, by the latest comments, or randomly displayed.
Over the course of any given month, quotes are given "awards" intended to satirize the recipients post. There are up to 30 awards given each month, including 4 or 5 "Post of the Week" awards and 1 "Post of the Month". Other awards may include a "Tinfoil Hat Prize" for especially paranoid quotes, a "Bizarre Creationist Assertion of the Month" for the most weird and strange quotes on evolution, a "Bigot of the Month Award" for the most hateful quotes, and any number of miscellaneous awards. A few noteworthy quotes include:
- FSTDT Post of the Year for 2005
- "One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]"
- awesomestnerd, SmashBoards
- Favoritest Unintentional Homoeroticism of the Month
- "[On preventing homosexuality in young boys]
- [T]he boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger. [emphasis added]"
- Dr. Nicolosi, Focus on the Family
- Fundamentalism in a Nutshell Award
- "[Defending the virgin birth]
- I can afford to be narrow-minded because I'm right. You are wrong."
- Solo, 123 Christian Forums
The vast majority of quoted material comes from Christians because they are the most likely groups to defend young earth creationism or endorse the death penalty.
[edit] FSTDT Awards
- Regularly featured awards
- Post of the Week. Four to five Post of the Week awards are given out each month for the funniest and most shocking post submitted for a week.
- Post of the Month. One Post of the Month is awarded for the best, most extreme example of fundamentalism in a month.
- Bizarre Creationist Assertion of the Month. Usually, an extremely unusual creationist apologetic that borders on pseudoscience and science fiction.
- "[A fundie's example of a "scientific fact" in the bible]
- Here's something else that's pretty cool when you ponder it.
- Science now knows that stars emit radio waves, which are received on earth as a high pitched sound.
- Job 38:7 When the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for joy"
- ProjectPeter, Bibleforums.org
- Pot and Kettle Prize. Awarded for an ironic criticism of science or evolution that equally applies to creationism.
- "[Referring to environmentalists who claim global warming is causing more hurricanes]
- These people are looney..as usual..the reason for the recent spat of bad weather has been to warn various leaders of their stances against Israel."
- hescominsoon, Rapture Ready
- Tinfoil Hat Prize. Awarded for an especially paranoid post, especially involving UFOs and aliens, government conspiracies, and often not grounded on any substantial evidence.
- "AIDs was originally a homosexual virus until the military widespread it (mostly on Africa). Why they did that? The NWo is the reason; it is the Pre-Beast."
- K', MySpace
- Alternate Bizarro Universe Award. Awarded when a fundie makes a comment that so flatly contradicts known facts about the real world, that it could only come a fundie living in some alternate bizarro universe.
- "The UN should not force this brutal law [a resolution supporting reproductive rights] into effect... By instituting global infanticide we are making worse the coming depopulation crisis."
- JPI Corporation, NationStates Forum
- Non-contradiction Award. Awarded when a fundie makes a remark that leads to an internal contradiction in his or her very own post, especially if the contradictory remarks are in very close proximity.
- "I choose not to debate with a weak minded blind person, that has to argue with Ad Hominems and personal attacks.
- You can't prove Evolution and it makes no sense, because it is garbage and that is all I need to know, period!!!!!!"
- ArcherX, Myspace
- Bigot of the Month. Awarded for the most bigoted, offensive, and intolerant posts in a month. Often, this is awarded to posters who promote the death penalty for homosexuals, white nationalism, a chance to "finish what Hitler started", and hateful slurs against minorities.
- "What's the matter arthur? Still tick you off that these red necks in Wyoming were better equipped to fend off some sick and twisted, disease-ridden, child molesting pervert [Matthew Sheppard] than all the little boys your ilk likes to intimidate, rape and torture? I suppose this is why homosexuals like coming onto children more than adults eh? Children can't fight back right?"
- Eric, VoyForums
- WTF? Award. Awarded to the most inexplicable, indecipherable, indescribable post in a month. This award takes its name from the tendency of readers to say outloud "What the fuck?" after reading the post.
- "Anyway I think the Bible is very very old, perhaps as old as 120 million years. Maybe people lived much longer in ancient times and could travel along the planets. Jfr. Ezekiel's describsion of space crafts."
- knutove, Bibleforums.org
- Death By Irony Overdose Award. Very similar to the Pot and Kettle Prize, usually awarded when a user makes a very ironic comment about creation and evolution.
- "Jim Jones was a piece of work. People will believe what they want to believe, and are often too proud to think that they could possibly be wrong. Sad really.
- __________________
- Jesus is LORD!"
- ipjones6000, Rapture Ready
- Most Edjumacated Creationist Award. Awarded when a creationist critiques evolution based on deeply misunderstood and wildly distorted evolutionary concepts.
- "[Nuclear] Fusion converts a solid into a liquid. There is a change in state (solid, liquid, or gas), perhaps into compounds, but I have not heard about a single element creating a new element. You need to show your sources and be much more specific."
- Beowulf210, Open Forum Debate
- "[After insisting that human reproductive rates show YEC to be true because of rapid growth in more recent times, and being countered with the fact that reproduction rates aren't steady, or the world would be overrun with bacteria...]
- Bacteria aren't humans. Obviously, human beings, compared to how many offspring they breed on average, have a greater population growth rate then any other organism on earth. That's why."
- shinbits, Christian Forums
- Fundamentalism In A Nutshell Award. A short, one or two sentence remark that adequately sums up the willful closemindedness of fundamentalists.
- "[Defending the virgin birth]
- I can afford to be narrow-minded because I'm right. You are wrong."
- Solo, 123 Christian Forums
- "I didn't come to Jesus by my intelligence and neither will you my friend."
- JesusFollower, Internet Infidels
- Most Informed Critique of Another Religion. Similar to the Most Edjumacated Creationist Award, fundies win this award when they write confused, bewildering, and bizarre critiques of particular religions, most especially critiques derived from misinformation about a religion:
- "If you compare the Mein Kampf to the Qur'an, you'll discover they're nearly identical"
- HageeFan, Christian Forums
- "I cannot believe what I saw on the news last night*... there was an interview w/a CatholicParishoner... Full-face, on his forehead was a large black smudge... this mark bore no resemblance to a cross whatsoever. In my entire life, never had I seen this sight!
- ...
- I chalked it up to just a real radical person. The last time I saw a smudge like that was on Charles Manson. Then, it showed the people coming out of the church a moment later. I sat and stared in total amazement...people walking out of that Catholic church had the same black smudge on their forehead!!! Right smack dab in the center!
- ...
- I have never felt such a cold chill as that which enveloped me. I tingled all over in stunned amazement. I told my husband that I wondered if this was just the 'forerunner' [to the Mark of theBeast]? It made an huge impact on me, and it should have done so for the entire Christian population. I don't know why it was 'black' or why it was in the center of the forehead, but one thing I do know, it was a bone-chilling sight!
- ...
- [* The above was posted a day or so after Ash Wednesday.]"
- Smiley4554, Atlantis Rising Forums
- Miscellaneous Awards (usually a "special" award, offered no more than a few times in the FSTDT archives)
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[edit] Spin-offs
The site has two spin-off sites, Conspiracy Theorists Say the Darndest Things and Racists Say the Darndest Things, which has not opened yet.
[edit] Criticism
Generally, the FSTDT website enjoys the approval of atheists, liberals, democrats and many of the people who get quoted on the site are often offended. However, because the web site satirizes creationism and religious ignorance, it is the target of harsh criticism from moderates and conservatives since they often quote people who are non-religious conservatives.
The most common criticism of FSTDT is that the quotes are pulled out of context. However, the site provides a link to the original quote so that the context can be checked. The present administrator also insists that quotes are not deliberately quoted out of context, and that any quotes appearing out of context will be removed as soon as they are discovered [5]. Part of the site philosophy is intellectual integrity, where it intends to represent Christianity by accurately quoting the things that Christians actually say. The site administrator has in fact removed dozens of out-of-context posts upon their discovery.
The site is also criticized because it cross-posts quotes to its website without the original author's knowledge or expressed permission. Many critics state that this is indicative of copyright infringement. FSTDT replies to this criticism by stating its use of other people's quotes are consistent with the Section 107 of US Copyright Law on fair use; it says that quotes are being used for non-profit educational purposes, the quoted material tends to be limited to a few sentences or paragraphs at most, the quotes be obtained from public internet forums that are freely accessible by anyone with an internet connection, and the quotes themselves have zero market or monetary value. According to the site administrator, the website "functions a lot like a blog, and I can’t say this site operates in any substantially different way from any other blog, or how this sites operation is illegal in a way that applies to no other blog on the internet" [6].
A more salient criticism is that the readers who post comments on the site are every bit as crazy as the people who get quoted. Some comments from atheists on the site may be excessively cruel, hateful, or vile. In fact, the FSTDT website has actually featured some comments by atheists on the site mainpage [7].
Finally, the FSTDT website is criticized for being very liberally biased. This comes from the fact that the site regularly features quotes from opponents of homosexuality and gay marriage, opponents of abortion, anti-secularists, anti-feminists, and conservatives. The site admin states he does tend to actively single out conservatives, but says that atheists are just uninteresting and unfunny. The site administrator claims to be a Libertarian, or in some cases a member of the Green Party, and would be understandable that the website would reflect the biases of the site administrator.
