Talk:Alec Empire

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Alec Empire is a former good article candidate. There are suggestions below for which areas need improvement to satisfy the good article criteria. Once the objections are addressed, the article can be renominated as a good article. If you disagree with the objections, you can seek a review.

Date of review: 2 October 2006

Contents

[edit] Rewrite

I like the new biog. very well written! Keiron22, 23 January 2006

Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it! Dwdmang 17:00, 15 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Empire's alleged bisexuality

I have removed the category "Bisexual musicians", because I'm not entirely sure that it is true. Of course, I have no evidence for this, but would somebody else be able to validate it here for accuracy's sake? Dwdmang 13:53, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Failed GA Nomination

Hi all,

I have done a review according to the standards listed at Wikipedia:What_is_a_good_article? as per the Good article review process and unfortuantely have to inform you that I find the article is not quite up to GA status at the moment. Please do not take offence at this and instead I hope that my comments will help to improve the article so that it can pass a future GA nomination.

Here are a few of the reasons that I felt the article was not GA standard:

  • NPOV: "who has also generated respect for his solo work" - who has he generated respect with and how can this be sources?
  • No citation: "His mother was the daughter of the inventor of the first domestic knitting machine, a self-made millionaire until his company went bankrupt upon his death".
  • NPOV: "led to him becoming one of Berlin's best breakdancers" - the source is by the artist so I believe this should be rewritten to say that the artist believed himself to be one of the best breakdancers etc.
  • NPOV: "He therefore developed a social conscience at a relatively early age" - this has been inferred by the author; we should aim to present facts and let the reader make deductions based upon them.
  • Uncompelling prose (just one example): "The label also invited DHR artists to tour the US. This would lead to recognition by MTV and alternative radio stations." I'd suggest that this should be one sentence seperated by a command replacing "this" with "which". I believe that quite a few sentences within this article need reworking to be deemable as compelling prose.
  • List: article degenerates into a very long list - consider seperating out the discography into new articles.
  • Images: could we have some more images, even if it is only album covers or the such like?
  • Citation: I believe that many more citations would be needed to bring this article to GA standard - remember that anything that is unsourced or unverifiable can technically be removed by another editor!

As I said, I hope this helps you improve the article and I look forward to seeing it back on the GA nominations page soon. Good work all!

Martin Hinks 18:39, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

A couple more points to supplement Martin's excellent review:

  • The lead is way too short given the article length. See WP:LEAD
  • I think Empire's discography is of a sufficient length to be split into a seperate article (see e.g. The Shamen and The Shamen discography). --kingboyk 20:15, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for the comments. I can see there's some work to be done. I've made a start by creating Alec Empire discography. With a little more work, this will become a good article. I'm determined to make it so. Dwdmang 22:12, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
That's the spirit! Good luck. --kingboyk 22:51, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
Cool work on the discog Dwdmang - thanks for the extra points that I missed kingboy! Martin Hinks 07:15, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Pics

Good work on uplaoding the images, AlexOvShaolin. I had the intention of getting my lazy ass into gear and sprucing up the page but you've beaten me to it. Funnily enough I had the exact same image of ATR in mind...

Däv 22:08, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

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