A Soldier's Farewell

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043 - A Soldier's Farewell
Script Jimmy Perry and David Croft
Director David Croft
Producer David Croft
Recorded Friday 2/6/72
Original transmission 13/10/72 6.50pm
Series Five
Length 30 minutes
Original Viewing Figures ??? million
Preceded by Keep Young and Beautiful
Followed by Getting The Bird

"A Soldier's Farewell" is the third episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army that was originally transmitted on 13 October 1972.

[edit] Synopsis

Mainwairing is depressed: his men are falling short of his expectations, his leadership is unappreciated and his dreams are filled with Frenchmen.

[edit] Plot

The episode opens with the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard unit in Eastgate cinema, watching a takeoff of a famous film about Napoleon. A clever panning shot moves across the faces of the platoon whilst they are watching, Mainwaring looking superior, Wilson looking bored, Frazer muttering 'rubbish', Pike sucking his thumb, Godfrey asleep... At the end of the film the National Anthem begins, but the platoon all stampede out apart from Mainwaring who gets knocked over in the rush but stuggles up to stand to attention whilst the anthem plays to a now empty cinema.

The platoon is next seen on the upper deck of a bus going back to Walmington. Mainwaring asks the platoon what they thought of the film. Sponge says they should have sat at the front as he couldn't see. Mainwaring says he was disappointed - he thought the film would have been about strategy and tactics but consisted of Greta Garbo being chased around a four poster bed. Walker replies that that IS strategy and tactics.

Wilson and Mainwaring are given their tickets by an attractive bus conductress who Mainwaring takes a fancy to, and when Walker, Pike and Jones start larking about then singing a rude song Mainwaring stops them and apologises to the bus conductress , who is grateful and says he is 'very gallant'. Warden Hodges arrives, and teases the platoon for going to the cinema and not being ready for Hitler. Whilst buying a ticket he asks the bus conductress for a 'tickle at the terminus'. Mainwaring is furious and intervenes again, and is thanked by the bus conductress . Mainwaring then instructs the platoon that after their disgraceful behaviour in the cinema, they are to let him go off the bus first and in an orderly fashion. When the bus stops at Walmington, Hodges lets him get half way down the bus then shouts 'Its closing time in five minutes' thus causing Mainwaring to get knocked over again in the stampede as the platoon rush for the pub.

Next the platoon are on parade. Frazer gives a long rambling explanation of how he complained to the manager about the 'sheer historical inaccuracies of the film', but eventually admits sheepishly that he got his money back. Mainwaring berates them for the two examples of bad behaviour. They apologise, but he responds by saying that 'fine words butter no parsnips'. This provokes a discussion in the ranks until he says that the platoon will have to stand to attention whilst Sergeant Wilson plays the British National Anthem on the gramophone 20 times. They stand to attention, but Wilson plays the German National Anthem by mistake, and is half asleep so Mainwaring has to shout at him to take it off. He and Wilson go to Mainwaring's office, where they find the vicar at his desk, who refuses to get out of the way for Mainwaring. Whilst Jones continues to play the National Anthem at an increasing speed, Mainwaring and the vicar have to stand, then race to sit on the chair, like musical chairs.

The next scene is in Mainwaring's office after the parade. Walker arrives and gives Sgt Wilson two bottles of Black Market stout, and presents Mainwaring with some similarly sourced cheddar cheese. Mainwaring excuses this to Wilson by saying it is for his vegetarian wife. He rings her to spring this 'toasted cheese supper' surprise on her, but she gets the wrong idea on the phone and says she has a headache and is going to bed. Mainwaring is disappointed, but Wilson suggests they eat the cheese between them. Mainwaring is touched, then Jones arrives and, tempted by the cheese, offers some kidneys if he can join them. Cut to the end of the feast, when Jones tells a wonderful rambling story about a native girl he nearly married in the Sudan. Mainwaring leaves to go home, suggesting that the bus conductress they met earlier wouldn't have turned down a toasted cheese supper.

Next scene is in Mainwarings Anderson shelter in his garden. He is having a restless night after eating the (rather indigestible) meal with Wilson and Jones. He takes some bismuth (indigestion) tablets.

The scene now shifts into a dream by Mainwaring about Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo. It features the rest of the cast in typical roles, Wilson is Wellington, flanked by senior officers played by Hodges and Frazer. Many catch phrases and actions are used, 'put that light out' ' you stupid boy', Private Godfrey's 'upside down cakes', 'Oi, Napoleon' and also some phrases from earlier in the episode such as Sponge saying 'we should have sat at the front in the ninepennies' when Mainwaring complains that he can't see the battle. At the surrender, Wilson acts very superior, for instance asking Mainwaring for his full name and address, and refusing to let Mainwaring borrow his pen. Mainwaring says farewell to his troops, with great comic effect. Hodges then tells the troops that the Duke will buy them all a drink, and in the stampede they knock Mainwaring over into the mud.

Mainwaring is next seen standing next to the bus conductress , dressed like Josephine Bonaparte just before Napoleon is sent into exile. They exchange farewells, then Mainwaring wakes up, to find that he has overslept and he has a rude note from his wife complaining that he didn't come home last night.

[edit] Cast

Cast Characters
Arthur Lowe Captain Mainwaring
John Le Mesurier Sergeant Wilson
Clive Dunn Lance Corporal Jones
John Laurie Private Frazer
James Beck Private Walker
Arnold Ridley Private Godfrey
Ian Lavender Private Pike
Bill Pertwee Chief Warden Hodges
Frank Williams Vicar
Robert Gillespie Charles Boyer
Joan Savage Greta Garbo
Joy Allen Clippie
Colin Bean Private Sponge


Dad's Army
Characters:
Captain Mainwaring | Sergeant Wilson | Lance-Corporal Jones
Private Walker | Private Pike | Private Frazer | Private Godfrey
Warden Hodges | Mavis Pike | Reverend Farthing | Maurice Yeatman
List of Dad's Army episodes:
Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | 1st Christmas Special | Series 5 | Series 6
Series 7 | Series 8 | 2nd Christmas Special | 3rd Christmas Special | Series 9
Christmas Night with the Stars Inserts | DVD and Video releases
List of Dad's Army radio episodes:
Series 1 | 1st Christmas Special | Series 2 | Series 3 | Audio releases
Spin-offs
The Film | The Stage Show | It Sticks Out Half a Mile