Talk:Foreplay
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This article needs to be partially rewritten - not all of these activities are a prelude to intercourse. For a gay or lesbian couple (and, though I'm not an expert, I assume for some straight couples too), oral sex can constitute the "main event," if you want. I would rewrite it, but I'm going to bed. (Alone, smart mouth.) - Montréalais
- What about sucking and light nipping of breasts? 24.54.208.177 02:13, 4 May 2005 (UTC)
are the last two paragraphs ok??
- I've removed the junk. TPK 18:09, 12 Sep 2004 (UTC)
[edit] Reverted POV additions
I don't know if the additions made by the anonymous author where serious additions or not but they where certainly not either POV or in some cases accurate. Describing sex as a violent act or referring to "overt and dirty" sexual acts is not POV. That foreplay is always intended to bring about a "screaming" orgasm (as opposed to a less vocal orgasm) is inaccurate. The rest of the added words create similar problems. --Cab88 16:26, 20 March 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Inhibition and Comfort
In the second para. "Psychologically, foreplay lowers inhibitions and increases the emotional comfort of the partners"
I am now thoroughly convinced that foreplay is essentially this - to lower inhibition and increase comfort. But inhibition and comfort are to mild to properly describe the importance of foreplay as a prelude to intercourse. Its essential role is to reduce fear. Fear of a stranger in some cases, fear of invading personal space, fear of penetration or castration, perhaps fear of pain and fear of the unknown (particularly for virgins both male and females), but also fear of being a personal or socially proscribed activity. Shyness is a fear too (I say a fear of saying Hello) so even going so far as making the introductory moves towards foreplay is a fear to be overcome.
Unless these fears are properly resolved before intercourse it may actually be unpleasurable or painful, and further more may lead to a more pathological, general fear of the opposite sex or even intercourse. This is the case when there is little or no foreplay accompanied by threats of harm or helplessness as in the case of rape.
But as some people fear the thrills of the big dipper rides others find them enjoyable, so it seems that some people find the fear of helplessness, as in bondage, enjoyable part of foreplay.
There is a distinction to be made in courting, which is seeking a mate with whom to establish a long-term relationship (for the purposes of reproduction – sex and children), and foreplay (sex only). An example is two neighbours already in established relationships, who wink with a view to some “extra-marital” or occasional sex and no view to establishing a long term relationship. In this case there is a risk, a fear, that discovery will disturb or destroy the existing relationship and responsibilities if there are children. The distinction between courtship and foreplay though is not necessarily mutually exclusive. While courting, foreplay may seen as opportunistic - you may get lucky. Here though one is more careful not to upset the primary goal of establishing a longer-term relationship. But then again opportunity may be the essence of all foreplay - wink and see if there is any chance of taking things further.
The issue of pain is not necessarily straightforward. Not all pain is conscious. And memory of pain is greater than the memory of pleasure. Within long-term relationship the role of foreplay in fear reduction is often largely not considered at all, so if pain or fear (physical or psychological – conscious or unconscious or imagined – personal or social in origin), comes with sex then there are serious risks not only to a maturing and growing sexual intimacy but to the relationship generally.
