Emily Howard

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Emily Howard (Born Eddie Howard, 1962 [According to the stage show prgramme guide]) is a fictional character in the cult BBC TV and Radio Show Little Britain, played by David Walliams. His catchphrase is "'I am a laaaady".

Emily, whose real name is Eddie Howard, is an unconvincing transvestite who demands to be treated as "a lady" and dresses in Victorian clothes. However he often slips back into his normal voice or displays masculine mannerisms. He runs a guest house in the fictional, coastal town of Old Haven (possibly in reference to Newhaven) and claims to have a husband who is away at sea. The scenes are actually shot at Herne Bay in Kent.

Emily often overdresses and tries too hard to point out that he is a lady, and even takes his wig off and shows people the name-label inside it to prove his sex. He also meets with his old work friend who claims to have seen him when he was working and says his name is Eddie Howard, and Emily pretends not to recognise him. In the final episode of the first series he also helps a man fix his ice cream truck like a man would and only he and his moustachioed friend Florence (played by Matt Lucas) believe that they are actually ladies.

In one episode, Florence goes to the men's room, but Emily tells him to use the other door, and says: "Don't forget to sit down when you piss!". However, in every other episode, they have used the men's room and Emily has been seen urinating standing up.

A running joke in the series relates to how frequently Emily is unable to sustain the feminine façade to the end of a sentence, instead trailing off and muttering, "...and shit."

It is revealed in the second season that Emily used to play as left-back for QPR when Emily and Florence observe some young boys playing football, and Emily skillfully takes the ball past the young boys, scoring a goal, even though Emily was still holding his parasol.

[edit] Florence

Florence's real name is Fred and he was introduced as Emily's friend at the start of the second series of Little Britain. He too is a transvestite, (arguably more so than Emily, in that — in addition to his Victorian accoutrements — he has a thick, bushy moustache).

In the second-to-last episode of series three, Florence pretended to be Emily's baby. However, when a child saw Florence dressed up as a baby, he got out of the pram and it seemed his transvestism lifestyle had come to an end.

In the final episode of series three, broadcast on Christmas Eve 2005, Florence had seemingly given up the transvestite lifestyle after being caught by his wife wearing her wedding dress. He visited Emily for seemingly one last time, insisting he call him Fred. However, Emily quickly had Fred back as Florence, after tempting him with a new dress.

[edit] Quotes

• "This is where I keep my ladies' things, my perfumes, my petticoats, my ladies things!"
• "I need a ladies' dress, white of course, with frills ... and shit ..."
• "I stroke kittens and press flowers... and swim in rivers, wearing dresses and hats."
• "I like to do ladies' things, like attend the operettas and les ballets imaginaires"
• "I like ladies' things, like puppies and kittens dressed in little white bonnets"
• Man at bar: "I used to have a wife once." EH :"Really?! Was she a lady?!"
• "But I am a lady! Regard my parasol and petite lace gloves!"
• "But together we fooled the world! Everywhere we went people were enchanted by our feminine charms and beauty and... shit..."
• "Oh Florence, regardez les enfants playing... footy."
• "But I am a lady! I do not have testiclés."
• "Don't forget to sit when you piss."