Emotional distance

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Emotional distance (EMD) is the absence of emotional bonding or 'closeness' between human beings. Used often about lovers, couples, family members or peers, the term is also used in more professional relationships.[1] [2]

It's experiencing a sense of absentness or a degree of distantness in a relationship. Personal problems, financial woes, lack of fulfillment, or unresolved issues amplifies EMD, although it's not limited to these factors.

Contents

[edit] Reasons

  • Lack of trust in partner.
  • Cultural incompatibility.
  • Big age gap between partners, resulting in emotional disconnect. Example: John listens to 80s pop. Sally, on the other hand, is committed to contemporary Euro-techno on her MP3 player.
  • Personality differences and resulting incompatibilities
  • Lack of communication: usually due to an overburdened, stressed out husband/wife who is not in the mood to talk things over.
  • Linguistic barriers: international couples simply do not understand each other 100%, resulting in partial communication which leads to a sense of disconnect. Example: Sam intends to say: "I like you". Keiko hears: "I love you".
  • Perceived threat or encroachment on personal domain. Example: King Saul was afraid of young David's military successes and sought to kill him.
  • Socioeconomic, class and religious differences.
  • One or both members of a relationship still in the recovery or healing stage after fall-out.
  • Different visions, whether it is personal, professional, relational, economical, or psychological.
  • Triangulation. Example: Sam and Keiko have intruder Tom in their relationship.
  • Personal loss, grief, or anger.

[edit] Dealing with it

  • Realize that you're not abnormal - it happens to all of us at some point or the other.
  • Identify the root issue that produced this 'distance' between you and your partner
  • Confess, confront and create solutions for issues dividing your relationship.

[edit] Further reading

  • M.L. Cummings, Creating Moral Buffers in Weapon Control Interface Design, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, accessed at [3] Nov 15, 2006

[edit] Notes

  1. ^ The New Emotional Cycles of Deployment, US Department of Defense accessed at [1] Nov 15, 2006
  2. ^ Reducing emotional distance: a new method to teach interviewing skills, Journal of Medical Education, 1975 Jun;50(6):605-14 accessed at [2] Nov 15, 2006
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