Coluche

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Michel Colucci (October 28, 1944 – June 19, 1986), better known as Coluche, was a famous French comedian.

Contents

[edit] Life and career

Colucci adopted "Coluche" as a stage name at 26, when he began his entertainment career. He became known for his irreverent attitude towards politics and the “Establishment,” and he incorporated this into much of his material.

[edit] Presidential bid

He attempted to run in the French presidential elections in 1981, but ended up dropping out of the race because of political and media lobbying following polls that showed a significant part of the electorate might vote for him. Some threats to his life were also mentioned.

[edit] Restaurants du Cœur

He created the "Restos du cœur" charity in 1985. They collect food, money and clothes for the needy and the homeless.

[edit] Death

His death in 1986 in a motorcycle accident provoked national grief and inspired the album Putain de camion ("fucking truck") by close friend Renaud Séchan, known as "Renaud".

[edit] Awards

Coluche won the César Award for "Best Actor" for his role in Tchao pantin (So Long, Stooge, 1983).

[edit] Famous quotes

  • (facing a foreigner) All men are equals. But foreigners are more equals than others...
  • In a dictatorship you're told: "we'll shut you down !". In a democracy it's: "whatever dude!"...
  • When it comes to nuclear weapons, I'm neither for, nor against it - on the contrary!"
  • France has the best French politicians in the world!
  • A neutral country is one which does not sell weapons to a country at war.. unless it pays cash.
  • Yuri Gagarin was extremely unlucky: after orbiting Earth many times, he fell back in USSR!
  • God said: let's share. The rich will get enough to eat, and the poor will have appetite.
  • People say, "we live in a world full of morons!" They are right. But they still underestimate their number.
  • Just because there are so many of them being wrong doesn't mean they're right.
  • I know I look stupid, but most of the credit goes to the uniform. (posing as a cop)
  • Some people get a kid just because they can't afford a dog.
  • Society didn't want us? Well, it can rest assured that we don't want it either!
  • Long term credit means that the less you can pay, the more you pay.
  • Death: if you're hit, you'd better make fun of it; if you're not, there's no reason not to make fun of it.
  • Communism is one of the few grave diseases we didn't try on animals first.
  • A sandwich, in USSR, consists of one ticket for ham between two tickets for bread.
  • I used to pee my bed and was very ashamed of it. After seeing a psychiatrist I am still peeing my bed... But now I am proud of it.
  • I'm not a nouveau riche, I'm a former poor.
  • From everyone of those who have nothing to say, the nicest are those who keep it for themselves.
  • They say the crisis is making the rich richer and the poor poorer. I can't see how that's a crisis.
  • Politicians are to politics what holes are to cheese. More cheese means more holes. But more holes means less cheese.
  • They say that the poor are the good guys and the rich are the bad guys. Everyone wants to be bad.
  • They say 3 million people are looking for a job. False: all they really need is money.
  • (as a cop :) If we're not allowed to punch them in the face, kick them in the balls, or in the butt, how are we supposed to interrogate them ? Sometimes they don't even speak our language !
  • The speed of light is faster than the speed of sound, which is why sometimes people look bright until they start talking.
  • I'm not a racist; my dog is black.
  • There are fewer foreigners in France than there are racists.
  • Instead of blind we say "sight-impaired", instead of deaf we say "hearing-impaired", so should fools be called "understanding-impaired"? (possibly inaccurately paraphrased)
  • I'm following two diets simultaneously because with only one I wasn't getting enough to eat.
  • Sportsmen are stupid, right. But that's the team spirit! Guys in a team, they have but one spirit. So they have to share it...
  • You can get AIDS on a toilet seat, but there are more comfortable places.
  • Always remember than while the Gestapo had means to make you talk, our politicians have means to keep us quiet.
  • Earning a living isn't worth the sweat: you're already living. Job opportunities are scarce, so rather let who likes it have some.
  • Beside gangster or politician, what can you do without qualifications ? All there's left is artist.
  • One half of the politicians can't do anything, the other half would do anything.
  • Our immigrants would live better back in their country. To prove this: we love going there for vacation!
  • I went to Dakar [Senegal] for vacation... However, when checking my map of Paris: not a street matched each other!
  • If one day you feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.
  • Capitalism is man exploiting man. Socialism is just the opposite.
  • Do you know what I think of morons who listen to music while standing in uniform ? The answer is in the question.
  • I don't mean that all cops are intelligent - that would be too gross a generalizing.
  • (in a campaign speech:) I'll quit politics when politicians quit comedy - they steal my job, I steal theirs.
  • Can you make fun of everything? Well, my opinion is: if it's been funny, you were right to do it.
  • If there were a tax on stupidity, the government would be self-financing.
  • Playing the fool can be useful, but really it's easier just to be one.
  • I don't have any message... any wickedness... However, I am still being hated by half of you all...

[edit] External links

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org../../../c/o/l/Coluche.html"