User:Erik the Appreciator/Erik's Rationale

[edit] Editing Rationale

Why do I edit? Well, it’s certainly an involved metaphysical question (and I don’t know what that word means), but here’s the answer to why I’m editing Nintendo-related articles.

Basically, when the influential Grand Theft Auto III was released to the world, gaming received a dynamic new resident that did indeed have conceptual and gameplay quality of a high sort. Unfortunately, many game companies followed up on its thematic example and cranked out all sorts of GTA knock-offs that generally didn’t do much for gamers, but the blood-soaked, prostitute-laden content they offered totally made the politicians and their commentators go all over the gaming industry as if it were a new front for war. (This is proven by the fact that Wikipedia has an entire article on GTA clones.) Gaming’s name and image seemed to be deflated in the eyes of histrionic parents and teachers everywhere, much more than necessary, and nowadays fans of Sony and Microsoft gaming are always on the receiving end of not-so-good will from blokes like our ungood friend Jack Thompson.

But don’t take this to mean that I hold any sort of grudge against the Grand Theft Auto series. In fact, as unlikely as it may sound, I could be harboring feelings towards the contrary. It seems that with the constant shooting and gore-raining of all the other games and the startling chaos of the real world, gamers become fans of franchises like Pokémon and other Nintendo creations to brighten their days a bit; Pokémon and other franchises might not have been doing as well if there wasn’t a GTA3 to hog the limelight and cast a shadow of misconception over everything. Pokémon is an amazing franchise: 493 distinctive creatures is NOT a number to scoff at. Each critter has its own story, character and influence on the Pokémon world, and that’s amazing. Therefore, it seems that being a fan of this franchise pays off everytime a new generation occurs and hundreds of new Pokémon are born, as it brightens up and excites everyone involved. That’s why I edit Pokémon. Simple, isn’t it?

In addition to being an editor on the site, I also try to be a humorist to brighten up the days of others who might be somewhat stressed at both real life and Wiki-life (HighwayCello, for a while there you had some of my sincerer pity). Therefore, I run a joke system on my main user page that updates every two weeks or so. I make jokes about Pokémon, Golden Sun (my real favorite Nintendo franchise), and occasionally other subjects, and if I run out I’ll also provide some witty advice on my page. My previous pieces of levity can be found at the bottom of this page, so don’t say I don’t care for you.

Who am I not, then? For starters, I don't rant, I don't argue (much), and I don't put down others for disagreeing with me and the edits I might do, so don't be afraid to tell me outright if I honestly goof or steer an article down the wrong path. The operative keyword here is honest. I DO NOT LIKE DISHONESTY, even if it is praise, and I certainly won't like unfounded flames. And I don't think I'm hypocritical; I’ll edit anything that I know is wrong, so don't be surprised if you see me replacing entire sections on articles. There, that oughta be a load off my back.

Lastly, here is a list of individuals that perhaps would be in your best interest to not associate me with, along with a description of the main trait that makes me different from each case.

• Exhibit A (I don't wear a hat.)
• Exhibit B (I don't think of the world as a place to immolate for pleasure.)
• Exhibit C (I wear jeans.)
• Exhibit D (I don't mow down hundreds of kids with auto-fire uzis.)
• Exhibit E (I don't wear lipstick, nor is my hair green.)
• Exhibit F (Well... Oh, my hair is longer.)
• Exhibit G (I keep my valuables out of sight where they belong.)
• Exhibit H (I am not my father. ^_^)
• Exhibit I (Everything. This had to be the creepiest boss fight I ever played.)
• Exhibit J (In stark contrast. I honestly don't think I'm that appealing.)
• Xzibit (If you couldn't tell from my name, I'm a white guy.)

[edit] Editing style

If you look at my edits to pages like Slakoth, you’ll surely notice that I conform to a heavy-handed editing style where I try to write in encyclopedic prose, move around images, and generally upgrade the quality of an article when I see that others have not been doing specifically that. Perhaps it is necessary, however, to provide an idealized hypothetical case study that fully illustrates how I can take raw information and convert it into quality prose, complete with images and an optimized paragraph layout.

[edit] Raw Material

The following was posted on User:A Man In Black’s talk page by a rather nefarious character on April 7, 2006, after the two had a dispute over whether to put in information into each Pokemon creature article about where in the real world each species would be found if they were real creatures. You read that right. Read this closely, and you’ll realize that this dirge could have been worded much nastier:

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT A MAN IN BLACK IS A PRUDE LOSER. HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO FRIENDS. HE ONLY EDITS VIDIOGAME ARTICLES BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE KNOWS BEST BY FAR. AT THIS POINT IN HIS LIFE, HE IDOLIZES HIS MOTHER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS WILLING TO KISS HIM. OTHER THAN HIS MOTHER HE HAS NEVER EVER TOUCHED A GIRL NOR WOULD HE EVER TRY BECAUSE HE IS SO SCARED. INSTEAND, HE SITS AT HOME ALL DAY IN A BIG BLACK COUSHY CHAIR ON HIS MOST LIKELY OBESE ASS, EATING A TUB OF POPCORN WITH TONS OF BUTTER AND SALT, AND DRINKING DIET DOCTER PEPPER OUT OF A BIG SLURP CONTAINER. HE MOST LIKELY HAS GREASE STAINS ON HIS SHIRT AND SKID MARKS IN HIS TIGHTY-WHITIES. HIS WHOLE LIFE REVOLVES AROUND WIKIPEDIA AND HE THINKS HE'S SO GREAT JUST BECAUSE HE GOT A COUPLE ONLINE AWARDS THAT DONT MEAN SHIT. HE MAKES A LIVING BY SELLING HIS RUNESCAPE ACCOUNT ON EBAY AND THE ONLY WAY HE COULD EVER HOPE TO GET MARRIED OR EVEN TALK TO A HUMAN OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WOULD BE ON SOME STUPID ONLINE GAME LIKE EVERQUEST. HE WEARS GIANT, THICK, BIG BLACK GLASSES AND HE HASNT SHOWERED IN TWO WEEKS. HE HAS A BEARD BECAUSE HE IS TOO LAZY TO SHAVE IT AND HE HASNT CHANGED HIS UNDERWEAR IN MONTHS. HE LIKES CAUSING HARM TO PEOPLE TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIS OWN PITIFUL LIFE. HE IS A LOSER AND THATS ALL HE WILL BE!!

[edit] Edited for encyclopedic clarity

I have taken this raw text and fully rewritten it as it conforms to my personal editing style. Now I may present an alternative Appreciative version of the above biography (And please bear in mind that none of this reflects my opinion of A Man In Black at all, you dolts!):

I, Emstu10, feel the peculiar desire to emphatically elaborate that the esteemed Wikipedia user A Man In Black is a prude loser. Nowhere are any apparent friends in sight, in effect revealing that he lacks them. He confines himself to the editing of videogame articles because that is the one subject to which he has committed himself at the present age.^{[citation needed]} At this point in his expected lifespan, he idolizes his maternal family member because she is the only person who is willing to kiss him.^{[citation needed]} Aside from his mother, he has never touched a female of the human species nor would he ever try because he is so scared. ^{[citation needed]}

User:A Man In Black, as described by User:Emstu10 and illustrated by myself.

Instead, he is consistently positioned at home all day in a big black cushy chair on his most likely capacious posterior, consuming a bucket of popcorn smothered in butter and salt, and quenching his thirst with Diet Dr. Pepper out of a big slurp container ^{[citation needed]} (This should not be taken to mean that A Man In Black is actually the 43rd president of the United States). He has an unsettling amount of grease stains on his shirt and skid marks in his tighty-whities. ^{[citation needed]} The greater whole of his life revolves around Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and he holds himself in a high position based on his receiving of a pair of awards on the website that that simply don't mean shit. ^{[citation needed]} He sustains himself financially and morally by selling his Runescape account on EBay, the Not-So-Free Marketplace that anyone else would know about ^{[citation needed]} , and the following hypothesis considering his potential marital future can therefore be formulated: the sole way he could ever hope to get married or even communicate with a human of the opposite sex (which would be female because, incidentally, A Man In Black’s gender is male) would be on an unintellectual online game not unlike Everquest. ^{[citation needed]}

Just like the black-suited agents of the iconic government-alien conspiracy after which he modeled his behavior, he has taken to wearing a pair of tremendous, grotesque, and unappealing black-colored glasses. ^{[citation needed]} Contrary to the other suits, however, he showers once every two weeks, if we are lucky. ^{[citation needed]} He has a beard because, when it comes to removing the hair with trademark products of the Gillette company, his schedule is outright lethargic ^{[citation needed]} , and he has been wearing the same pair of underwear for the past several months! ^{[citation needed]} After having provided this substantial testimony to the self-indulgent, masturbatory lifestyle of this aromatic individual, Wikipedia’s creator would easily agree with me on two important conclusory points: That A Man In Black likes causing harm to others to make himself feel better about his own pitiful life, and that HE IS A LOSER AND THATS ALL HE WILL BE!! ^{[citation needed]}

Eh, God knows what this write-up needs to make it less worthy of the space it takes up.

[edit] Other details

I have, however, been unable to decipher this one conversation that took place on that talk page nearly two months later:

Firstly I have to profess that I have absolutely no idea why I am writing this. I noticed you editing the Darth Vader article and after viewing your user page and reading your introductory dirge I felt the need (read curiosity) to ask you a question.

You talk of the difficulties you would have with matrimony, and I have to ask... if you found a woman who was in ever way your equal, who shared your same level of hygien, appearance (though definately feminine), weight, grooming rituals etc, etc, etc... could you ever love such a person? The reason I ask is not to insult, but because I am indeed fascinated with people who it may be plain to see are not the most beautiful in our world (Which I do not consider myself part of such an echilon) and whether they actually seek out those who are of similar quality or expect someone of better quality instead. You appear from your introduction to be a person of reality, who is not afraid to be honest about themselves which is why I believe you should take this in the manner it was written, in genuine interest in the response. Enigmatical 06:49, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Uh. That's an insulting rant some troll left on my talk page, and I thought it was so funny I had to keep it. There's no greater meaning to it, really. - A Man In Bl♟ck (conspire | past ops) 06:52, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Sorry you felt that way, it was certainly not trolling and definately not a rant. Appears my original assessment of you was incorrect, you have my appologies. Enigmatical 22:42, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

No problem, I guess. - A Man In Bl♟ck (conspire | past ops) 04:58, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

We live in strange times, we do. Erik Jensen ^{(I appreciate talk!)} 04:25, 5 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] What I can edit

This is a mostly complete listing of all the games, movies, TV shows, and other subjects which I am able to edit or comment on because of my familiarity with each of these. If you see an article related to what's below that's in bad shape, feel free to bring it to my attention and I'll see what I can do.

[edit] Video Games

• Golden Sun series: The love-child of Nintendo and Camelot Software Planning, this 2-part RPG series serves as a bit of a counter-example to the notion that archetypical characters are automatically strong characters and fan favorites, and vice versa. What I mean is that, while the characters of Final Fantasy 7 are indeed archetypical and strong, the Golden Sun characters really seem to have a soul to them that does not go out of its way to demand your attention; their core characters are just there within them. It is that and other reasons involving the quality of the games themselves that places this as my favorite thing on Earth.
• Pokémon series: However, since the Golden Sun series has not had any action for over three full years, I have this other Nintendo RPG series use Substitute to fill the void, main reason being: It's frigging gigantic. 493 core characters, each attempting to be different from each other. That is a big number.
• Super Smash Bros. series: This was a bit of a religious mantra with me back when Melee was released. No matter when or how, this game is always a blast. Here's my Smash credentials: I have all 290 trophies, including Crazy Hand and Diskun, and I beat Classic and Adventure on Very Hard difficulty. Mind you, I did not use an Action Replay; if I did, I would have beat All Star on Very Hard and had 293 trophies.
• Kingdom Hearts series: This is the epitome of quality AND quantity for me. A great action-adventure for the ages.
• Of the Mario series: Super Mario World, Super Mario Kart, Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, New Super Mario Bros., and others. Yes, it's the gameplay that counts, not the deep characterization.
• Of the Zelda series: A Link to the Past, Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Ages, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and Wind Waker: Well, sometimes I wonder why I do so; it's mainly because everyone else loves 'em that I feel I have to play 'em. Actually, Orcarina of Time is one of my favorite games, while Majora's Mask is one of my least favorite, due to a save system I just don't agree with (they make you do those dungeons in entire sittings).
• Of the Metroid series: Metroid: Zero Mission, Super Metroid, Metroid Fusion, Metroid Prime, and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes: You know, this really is a series that deserves to display deeper characterization; it's mazey gameplay in the 2D games is not that engaging in my opinion, though the First-Persion Adventures of the Prime games are.
• F-Zero X: I like fast, furious, and simple-yet-deep gaming. And this is it.
• Of the Castlevania series: Circle of the Moon, Aria of Sorrow, and Dawn of Sorrow: Most excellent adventures that make the term Metroidvania deserving of its own article IMO.
• Final Fantasy X: An archetypical story with archetypical characters is great, but like I said before, I feel the Golden Sun characters outperform them.
• Advance Wars series: This hardest-of-the-hardcore series of strategy games manages to have a good characterization thing going between it's COs. I needed Action Replay for the first two games, though. However, I personally shocked myself recently by conquering Dual Strike's campaign without any cheating!!!
• Starcraft series: This was something I spent a lot of time with, though keep in mind I have yet to touch anything in terms of online gameplay; I rarely play multiplayer at home consoles, let alone the PC. So you won't see me Zerging.
• Diablo series: Even today, I still find myself flicking both games in the series on for the item hunt. Such a pastime. I have a level 81 Bowazon that was trained entirely through solo (again, no online play applied here).
• Of the RollerCoaster Tycoon series: Everything except the third series. Managing amusement park bills and cleaning up vomit for hours isn’t exactly my idea of fun, but it does provide large amounts of satisfaction whenever I complete a scenario.
• Final Fantasy Tactics Advance: I liked it at first, but I just didn't seem to enjoy the supposedly "pleasant" randomness of those idiotic laws that strengthened later on. I was glad to finish it (for the wrong reasons).
• Perfect Dark (for the N64): This was a game I lived with for years, slowly completing missions at increasing difficulties, until finally when I had completed everything at Special Agent level.
• Banjo-Kazooie series: Okay, I know it's goofy aesthetically, but the second game was really impressive for the N64.
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: When it comes to this series, the colors and bright style of this game are about as much as I can tolerate; I can't see myself playing San Andreas (sorry, AMIB). After all, I was shocked to find that it used F-Bombs - Literal F-Bombs- without any censoring!!! I had no idea that that was legal in an M-rated game.
• Chrono Trigger: I sure loved it back then as much as I love Golden Sun now. The localization sucks, though.
• Brain Age and Big Brain Academy: The first game revealed that I have the brain of a 71-year-old. The second revealed that I can't count coins to save my life. What's not to love!? :D

[edit] Cinema

• Shrek series: Those who don't like this fairy-tale fun-fest are on their way to a smacked bottom.
• Ghost Hunters: Plumbers by day, Ghost Hunters by night… No, I'm not talking about Luigi. Nice blend of entertainment and paranormal proof.
• Criss Angel: You won't see me in a metal suit walking around a Tesla coil.
• Naruto: I think it’s saying something when I say that this is better than my precious Golden Sun and Pokémon… put together. It's quality is immeasurable.
• Zatch Bell!: Loopy is the best way to describe this, though I shall see it through to the end.
• One Piece: As dubious as the dubbing is, I think this series has an epic-feeling spirit that shows through especially in that Sir Crocodile arc.