Father Jack Hackett

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Father Jack Hackett is a fictional character in the Channel 4 television series Father Ted. The character (played by Frank Kelly) is the deeply alcoholic, and at times violently psychotic, third priest in Father Ted's household. According to one of Graham Linehan's former peers at Catholic University School in Dublin, Fr. Hackett has been based on one of the former resident priests at the school.

Through much of the series he is comatose in his chair and most of his waking moments are spent calling for alcohol. Despite his feeble appearance, he is capable of impressive feats such as stealing drink at seemingly impossible speeds. Jack is also able to tell the vintage and variety of wine just from the sound of the bottle clinking.

Jack is a chronic alcoholic and is in a constantly inebriated state. As a result of this, his speech is crude and limited. The few words he speaks occasionally are "Drink!", "Feck!", "Arse!" and "Girls!", though occasionally he blurts out nonsensical comments like "Are those my feet?", "I like cake!" and "I'm a happy camper!". Indeed the more words he utters, the higher the potential for humour, because of how little he usually speaks. Once, Father Ted tried to improve his speech with some success. He learned the phrases "Yes!" and "That would be an ecumenical matter!" so that he could communicate at a basic level with three bishops that were guests on Craggy Island. Jack uses his alcoholism to escape from his depressing life on the island; during Lent one year, he became sober and was shocked to learn that he was "still on that feckin' island!" This also led to two of the funniest moments in the show, the first when he was pointing at objects and parts of the room, such as chairs, the floor, the ceiling and so on and verbally labelling them correctly, and then turning to Father Ted and yelling "Gobshite!" (something he has also called Father Dougal McGuire). The second is better explained in script form:

Father Ted is sitting at the table busy at some task
Father Jack: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! You there! (Holds up a spoon) What the hell is this?
Father Ted: That's a spoon Father.

His alcoholism has progressed to such a degree that he will drink many household cleaning products. On one occasion, he consumed a bottle of floor polish and was pronounced dead. However he returned to the land of the living superbly ruining one of the few serious moments in the show, and it transpired he had only "the symptoms of death"- including rigor mortis and decomposition.

Jack is also very violent, although it is not clear if this is a consequence of his alcoholism or his personality. He regularly attacks people, but although he apparently gave Father Dougal a "kick up the arse", it is Father Ted who gets the worse treatment. On various occasions, he has smashed Ted over the head with an assortment of blunt instruments, thrown him through a window and even once ran him over with his car. He once threw a teacup in the direction of an oblivious Mrs. Doyle when she failed to get the message that he didn't want a cup of tea (despite a growing pile of ignored teacups and saucers she had left beside him). Once when asked "What do you say to a cup, Father?", his succinct response was "Feck off, cup"!!". He once attacked Bishop Len Brennan, being the only person in the house who doesn't fear him. He has to be restrained regularly due to his violence; his bed is surrounded by bars and barbed wire and he has to wear a straight jacket when in bed.

His personal hygiene is dubious. He has a constant ring of scabs around his mouth and his hair is wiry and wild- and, evidently extremely thick, since he once failed to notice that the top of his head had ignited after attempting to light a cigar in the household fire. His entire head once went septic and he contracted a strange disease that caused hair of great length to grow all over his body as well. He keeps a terribly malodourous underpants hamper in his room, which was used to imprison Bishop Brennan's assistant, Father Jessup. Whenever his nails have to be cut, people have to wear protective safety gear, such as helmets, to protect against being injured by his incredibly strong nails.

[edit] References in popular culture

In the sci-fi show Farscape, there is an obvious nod to Father Jack in the episode "A Prefect Murder". In the episode there is a character called Paroon, a strange alien priest. The character's face has been moulded in the same shape as Father Jack's grimace.

There is a page dedicated to photoshopping Jack's face onto various recognisable images for use as avatars[[1]].

[edit] Trivia

• Playing the French National Anthem makes Father Jack demand that everyone in the room stand to attention.
• For a short period during leap years, he becomes a normal and friendly person. During this time he can be seen dancing through meadows, giving sweets to children and playing with Labrador puppies.
• He once had a pet brick.
• When he was younger he was a teacher. He taught P.E. (seemingly enjoying the view of the girls!) and a fiercely dogmatic form of Catholicism.
• He was the first priest to denounce the Beatles.
• He has a phobia of nuns (viz "Nuns! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!").
• It is claimed that he could've been elected pope, if not for "those feckin' Jesuits."

Father Ted
Characters
Father Ted Crilly | Father Dougal McGuire | Father Jack Hackett | Mrs. Doyle Bishop Brennan | Minor Characters
Major Cast and Crew
Dermot Morgan Ardal O'Hanlon | Frank Kelly | Pauline McLynn Arthur Mathews | Graham Linehan Pat Shortt | Jim Norton | Graham Norton | Tony Guilfoyle
Other Related Pages
List of Father Ted episodes | Craggy Island | My Lovely Horse | Feck