'Allo 'Allo! (series 1)

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This article contains episode summaries for the pilot and first series of the British Sitcom series 'Allo 'Allo!.

The pilot originally aired on December 30, 1982. It was repeated as the first of a series of eight episodes aired from September 7 to October 26, 1984.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
Series No. Episode No. Episode Title Original UK Airdate
Pilot 1 The British Are Coming December 30, 1982
1.01 2 Series One Episode One September 14, 1984
1.02 3 Pigeon Post September 21, 1984
1.03 4 Saville Row to the Rescue September 28, 1984
1.04 5 The Execution October 5, 1984
1.05 6 The Funeral October 12, 1984
1.06 7 Red Nick's Colonel October 19, 1984
1.07 8 The Dance of the Hitler Youth October 26, 1984

[edit] Pilot: The British Are Coming

René discusses arrangements for the girls with the egg whisk and the feather duster later. Yvette tells him that there is a woman in the back room. When René proceeds inside, Michelle tells him at gun point about the French Resistance and that until recently she has been hiding some British airmen in a safe house. She follows with a sad story of what happened to the owners of the safe house when they were found out. René is frightened when she tells him that his is to be the next safe house. She also informs him that he will be harboring a counterfeiter who will forge the airmen's papers.

We cut to a scene of members of the resistance literally breaking an elderly man out of jail. This man turns out to be LeClerc, though we do not learn this until later. Back in the Cafe, Edith informs René of the sequence of events that LeClerc will use to demonstrate that he is himself. Unfortunately, an unknown, Lieutenant Hubert Gruber shows up and carries through the sequence of events. René asks "Are you one of them?" and Gruber replies "Well, it was very lonely on the Russian front." LeClerc finally turns up, and problems ensue as he carries out the secret signals. Eventually all is straightened out, or at least set firmly crooked.

The British airmen arrive through the window of the back room. Antics ensue when René and Yvette cannot speak their language. Eventually, Michelle comes to help out, and they all go upstairs to use the radio.

Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Hans Geering are enjoying a quiet day, with the Colonel explaining to the Captain about the theft of the Silver, the world's oldest cuckoo clock and the painting of "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" By Van Clomp. Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo arrives, and the two officers quickly hide the valuables. Herr Flick announces that he is here to find the stolen painting, and the officers panic. They hide the treasures in René's cellar, only to find the British airmen. However, Herr Flick comes in upstairs and, they cover for René so as not to be found out about the Fallen Maddona. Once Flick is gone, the Colonel declares that "Yvette will be upstairs in one hour with the feather dusters and the electric mixer... with two speeds!"

[edit] Series One Episode One

Note: This episode may officially be known as "The Fallen Madonna", as listed on the Region 1 DVD release. Some confusion remains over the title of this episode, which is why the Region 2 DVD release simply refers to this episode as being "Series One Episode One".

[edit] Pigeon Post

Michelle decides to use carrier pigeons to contact London about the missing uniforms, due to the fact that the two German officers are hiding in the room with the radio. The British airmen are captured by the communist resistance. The French resistance attack the Communist Resistance, and the British airmen think the French resistance are the Germans. They burn their uniforms, and escape.

Meanwhile, the two German officers dress as onion sellers. Flick finds them, and they make up a story concerning their attempts to infiltrate the resistance. Now that the Germans are out of the room with the radio, René orders the uniforms via radio. The pigeons have no use, so René leaves them in the kitchen. Edith is asked to cook something special, so she uses the pigeons and makes a pigeon pie.

[edit] Saville Row to the Rescue

Colenel Von Strohm and Captian Hans Gering are disguised as onion sellers, while the uniforms are being made by a Jewish Tailor in London. Michelle gives Rene some nitroglicerin, saying it is to blow up a train. The explosives are disguised as gin, so Edith gives some to her mother and the chickens, thinking it is gin. The two Germans must meet General Von Klinkerhoffen, and they still do not have their uniforms back. The Germans tag along on a mission to blow up the train, and to get their uniforms as the plane from London will be arriving to give them their new uniforms and take the airmen back. The uniforms are too small, and the tailor (who arrived on the plane) must take them back. The plane is too small to bring back the airmen. The plane leaves, and Hans says he may as well take a drink from the bottle of "gin". Finding out the gin is an explosive, he throws the bottle on the train tracks, and it destroys them completely. Rene and the two officers are captured, and everyone else escaspes.

[edit] The Execution

René is in prison for destroying the train tracks, and the two German officers and in with him. The others hatch separate plans, mostly consisting of sending them hacksaws. Then Edith and Fanny visit the prison, and switch clothes with the Germans, so the officers can escape. The officers make it back to their office, and find their uniforms when the General comes and tells them to shoot at least one peasant. Poor René is tied up. Gruber is to lead the firing squad. The two German officers bring along blanks to give to Gruber. Hans also brings along the real bullets for comparison, and Gruber takes both boxes. The firing squad load up, and fire. René's last words are "Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once. My bum is on a thistle!"

[edit] The Funeral

René is posing as his own twin brother, in order to not arouse suspicion. Alfonse the undertaker arrives to take the measurements for the coffin, and to organize the funeral. Michelle arrives and gives René land mines, which he hides in the coffin. The Colonel and the Captain attend the funeral to take the names of the resistance, and Herr Flick spies in the background. The cemetery is locked, since the fake priest forgot the key (Leclerc). While the townsfolk argue over the lock, the coffin rolls away right towards Herr Flick's Gestapo staff car. It eventually falls off, hits the ground and explodes.

[edit] Red Nick's Colonel

Things have returned to, if not normal, at least peaceful. René bakes a cake for the Colonel's birthday, but the Communist Resistance shows up to kidnap the Colonel. René is able to avoid trouble with the resistance only by revealing the icing on the cake was plaster of paris, and that his wife's "Serenade" was the verbal equivialant of torture. While Herr Flick searches the building and interogates anyone, Michelle and René get rid of the Radio.

René is kidnapped and taken to the Communist hide out to shoot the Colonel and the Captain. He manages not to have to when the Gaullist Resistance shows up with guns to save the day. Herr Flick is in his car looking for them. When he finally finds them, Hans gives him at last, the forgery of the painting of the Fallen Maddona with the Big Boobies by Van Clomp, which was dropped by the RAF. It is not until later in René's café that the discover Herr Flick has the real one!

[edit] The Dance of the Hitler Youth

The new radio will arrive by Leclerc disguised as a cheese seller. Leclerc arrives with a suitcase. The radio is inside, and the radio is already connected. Gruber comes, and the radio starts whistling. René, faking it is him whistling is getting Gruber suspicious. Then the radio starts talking in code, and René tries combining the random words in a hilarious scene. The colonel wants René to reserve the café for a night, to celebrate the burning down of the Reichstag. Herr Flick is not invited, and he finds out there is a party, so he comes and joins the party.

Meanwhile René and Edith are going to Herr Flick's headquarters to exchange the paintings. However, they do not know that the original painting is in his Gestapo boots. The painting in the headquarters is a forgery, and René and Edith give the forgery to a guard who putts it in Herr Flick's headquarters. They come back, and take the British airmen to the coast to row back to Britan. The airmen refuse, and they all return to the café.

'Allo! 'Allo!
Characters:
René | Edith | Madame Fanny | Yvette | Maria | Mimi | Michelle | Roger LeClerc
Ernest LeClerc | Alfonse | Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen | Col. Von Strohm
Lt. Gruber | Captain Hans | Captain Bertorelli | Herr Flick | Helga | Von Smallhausen
Crabtree | Fairfax | Carstairs | Gen. Von Flockenstuffen | Denise | Louise
Episodes:
Pilot & Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | Series 5
Series 6 | Series 7 | Series 8 | Series 9 | The Best of 'Allo 'Allo!
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