Emilia Golightly

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You have new messages (last change).

Emilia Golightly was the presenter of a three minute slot on the late night 2FM radio show [1] Moloney After Midnight, which ran in the late 1990's. The format of the show invariably followed the exploits of its presenter, Emilia Golightly who used events in her daily life as parables to preach virtues such as tolerance and charity. The events which Emilia relayed were usually relating to sex, alcohol or other vices and the segment drew much of its humour from the contrast between the saccharine message being broadcast and the circumstances under which Emilia discovered this message.

Each slot followed the same format:

  • Emilia would talk about some event that had happened during her daily routine which would inevitably result in a thought suddenly striking her. This thought usually struck her when she was writhing around naked in some public place.
  • She would then draw a comparison between this event and life (or 'Liiiiiiiiiiiiiife' as it was pronounced on the show).
  • The bulk of the segment would then consist of Emilia discussing how the event made her think about her life and how she was ultimately better for this event.
  • The segment would end with Emilia asking her audience to improve their lives by following her advice, followed by a drawn out 'Goodbye'.

The segment was best known for Emilia's extremely long and drawn out way of saying the word 'life', which she did in every episode, drawing comparisons between various topics (such as having sex with your neighbour or getting a new computer)and life. It was also infamous for Emilia's comments on topical characters on RTE programming, particularly Cynthia Ni Murchu, Claire McKeown and Twink.

Emilia also offered predictions for the year ahead around New Years. Some of her predictions for 1995 included:

  • Claire McKeown will be chosen to host the Eurovision as RTE decide to save money on microphones.
  • Boyzone's debut album, 'Shellsuits are us' goes straight in at number 1.
  • Bertie Ahern will retire from politics after a scandal links him with his wife. He'll go to Alaska and open an anorak farm.
  • Ryan Giggs will leave Manchester United to concentrate on playing football. His new wife, Dani Behr will be exposed as a man.
  • An incident in the RTE carpark involving Gerry Ryan will lead to the collapse of the government and the resignation of the Minister for Agriculture.
  • The coastline will rise by 19 inches as Brendan Grace and Derek Davis leave the country at the same time.
  • A riot will break out on the set of Live at Three and police will be forced to use teargas to calm Thelma down, and get her off the roof.

It is unknown who voiced Emilia Golightly's character and though it has been hypothesised that it was Fiona Looney this suggestion is unsubstantiated by RTE and Mike Moloney.

The show was a parody of RTE's A Prayer at Bedtime, a late night TV spot which was overtly Christian in presentation.

Quotes:

  • Life, like Christmas television, can sometimes bring us to the depths of despair.
  • Life, like the South of France, is full of French things.
  • Life, like a major international music business convention is full of unexpected twists and turns.
  • Life, like Éric Cantona, can sometimes leap up and give you a kick in the head.
  • Aren't there a lot of things in life which are a lot like liiiiiiiiife.
  • I went along to see the film that everyone's talking about the other day, the one where Cindy Crawford has sex with a Benedictine monk but it hasn't been made yet so I went to see Interview with the Vampire instead.
  • I was hiding behind a bush out in Montrose the other day, waiting for Joe Duffy to come outso I could lassoo him, take him home and introduce him to some real hardship.
  • Well, my ball is worn out. I've been rubbing it so hard to get my New Year predictions.
  • Well, it's Valentine's Day, the saddest and loneliest day of the year for you single people, students and gardai.
  • I haven't looked forward to a weekend this much since Bibi left the country.
  • You might think you're going to get an extra five minutes sleep in front of the telly in the morning but a loud mad bloke in an outfit your granny wouldn't wear as a hat has other ideas.
  • As I whirled around, my naked body throbbing to An Englishman in New York by sheer coincidence that very song came on.
  • And as I dangled happily at the end of my rope, my head bashing off the concrete every few minutes, my naked body swaying in the breeze a thought suddenly struck me; isn't bungee jumping a lot like life
  • I was setting fire to my local fur shop last night... ...as I rummaged through the singed coats, my naked body rubbing against the window a thought suddenly struck me.
  • Bibi Baskin will try to smuggle herself through customs at Dublin Airport.
  • A Lotto winner in Monaghan will begin stock-piling nuclear weapons
  • Well, the Emilia Golightly journey into self-improvement continued today, despite the best efforts of the criminial judicial system I might add!
  • As I booted my system earlier today and then decided to set up the computer, a thought suddenly struck me.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org../../../e/m/i/Emilia_Golightly_6e42.html"