Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/History of the Yosemite area

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[edit] History of the Yosemite area

Self-nom. I've exhausted several sources to write this and have been really scrapping the bottom of the barrel to find more, which is a good indicator that I should stop. Other than some more images (which I'm working on), what else needs to be done to bring this article to FA standard? --mav

  • I haven't had time read it all, but I'd like to see the article started with an explanation on where the area in question actually is before you shoot off into its history. I'll try to give it a closer later. [[User:MacGyverMagic|Mgm|(talk)]] 21:50, Dec 1, 2004 (UTC)
    • Geo-ref added. Images too. --mav 12:08, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
  • Support. This article is a detailed article, while Yosemite National Park is the general one. I don't think this article needs background. It's quite good, actually. --- hike395 08:01, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
Thanks! --mav 12:08, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
If I had to chose one thing that bothers me about the article, I would say referring to non-Native-Americans as "white". It might not be accurate (are you sure that no black people were involved at all?) and also I find it a little weird. I don't have a concrete substitute that is flawless, though (Europeans? Americans? non-Native-Americans?) -- hike395 08:05, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
'Non-Native-Americans' might be best, since being born in America doesn't a European make. :) Euro-American would also work. --mav 12:08, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
  • Support. Impressive work as always, mav. - Fredrik | talk 18:07, 3 Dec 2004 (UTC)
  • Great work. Support when two issues are taken care of: 1) The one and two sentence paragraphs are eliminated. They show areas that are incomplete ideas and are not good prose. 2) The writing is pretty stilted throughout and doesn't flow very well. That is a consequence of being pretty well researched it seems, but it does need to flow a fair amount better from one idea to the next in many parts. - Taxman 20:57, Dec 3, 2004 (UTC)
  • Support--ZayZayEM 01:16, 5 Dec 2004 (UTC)
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