Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Katie Melua
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- This page is well written, comprehensive and extremely well sourced. I feel that it is worthy of feature status. Hera1187 06:41, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- Comment footnotes are not consistant; all footnotes should go immediatly after a full stop or comma, like this,[1] not like this[2]. Laïka 11:48, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for spotting this. I have now fixed it. Hera1187 12:03, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- Support; I'm not sure that the "Musical taste" section really adds anything to the article, but other than that, I'm happy to support. Laïka 12:14, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- Comment - I would suggest you don't need to detail her moves from Georgia to Northern Ireland to England and her respective ages in the lead. I would also agree that the section about her taste is fairly unnecessary, and could be cut down to a sentence "Melua has stated she likes" etc. Otherwise, good job. HornetMike 12:42, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- I've implemented your suggestions, thank you.Hera1187 17:36, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object To be honest, I've only read the lead. However, of those five sentences, four would currently be considered run-ons.
- "Melua is a British singer and musician, who was born in Georgia but moved to Northern Ireland at the age of 8 and then to England." This sentence is barely coherent. There shouldn't be a comma after "musician", "8" should be spelled out, and it should be stated when she moved to England (and then written as "moved to NI at the age of eight and then relocated to England at age ____" or something like that).
- "Melua is signed to the small Dramatico record label, under the management of songwriter Mike Batt,[2] and made her musical debut in 2003." This contains a huge non-sequitur.
- "In November 2003, at the age of just 19, Melua released her first album, Call Off the Search, which reached the top of the United Kingdom album charts and sold 1.2 million copies within its first five months of release." This should clearly be broken into two sentences.
- "Her second album, Piece by Piece, was released in September 2005 and to date has gone platinum four times." This needs at least one more comma, if not two.
- Just scanning the rest of the article, many, many paragraphs are one or two sentences. This is not what I would consider "compelling prose". -- Kicking222 03:41, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object per Kicking222. Other random examples:
- Melua would later site this experience as the reason why she shuns certain materialistic aspects of fame and fortune. site -> cite
- Due to her political unstable upbringing in war torn Georgia and troubled Belfast, Melua initially had no inkling to become a musician, instead she planed on a career as an historian or politician. Lots of problems here.
- The price was £350 worth of MFI vouchers with which she brought a chair for her father. Prize? Bought?
- Really needs a good copy-edit. I'd refer this to peer review. Gzkn 07:18, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object per Kicking222 and Gzkn. I think, once its been proof read, the page could be eligible for a WP:GOOD nomination. I would like to commend this page on being well sourced and I think if the grammar is improved and the prose completed it could and should be nominated again. Philip Stevens 17:36, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object per Kicking222, Gzkn, and Philip Stevens. This article needs a lot of work before it is even a WP:Good, much less WP:FA. Has it been peer reviewed at all? Although there are a lot of sources (excellent for an article about a young popular singer, very seldom done), some of the material from the sources is poorly used. The prose needs serious work before even being peer reviewed, imo. Try to get another editor to look it over.
- ...who was born in Georgia but moved to Northern Ireland at the age of eight and then relocated to England at the age of fourteen.[1] Her family moved. "...born in Georgia, but as a young child moved with her family to Northern Ireland, then later to England."
- Due to her political unstable upbringing in war torn Georgia and troubled Belfast, Melua initially planned becoming either a historian or a politician.[11] The article referenced doesn't say anything about the impact of violent years in Georgia on Melua, and only slightly alludes to the same in Northern Ireland--references not well used--plus sounds like she's the one politically unstable, poor grammar as mentioned above. KP Botany 23:03, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
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- About the opening: first Mike said "I would suggest you don't need to detail her moves from Georgia to Northern Ireland to England and her respective ages in the lead", the opening was then changed. Then Kicking222 said, "it should be stated when she moved to England and then written as 'moved to NI at the age of eight and then relocated to England at age ____'", so it was changed back. Now KP Botany says it should be "born in Georgia, but as a young child moved with her family to Northern Ireland, then later to England". Can you all please get a grip and decide what the opening should say before it’s changed yet again. For KP Botany's other point, I've added a better referenced. Also, I have to say that I don't agree that its sounds like she's the one politically unstable. Hera1187 06:55, 29 November 2006 (UTC)
- The problem is the article needs to be better written overall. The prose is simply not compelling. Until it is, there will be tons of picky little details about the article. Tense is mixed up, descriptions vaguely apply to either wars or the singer, sentences are incomplete or incoherent, etc., etc. It simply needs a lot of work. Work which should have been pointed out during a Peer Review, the place this article needs to go first, imo, after it has been cleaned up quite a bit. I added comments to the talk page. KP Botany 16:08, 29 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object per Kicking222, Gzkn, Philip Stevens and KP Botany. Nat91 14:03, 30 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object Not well written, certainly not brilliant prose. Refer to PR and then GA. --kingboyk 14:21, 1 December 2006 (UTC)
