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The emblem of the Christmas Chaos Cult, this image was etched onto the notebook paper type material made by the forskin of a thousand devotees
To define Christmas, one must first understand the history of Christmas. A very twisting tale in deed. A being of pure energy, Christmas inhabits the body of a person (usually female) and gives them awesomness. The most recent was the first child of a mother who didn't notice the birth as the child was of such diminutative stature. At once, Christmas attracted the attention of every major sporting company, as the only other African Chinese hybrid child, Tiger Woods was of incredible athletic skill. Strangly, Christmas chose to take the path of knowledge and martial arts. However, as Christmas gained knowledge of the world, the path he had chosen paled in comparision to the path of anime and video games. Seduced by the shiny lights and partial nudity of many games and animes, Christmas began to consume the cultures of Japan[weeaboo] and China, attributes that would later help him in collecting minds for harvesting in his love-child, The Christmas Chaos Cult[1].
[edit] The Age of Alliances
The current incarnation of Christmas was born in New York City. As such, he was subject to incredible extremes of prejudice and love, though not at the same time. Subject to incredible hatred as a result of his love of rather disturbing material, Christmas actually won the hearts of many by not reacting to their jests. His stone face and powerful facade in the face of such anger allowed him to gain respect. After realizing that the internet was the ideal medium in which to spread his influence, Christmas quickly tapped into the popular site myspace. Under the clendestine identity Christmas Jones, Christmas lured children into his lolicon/martial art lifestyle with promises of longer lifespans, Chocolate coins, and a cure for chaffing. When asked why or how he has attained this high level of perfection, he simply replied: "¯\(º_o)/¯ i dunno, lol."
[edit] Current Methods of Escaping the Boredom of Everyday Life
As previously stated, Christmas was recognized at a young age for his numerous skillz. As he wielded the ability to save matter projections in his mind[2], his limit for knowledge was non-existant. Christmas used this to his advantage by learning as many different things as possible. While he claims these are his "hobbies", the truth is that Christmas is developing himself into the epitomy of perfection, a sample of the height of the human race. As said by an adherent of his religion, Christmastism, "He's probably as close to being perfect as we'll get for about 1000 years."
Christmas has expressed a great need to absorb Animes, a common tool of japanese bards used to retell stories strangly filled with fan services including panty shots and jiggling breasts. As he was blessed with good taste, Christmas enjoys animes including Full Metal Alchemist, Chobits, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Hellsing, and others. By scrutinizing these works, Christmas is compiling enough information to be used to entice others into his cult.
Christmas has also expressed a great love of the Ninja. As seen on his myspace, christmas' infatuation with the budo ninjutsu style has caused him to methodically dress in his ninja garb and pose around his room. He has even ventured so far as to attend a week long ninjutsu camp. He apparently gained knowledge of the ninja from a well documented website [3].
While shock therapy is generally reserved for the clinically insane, Christmas has employed this act into his daily regiment. By periodically shocking himself with disguised peripherals, he not only maintains his strict sleeping schedule (4 sessions of 6 hours of sleep spread throughout the 24-hour day}, but he also stimulates cerebellum activity, enabling him temporary bursts of adrenal gland activity. When the time is right, Christmas unleashes a 100+ combo on ddr and/or pwns several individuals on halo (whether or not they are his allies). These small bursts are currently wasted in a mental state he is imprisoned in, that his mother calls "grounded."
[edit] See Also
- Additional Research of Creation[4]
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